I am ill: Doctor Appointment
*cough*
*sneeze*
Ugh!
I have a cold.
My throat hurts.
I have a headache.
My sinuses are inflamed and stuffed.
I cough and sneeze every three seconds
and I have no energy.
I have to go to the doctor.
*Herr Antrim calls the doctor.*
36-24-36.
Nurse Miller: Antrim Practice, Nurse Miller on the phone. What can I do for you?
Herr Antrim: Hello, Mr. Miller. This is Levi Antrim.
I have a cold,
but I fear I might have strep throat
or diphtheria.
Could I get an appointment for today?
Nurse Miller: Of course.
There are available appointments
at a quarter after ten, thirteen ten (1:10 pm) and sixteen o’clock (4 pm).
Herr Antrim: I’ll take the first one.
The earlier I see the doctor, the sooner I will recover.
Hopefully I won’t die in the next two hours.
Nurse Miller: Are you immunized, Mr. Antrim?
Herr Antrim: Yes. Of course. Anti-vaxxers are idiots.
Nurse Miller: If you are immunized, then you probably don’t have diphtheria,
but rather a completely normal man-flu.
You will probably survive.
Herr Antrim: Well, good. Until ten fifteen.
Nurse Miller: See you later. Bye.
***At the doctor’s office in the waiting room***
Nurse Miller: Hello.
Herr Antrim: Hello.
Nurse Miller: Do you have an appointment?
Herr Antrim: Yes, at ten fifteen. I am Levi Antrim.
Nurse Miller: May I see your insurance card for a moment?
Herr Antrim: Yes. Here it is.
Nurse Miller: Thank you. Please fill out this anamnesis questionnaire.
Herr Antrim: Didn’t I fill out this anamnesis questionnaire last time?
Nurse Miller: Probably, yes, but you have to update it once in a while.
Herr Antrim: Ok. *He sitzt down.*
I don’t understand why I have to update my name and birthdate.
My cellphone number is still 011496-714-7113.
Insurance Agency: AOK Plus
Employer: Dunkin Donuts
Remitter/Referral: Uhm… Google?
Am I currently under the care of a doctor?
I am at the doctor’s office now, but I don’t think that is the question.
I will mark “no”.
Then I don’t have to fill out these blanks.
Are you or have you had any of the following illnesses?
Respiratory Disease (Asthma, shortness of breath) - No.
Allergies (Penicillin, Pain Medications) - seasonal allergies, but otherwise, nothing.
Sugar disease (Diabetes) - No.
Rheumatic Diseases - No.
Infectious Diseases (Tuberculosis, AIDS, Hepatitis, etc.) - Yepp. I’ve got ‘em all.
Heart or Circulatory Diseases (Heart Attack, High Blood Pressure) - No.
Kidney Disease - No.
Do you take any medication regularly?
(Marcumar, Aspirin, Biphosphate) -
Tee hee. They wrote “ASS” here.
(Herr Antrim googles “ASS Medikamente.)
Oh. They mean Aspirin,
but that is a name brand product.
In general it is called acetylsalicylic acid.
No wonder the Germans simply say “ASS”.
I can’t pronounce this word at all.
Oh no. I don’t take these medications regularly.
Are you currently pregnant?
Hopefully not, but if yes, then I will be famous.
When was your last dental x-ray?
1995.
Nurse Miller: Mr. Antrim, please.
Please, take a seat. The doctor will be with you shortly.
Doctor: Hello, Mr. Antrim. How can I help you?
Herr Antrim: I think I have a cold, but I wanted to be sure that it wasn’t anything worse.
Doctor: Open wide and say “Ahh”.
Herr Antrim: Ahhh.
Doctor: Now I will listen to your lungs.
(He puts the stethoscope on Herr Antrim’s chest.)
And now breathe deeply in and out.
Herr Antrim: (He breathes in and out.)
Doctor: And now I will measure your temperature.
(He measures Herr Antrim’s temperature.)
39 degrees (102.2 F). That is a fever.
And now I will swab the back of your throat
and test this for bacteria.
I will be back with the results shortly.
***5 Minutes Later***
Doctor: You have streptococci.
Herr Antrim: What does that mean?
Am I dying?
How long do I have to live?
Should I call my family? Help, doc.
Doctor: You have strep throat (inflammation of the throat).
You will survive.
You will get an antibiotic for that
and in a few days you will feel much better.
Herr Antrim: Thank you.
Doctor: You will get the medication from the pharmacy with a prescription.
If you don’t feel better after a few days,
call me and we will try something else.
Here is a sick certificate for your employer.
I wish you a good recovery. Good-bye.
Herr Antrim: Good-bye.
If you're looking for more doctor visit type videos, I've got another one of those over here.
In the meantime, that is all for today. Thanks for watching. Until next time. Bye.