Have you noticed a change in your relationship.
Are you worried that your partner is taking you for granted and doesn’t want you as
much?
Do you want things to go back to the way they once were?
Well keep watching because in this video I’ll explain the four things you can do to make
him want you and value you more.
So don’t go anywhere because we are starting in 4 seconds.
hi everyone..
I’m dr Antonio Borrello, Welcome to another video.
I’m a psychologist and relationship coach and I make weekly dating and relationship
advice videos.
This channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy
with the people you love.
So, if you’re interested in making your love life the best part of your life, start
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anything.
OK… on to the tips that will make him want you more.
Ok.
So Here’s the scenario.
You’ve been dating someone and things started out great.
You were seeing one another frequently..
going on romantic dates... he communicated well and you knew he was into you because
you connected On so many different levels.
The beginning was great.
But now things are different.
The guy who was always texting and blowing up your phone is now inconsistently responding.
He no longer initiates communication and romantic dates..
it’s like the chase is over and he’s no longer putting in effort to make you feel
special.
And you’re kinda feeling like he doesn’t care as much and that you aren’t important.
You’re disappointed and feeling like he doesn’t want you or value you like he once
did.
If this Sounds familiar, don’t worry because I’m going to share the best ways to turn
things around quickly and have him wanting you like he did in the beginning.
And of course, the tips you use depends on one what’s really happening with him..
and Usually his change in behavior is due to one of three different reasons.
And those are
1.
His change is a reflection of your changes...
2.
his change is simply a matter of him getting comfortable and not paying attention or
3.
His change in behavior and attitude are due to the fact that he values you less.
The first two reasons are easy to fix.. the third one is a bit more challenging.
Make sure you watch until the end to fully understand the actions you can take to turn
things around.
Let’s start with number one.
His change is a reflection of your changes.
Ask yourself.
Have you been less interested?
Have you stopped putting in the effort to maintain and grow the relationship?
Have you not been as thoughtful and caring?
Have you stopped showing him how much you care? or, did you have a falling out or
a serious disagreement of opinion.
If any of these are your situation, I think
you know what you need to do to get him wanting you again.
And that is that you need to put in more effort to show him that you care and value
the relationship.
take some action to become more engaged and spice things up a bit.
Plan a special and romantic date.. have a heart to heart conversation and let him
know how much you care and appreciate him.
Or surprise him With spontaneous flirty texts to let him know
you’re thinking about him.
In other words..
do all of the nice and romantic things you were doing in the beginning and see what happens.
The second possible reason for his changing behavior could be a reflection of him (or
both of you) getting too comfortable and getting into patterns where you take the relationship
for granted and no longer put effort into the relationship… for the relationship sake.
If this resonates with you, remember this RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT MADE IN HEAVEN.
THEY COME IN INDIVIDUAL KITS THAT TAKE TIME AND EFFORT TO PUT TOGETHER.
Yes.. relationships take work.. if you want an AMAzing life long relationship... both
you and your partner must commit to building, maintaining, and fixing your beautiful life
together.
So have that conversation with your partner and figure out what you both can do to make
the relationship more of a priority..
Again, this one is pretty obvious, right…
But let’s say the first two reasons don’t apply to your situation…
in fact, I suspect the third reason is what is happening to most of you.
You notice a change in their in his behavior despite the fact that you are putting in more
effort than ever.
For example, in the beginning, he was totally into you…he was communicating all the time,
initiating and planning dates….. telling you how much he cared.. and now..he communicates
less and less or becomes less and less responsive.
The concerned guy who always made plans is now canceling dates at the last minute.
Or the guy who was writing you paragraphs is now barely giving you short, one or two
word responses to your texts.
Yes, when a person you like loses interest, their behavior change is easy to spot and
produces uneasy and uncertain feelings about the relationship.
it’s frustrating and discouraging..
trust me..
I know, it’s happened to me many times and when you don’t know the reason, it leaves
you questioning your worth..
.. so let’s dig into this and figure out why he’s taking you for granted and
hardly trying.
In this case His change in behavior and attitude are due to the fact that he values you and
the relationship less and that leaves him less concerned.
Let’s talk about value and desire.
A persons value and desire is dependent on two things..
attraction (and I don’t mean physical attraction) and investment and I’m not talking about
money here either.
First Let me explain how your value and attraction are related.
The biology behind attraction is that we want better offspring.
So whenever we see someone who is healthy, strong, smart, attractive, lovable…
they are a highly valued person..
a highly valued mate.. and to quantify things…
lets say this person is a 10… im not talking about just physically..
im talking all around.. this person is attractive, strong, healthy, smart, caring, nurturing…
let’s say they are a 10 genetically…. their genes are a ten and for argument sake,
let’s say that you’re a 6.. so we feel their genes are superior and when coupled
with ours, might produce better offspring.
So, we like those numbers.. we want to mate with a 10 because our children will have better
genes, right.
On the other hand…
They are a 10 and looking at us as a 6….
When someone comes around showing too much
interest in us, we feel they have less value, it’s like ‘why the hell are you even interested
in me?’
We have this deep rooted perception that anyone who is super interested in us must be flawed
and looking for superior genes.
Crazy, right… but Whether we are thinking about reproduction or not, much of what we
consider attractive is compelled our subconscious minds.
And perceived value has a lot to do with how attracted we are to a person.
And when perceived value goes down, so does ones level of attractiveness.
So when you show an uninvested person…
a new person you’re dating too much interest, you’re perceived value (relative to theirs)
goes down.
The second part… how value and investment
are related.
The fact is that We like, appreciate, and commit to the things and people that we invest
our time, energy, and money into.
And your value is influenced by your partners investments into the relationship in terms
of time, energy, and other important resources.
The more we invest in someone, the more we like and appreciate them as a result.
Things (people) we don't invest in are somehow less valued.
If you’re the one doing all the investing, the relationship becomes lopsided and you’ll
be taken for granted and unappreciated.
. And when things get difficult, it's the partner who has invested the least that is
more willing to call it quits and walk away.
You'd think they have much more to lose, but that's not how it works.
Balance is essential.
So..
How do you fix this?
Keep watching because these are the 4 essential tips that will change everything.
1..
Let him invest in you.
People care more when they put more effort into their relationships, So, let your partner
invest in you.
When they do, they are increasing their feelings of love and appreciation for you.
And I’m not talking about money..
im talking about allowing him to help you with things..
small favors, helping you complete a project at home,.
Help with studying..
things that take time and effort.
The more he invests, the more he will like you as a result…
I know it seems counterintuitive, but trust me… we appreciate and value the things we
work hard for.
invest in each other equally—share the effort, Share the work, Share in the giving and receiving—
and you will develop an amazing appreciation for each other.
2 PRIORITIZE YOUR NEEDS…
PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
Sometimes people go out of their way to show the person they’re dating how much they
like them.
… they jump at every opportunity to talk, hang out, text…
Usually that’s a good thing.. but not if you’re trying to raise your value or
trying to get him to want you more In this case, you need to take the attention off of
him, and put it back onto yourself.
Take care of you first… pick up some hobbies, make and KEEP plans with your friends.. fill
up your social calendar….
And when he calls last minute to make plans…
Oops.. sorry, I have plans…
this will make him prioritize and plan his time with you.
3 Become Scarce.
This can be difficult to do.. because When you like someone, you want to spend as much
time with them as possible, right?
But this can often backfire…
By constantly being available, you diminish your value.
So if he’s taking you for granted…
start being a little less available.
And then even less, until he hardly sees you at all.
You've now effectively instigated the "law of scarcity."
We all know this one: People want what they can't have.. think about the principle
of scarcity.. things that are scarce are more valuable….
If your time is scarce, it’s has more value..
Plus, absence makes the heart grow fonder….
And don’t say “out of sight out of mind” He’s going to be wondering about you.. let
him have the thoughts you’ve had… let him become the one worried about the relationship.
#4 Be a little bit Mysterious..
That means you don’t have to share every
detail of your daily activities with him.
You don’t need to over explain every little thing that you’re doing…
you want him to wonder.. to develop intrigue…
So, when you’re going out to dinner with your parents, tell him you’re going out
to dinner…
you don’t have to tell him who you’re going with… unless he asks..
When you have plans with friends…and he asks you on a date last minute.. tell him
you have plans with friends..
you don’t have to go above and beyond to make him feel at ease about what you’re
doing..
remember…
you want him to appreciate you and your time… and you want him to remember your value as
a friend.
So… let him wonder and if he needs to ask, let him do that too.
Remember..
RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT MADE IN HEAVEN.
THEY COME IN INDIVIDUAL KITS THAT TAKE TIME AND EFFORT TO PUT TOGETHER… and it takes
both parties working together…
sometimes its 50-50.. sometimes its 60-40 and other times its 40-60..
its all about balancing each other and supporting one another when needed.
if a relationship is meant to be… if he is the person for you, if you are really that
compatible, then implementing these suggestions will certainly bring the two of you closer.
That’s for sure…
But if it’s not right…
if he’s not the right one for you, if there are too many differences, … nothing you
can do will change that outcome…
it just wont work… and that’s ok.
So..
I’d love hearing your stories and examples…..
Have you been in this situation and turned things around?
If so, I’d love to hear about it.
Leave a comment and let’s start a discussion.
I promise to respond to all of them.
And… if you are struggling with a recent breakup or relationship problem that you need
some help with, contact me at AntonioBorrello@icloud.com and perhaps we can work together one on one.
I coach people all over the world both over the phone or though video conferencing.
So send me an email at antonioborrello@icloud.com and let’s talk.
Oh, and if you’re interested in more videos that will help you build great relationships
so you can grow happy with the people you love, make sure you’ve subscribed so you
aren’t missing anything.
And please hit that thumbs up button to let me know you found this video helpful.
Thanks for watching..
I'll see you in the next video