What happens when 800 of the world's most elite footballers
and their managers live together under one roof?
Players stop being polite
and start getting Re-al.
This is
The Champions.
-Things are really crazy at Barcelona right now.
But I am not one to panic.
-Hey, did you call me?
-Every team needs an identity.
Mine is “Premier League: Where Are They Now.”
-People keep saying my problem is that I overthink things.
But have they considered that
they’re not thinking about things enough?
-Mmm! England is so different from Germany.
But at least the food is still bad!
-C’mon, microchip,
I know you’re in there somewhere.
Ever since leaving Liverpool,
people act like I just walked off
the edge of the flat Earth.
Ha!
But I am still the best defender...
of the truth.
You see that? The dome is fake.
It’s a projection created by Bill Gates to control us.
Exhibit A:
Yah-hoo!
(Grunts)
(Sniffs)
Oh.
What is this?
A smell like a Dutch meadow full of tulips?
(Sniffs)
Oh yeah. (Sniffs)
Virgil?
You're supposed to be injured.
(Gasps)
This is impossible.
-Can I help you, Dejan?
-Oh, I'm so sorry…
I was, uhhh, looking for Mo Salah.
I miss him so bad.
-Cool.
Anyways, good luck with that.
-Hey, uh, you were running pretty fast in there, huh?
-I guess.
I mean, I'm just rehabbing.
-And you didn't even break a sweat.
-I never do.
-He can't be human.
He sprints with a bad ACL,
doesn't sweat
and still smells like a springtime in Holland?
There's something stinky going on.
And I'm gonna stick my nose in it.
-(Yelling) -(Machines whirring)
Now, this is a very good string map.
(Gasps)
Clones.
-You shouldn't be here, Dejan. -You shouldn't be here, Dejan.
-You were transferred. -You were transferred.
-(Yelling)
You guys,
you're not gonna believe it!
Virgil van Dijk is a clone!
And there's a whole army of clones
in a secret Liverpool laboratory!
-A Livertory?
-Or is it like a Laborapool?
-Oh, come on, guys.
This is just another one of his
coo-coo-wackadoo theories.
-It's true! I can prove it!
-It’s always something with this guy.
First he said there’s a secret
fight club in the basement,
then Gareth Bale’s an alien, and now this?!
You are a liar, and nobody believes you.
And even if we did believe you,
nobody has a VHS player.
-He has a point.
-Right on point, Malcom is. -Right. -Yes, yes.
-Who has time to rewind things these days? -Very right. Yes.
-Sorry, Dejan.
But maybe it's time to find a new hobby.
And a new hat.
-If I want to convince these guys,
I will need some hard evidence.
-(Glass breaks)
-This will do.
-That doesn't belong to you, Dejan. -That doesn't belong to you, Dejan.
-Get back! I’ll expose you!
I’ll tell the whole world what you’re doing here!
-You shouldn’t have said that. -You shouldn’t have said that.
-Now, we can’t let you leave. -Now, we can’t let you leave.
-Flank him. -Flank him.
(Chanting) -You’ll never walk alone. -You’ll never walk alone.
(Group chanting) -You’ll never walk alone.
-Wait, I didn’t mean it. I saw nothing! -(Chanting)
-C’mon, who am I going to tell?! -(Chanting)
-Nobody believes me anyway, right? -(Chanting)
-(Chanting) -OK.
-OK, I’ll never stick my nose -(Chanting)
where it doesn’t belong again! -(Chanting)
-Please! I didn't mean it! -(Chanting)
-No!
-(Chewing)
-Woah, the eggs here are so good.
-Hello, comrades. It's me.
Dejan Lovren.
The Zenit Saint Petersburg
centre-back No. 6!
After a good night's sleep,
I now realize
there's no such thing as clones.
Anyways, enjoy your day!
-Uh… Did anyone else notice
Lovren has no belly button?
-Yeah.
He's a weirdo.
Cleaning up after everyone is exhausting.
I really need a holiday.
When booking my trip,
I sometimes wonder...
What else could possibly go wrong?
I mean, that probably won't happen.
But if my plans have to change,
it doesn't matter.
Because Hotels.com has flexible booking options.
Hotels.com. Because just in case.
-For more B/R Football,
like and subscribe!
-(Chanting) -Like and subscribe!