(soft soothing music) - Hey everybody,
happy Thursday, now today's topic is all about trauma.
But before I get into that, are you new to my channel?
Welcome, I put out videos on Mondays and on Thursdays,
so make sure you're subscribed and turn on those
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don't miss out.
But let's jump into this question
and the question is, Katie will my trauma last forever?
And how do I recover from multiple traumas
or how do you know which one to work on first?
Thought this was a great question
and something that we've kind of talked about off and on,
but the short answer is no,
you're trauma will not last forever.
Trauma responses will not last forever if,
and only if, we take the time to process them through.
Now I have an older video, like a few months ago,
where I talked about what I mean about the term process,
like what does that mean in therapy?
So I'll link that in the description.
Just know, for the sake of this video,
that process means, in short,
that we can work through something, talk through something,
so much so that it no longer gives us
an emotional charge, or an emotional response.
You know when we talk about basic things in our day,
people are like what'd you do today?
And you're like well, went I had breakfast
and then I had some coffee and then I met up with so and so,
we can talk about a traumatic experience just like that.
It has no emotional charge.
We're just like it happened and it sucked,
but anyways moving on.
And unfortunately, there is no way to completely
wipe our memory clean from traumas.
If I find out a way to do that,
trust me you'll be the first to know, that would be amazing,
it would change everybody's lives, would be wonderful.
We can't really do that and so we will still have some
memories or thoughts or triggers
things that pop up (snaps)
that trauma memory to our brain,
and we'll still think about it and it can still come up
and certain scents and sounds can still trigger that trauma
and make us think about it.
But, going back to what I just said before,
we will have processed through it so much that we're like
oh, yeah, that shitty thing that happened
anyways, back to work.
And we're able to just shift because it doesn't hold
that emotional charge, it's not keeping us frozen
in that state feeling the flight, fight, or freeze response.
It's not gonna do that to us,
we're not gonna have flashbacks
because we have put that story together,
we've processed it through and we filed it away.
And so even though something can pop up into our mind,
like all of a sudden we remember something,
it doesn't mean we have to ruminate on it,
we can just move right along.
And I've also talked about this a little bit,
but how trauma memories are stored
because I think this is really interesting
and this is why processing it through
with a therapist is so vitally important.
And I use this Inside Out analogy a lot,
I really just like it, you guys, I'm sorry.
I have to keep sharing it 'cause I like it,
but if you watch Inside Out,
you know that her memories are stored as marbles.
And so you put this marble together,
meaning we're piecing together all the stories of your day.
Let's say today, at the end of July 2018,
I'm putting this marble together
and I'm rolling it away in my memory and it's stored.
And then later when people are like,
oh what did you do a couple weeks ago?
And I'm like hmmm, I think about that time
I was at YouTube Space filming videos.
I can retrieve it, can look at my marble,
and I can be like oh, yeah, I remember that story,
I remember that narrative of that day.
But trauma is when I'm trying to put that marble together
and something happens and it slips and it falls
and it shatters all over the floor.
And that's why the shattering of all
those bits of memory from that day,
that narrative that we were telling ourselves,
when we're walking around in our mind,
meaning when we're doing work in therapy,
or when we're just going about our day,
we can smell something, we can see something,
we can feel something that reminds of that.
And we're like stepping on a splinter of that broken marble
and we're like ahhh, and it shoots us back into
that portion of that memory
and that's what the flashbacks are.
That's what the body memories are
is us stumbling upon that trauma memory.
And so going to therapy and talking it out
and processing it through is essentially like
a therapist is like your broom and dustpan
picking up all those splinters,
laying it out on the table with you,
and putting it together like a puzzle,
figuring out which each piece goes so we can seamlessly
put it back together into it's marble
that it was meant to be in and roll it away.
And that's why I believe,
I've talked about this in live streams and everything,
big Ts versus little Ts, meaning big traumas like
I was in this horrific car accident or I was abused horribly
and little Ts being like I was really scared
or I was a child and I wasn't sure,
my parents went through a divorce,
we had to move really quickly, all those things.
That's why I believe that when we work on one trauma,
meaning one big T or little T,
those splinters are all over the floor of our mind,
all the different traumas.
And so that's why I believe that if we're working
with a therapist and they're sweeping them up
and putting 'em in the dustpan, by working on one
we can often wipe out others at the same time.
And Alexa talked about this a
little bit in our series together.
I'll link our series in the description.
But she talked about how working on one type of trauma
or one big trauma can, in essence, clear out others.
And they're not 100% sure why it happens,
but that's what I hypothesize,
is that if we're sweeping up all the debris
from our traumas, and we're laying it out all on a table,
and we're putting the puzzle together,
by working on one and talking through one,
we might wipe out some others
'cause we've already done the housekeeping.
And I know that sounds really weird
and that might not make sense for you.
But working on one can wipe out others
and we know that to be true.
Like EMDR therapy, for instance,
that's what Alexa was referencing when she said that
working on one can wipe out others
because trauma's stored in a certain part of our brain.
And so we believe EMDR, I have a video about that,
I'll link that in the description to you
so you know kind of what that is.
So EMDR is a type of therapy where
we try to stimulate our brain.
The way that it does REM sleep in the middle of the night,
it's like processing through our day, they believe,
and so if we simulate that, make that happen during our day,
while we talk about our trauma,
we're giving our brain another time to process it through
so that it's no longer emotionally charged.
And so that's one type of trauma therapy that could help
if you feel like you have a lot of things to deal with
and you're not sure what to work on first,
EMDR could be helpful, but remember you have to be present.
You can't be in a dissociative state while in EMDR
'cause then it won't work.
But it just really gives your brain another opportunity
to work through a trauma.
And it could wipe out five of them while working on one.
Now obviously, like with all things mental health related,
everyone's gonna be different.
There are tons of types of therapy that can work.
If you struggle with a trauma there is basic talk therapy,
EMDR, schema therapy, somatic experiencing,
there's trauma-focused CBT, the options are endless.
So make sure that you find
a good fit with the right therapist
and start working through it as soon as possible.
But to answer the last portion of this question,
like where do we start if we have all this stuff
that's happened and we don't know what to do,
where do we even get started?
And truthfully, leave it up to the therapist,
about 50%, because the therapist will come in,
we will talk with you, and we'll meet you where you're at.
Meaning if you are feeling really maxed out,
talking about anything more than just
a couple of upsets sends you into dissociation.
The therapist shouldn't move any faster than that.
They shouldn't push you to the point
of dissociation all the time.
In order to work through trauma, we have to stay present.
And I'm just reiterating that
because it's really really important.
Otherwise, in essence, our trauma could last forever
because we haven't really gotten
the chance to work through it.
But with the right therapist, meeting us where we're at,
and challenging us just to the point
where it's uncomfortable, but it's not terrible,
we will slowly work through it.
And being honest with your therapist really really helps.
We can't help you if we don't know how you're feeling.
So letting them know when you feel like they're kinda
going easy on you, or they're being to harsh
and you're struggling to stay present.
All of that is really great information
because as a therapist it's always my job
to find out where you're at, what you're struggling with,
and push you along towards your goals.
So I'm gonna challenge you either way
but I'm gonna need to know where you're at
so that I don't overdo it and retraumatize you
or scare you away so you don't make another appointment.
I want to work with you and challenge you just enough
so that we can help you reach your goals and feel better
so that your trauma won't last forever.
And overall, just know that trauma work is hard.
I understand, I know it's super exhausting.
If you're in the middle of it,
or you're considering going to it,
make sure that you do it towards the end of your day
so that you can just possibly sleep or zone out afterwards.
I've had plenty of patients who do EMDR
and then just sleep the rest of the day
'cause it's so exhausting.
So know that that's normal.
(soft soothing music) And I know it's hard work.
But finding the right therapist
and the right style of therapy
can really really benefit you.
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I hope you found that helpful.
That was a great question and something
that I've been contemplating for awhile.
But as always, let me know in those comments down below
how did your trauma work go?
What have you experienced?
Have you worked through one trauma
and found that it wiped out others?
I would love to hear your experience
so share in those comments down below
and I will see you next time, bye.