AND NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY MY UBER DRIVER.
UBER IS THE EASIEST WAY TO ORDER A CAR RIDE AND PUT YOUR LIFE IN
THE HANDS OF A SKETCHY, BARELY REGULATED, POSSIBLY INSANE
DRIVER.
WE'RE GOING TO SHOW YOU THE BEGINNING-- THOUGH I NEVER HAD
ANY PROBLEMS WITH THEM IF THAT COMPANY WANTS TO SEND ME FREE
RIDES, GREAT.
WE'RE GOING TO SHOW YOU THE BEGINNING OF A TWEET ABOUT
SOMEONE'S UBER-CRAZY UBER DRIVER, AND FOR 250 POINTS ,YOU
HAVE TO FILL IN THE BLANK.
LET'S BEGIN.
HERE'S THE FIRST ONE: AM I RIGHT TO BE CONCERNED IF MY UBER
DRIVER JUST ASKED, BLANK.
DOUG.
>> ME TO IGNORE THE SOUNDS COMING FROM THE TRUNK.
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
COULD BE ANYTHING.
HARI.
>> ARE YOU ( BLEEP ) MY WIFE?
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
>> ANSWER THE QUESTION, CHRIS!
>> CHRIS: OH, UM, YES!
THE ACTUAL ANSWER WAS: "SO WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON
THE TALIBAN?"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NEXT ONE: MY UBER DRIVER WHO IS A 72-YEAR-OLD OVERWEIGHT
CAUCASIAN WOMAN WHO PICKED ME UP IN A VAN, LITERALLY JUST ASKED
ME, BLANK. HARI.
>> CAN YOU BELIEVE I'M DRIVING YOU?
IT'S A NEW WORLD.
>> CHRIS: POINTS. YEP.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
GRACE.
>> IF I WAS D.T.F..
>> CHRIS: POINTS.
>> THE CORRECT ANSWER TO THE 72-YAER-OLD CAUCASIAN WOMA WAS,
"DO YOU LISTEN TO TRAP?"
LAST ONE: MY UBERDRIVER IS SWEATY AS ( BLEEP ) AND HIS CAR
SMELLS LIKE BLANK AND BLANK.
GRACE?
>> TAINTS AND GO-GURT.
>> CHRIS: I WANT THAT TO BE THE NAME OF MY ALBUM.
POINTS.
THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS: THE CAR SMELLS LIKE --
"KOMBUCHA AND FEET."