>> AND DO YOU HAVE A BOTTLE OF WATER?
>> SURE. HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?
SO HOT, OR SOLID BLOCK OF ICE? >> ACTUALLY I'M GOOD.
>> WISE CHOICE.
>> HEY MAN, DO YOU HAVE A BATHROOM?
>> A WHAT? >> LIKE A BATHROOM.
LIKE A BATHROOM I CAN USE. >> DUDE, DID YOU JUST ASK TO USE
A BATHROOM IN A BODEGA? >> WHAT?
WHO CARES, IT'S AN EMERGENCY. >> OH MY GOD.
THAT IS EVEN WORSE. YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN A BODEGA
BATHROOM MAN. >> WOULD YOU LIKE THE BATHROOM
KEY OR NOT? >> CHARLIE, IF YOU DO THIS I
DON'T THINK WE CAN BE FRIENDS ANYMORE MAN.
>> RELAX DUDE, IT'S JUST A BATHROOM.
I'M SURE IT'S FINE. >> AND SO IT SHALL BE.
OH BODEGA CAT, SHOW THIS MAN TO THE BATHROOM.
>> MAKE A WISH. HOLD YOUR BREATH.
♪ COME WITH ME AND YOU'LL BE IN A WORLD
OF ZERO SANITATION ♪ ♪ CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND AVOID INHALATION ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT A NEW
PARASITE THEN WE LOOK AROUND
AND VIEW THEM ♪ ♪ ALL THE STICKY STUFF
IS FLUIDS WANT TO KNOW FOR SURE PUT
A BLACK LIGHT TO IT ♪ >> OH MY GOD.
>> THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO USE
THIS BATHROOM THAT'S NOT A DOG GIVING BIRTH.
>> MAN, WHAT KIND OF CREEP WOULD LET A BATHROOM GET LIKE THIS?
>> I DID. ♪ WHO CAN SELL YOU CONDOMS
AND ARIZONA ICE TEA LOOSIE CIGARETTES
AND PLANTAIN CHIPS ♪ ♪ THE BODEGA MAN CAN
OH THE BODEGA MAN CAN ♪ ♪ THE BODEGA MAN CAN CAUSE
HE MIXES LOTS OF PILLS AND CALLS THEM
TIGER SEX PILLS ♪
♪ WHO CAN MAKE A RAINBOW WITH CANS OF BOILED MEAT
THE OREOS ARE RUSSIAN AND THE ATM'S IS CHINESE ♪
♪ THE BODEGA MAN CAN OH THE BODEGA MAN CAN ♪
>> ENOUGH! THE CHILD IS MINE!
HE TOOK THE KEY, AND NOW HE MUST PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE.
>> I'M SORRY MY SON. I CANNOT PROTECT YOU ANY LONGER.
>> COME ON. FEED ME, SEYMOUR.
FEED ME! >> STOP!
>> BODEGA VIRGIN MARY CANDLES? >> THAT'S RIGHT.
IF NO ONE ELSE WILL PROTECT THE BOY, I WILL.
AND I HOPE THAT SOME DAY WE CAN ERASE --
♪ THE MEMORIES OF THIS HORRIBLE DAY WHEN HE
NEEDED A TOILET IN A MOMENT OF SHAME ♪
♪ IF YOU TOUCH ME YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHAT
UNHAPPINESS IS ♪ ♪ YOUR WORST DAY
HAS BEGUN ♪ ♪♪♪
>> WOW. THAT WAS BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND
DISGUSTING. I THINK I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON.
>> NOT YET YOU HAVEN'T. ♪ OOMPA LOOMPA
DOOPITY DOO WE'VE GOT A TROUBLING
BATHROOM FOR YOU ♪ ♪ OOMPA LOOMPA
DOOPITY DEE WE GOT AN F FROM
THE C-D-C ♪ ♪ WHAT DO YOU GET
WHEN YOU SIT ON THAT SEAT ♪
♪ SWINE HPV AND A WAVE OF HEAT.
♪ WHERE ARE YOU GETTING DESPERATE
LIKE THAT ♪ ♪ THE THING IS A
SWIMMING POOL FOR RATS ♪
♪ I DON'T LIKE THE LOOK OF ♪
>> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WAIT, WAIT.
YOU GOT OOMPA LOOMPAS IN YOUR BODEGA.
>> NO, THOSE ARE JUST SOUR PATCH KIDS THAT HAVE BEEN IN THE STORE
SO LONG, THEY CAME TO LIFE. >> LISTEN, HERE'S YOUR KEY BACK
MISTER. I DECIDED NOT TO USE YOUR
BATHROOM AFTER ALL. >> NO CHARLIE, DON'T YOU SEE?
IT'S YOURS NOW, THE BATHROOM, THE BODEGA.
I'M LEAVING IT ALL TO YOU. YOU PASSED THE TEST.
>> WHAT WILL I DO WITH IT? IT'S A BODEGA CHARLIE.
THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS. BECAUSE THERE'S --
♪♪♪ ♪ 525 THOUSAND 6 HUNDRED
ITEMS 525 THOUSAND BUGS BELOW THE SINK ♪
♪ 525 THOUSAND FLAVORS OF RAMEN
HOW CAN WE SELL YOU ONE LOOSE BEER ♪
♪ THERE'S SAMPLES AND HOT SAUCE
AND THE WORST EVER CUP OF COFFEE ♪
♪ AND TAMPONS SO HIGH UP ♪
♪ THERE'S A GUY WHO DOESN'T WORK HERE
JUST SITTING AND WATCHING SOCCER ♪
♪ AND CHARGERS BUT THEY'RE ONLY
FOR AN IPHONE THREE ♪ ♪ AND WHAT ABOUT
LOVE THAT SO CALLED LOVE JUST UNWRAP ONE
BODEGA LOVE ♪ ♪ WHAT ABOUT
LOVE THEY PROBABLY DON'T BRUSH ♪
>> ALL RIGHT, I'VE DECIDED TO DROPOUT OF NYU AND RUN THIS
BODEGA FULL TIME! >> YEAH!
♪ BODEGA LOVE BODEGA OF LOVE ♪
♪♪♪