so we are currently at myers
i'm gonna grab me a cart moment oh [ __ ] these are stuck
so on the way home we decided to take a little detour we're about to get a car wash
so she's getting the 15 one which is like top tier so i'm excited we have a little max air dry
okay under carriage wash away extreme shine wax okay we are entering the tunnel inside joke
oh my god that's the sunroof y'all
why are we shaking like a tornado
okay you guys favorite part of my vlog these are the ones i've already done this is a new one this
is another one i did a little flower moment lines don't really like this one i have no
idea what's happening a little signature moment and this one sucks as well last but not least
we have some circles so in one of the last vlogs i hauled this lint like garbage it's actually
magnetic and then this cute dryer sheet storage so you put the dryer sheets in there obviously
and then you just pull them out i'm actually about to do a load of laundry right now kind
of dreading it really i can't one reach my arm in and bend down and grandma because my stomach is in
the way okay you guys so i'm having a little night snack i have some comfy clothes on says nope love
that so i'm about to try a brie spreadable cheese wedge i'm gonna try it with one of these organic
garlic naan crackers so it's a little taste test moment so that's what it looks like okay
wait a minute
wow that was so good
also i'm gonna have a couple of kalamata i already say it olives love me an olive moment
my girlfriend doesn't eat these so i just like eat them out of the
jar happy dance happy dance so i just did a scratch off i did a couple of them
um i won two dollars on this one three dollars on this one and i won 45 on this one so i spent 10
dollars for this one okay wait the lighting makes my hands look so dark okay wait a minute wait baby
can you come here real quick because people have been saying how like dirty my hands are
it's literally the lighting because my hands does not look like this in person do my hands look like
that in person yes yes yes yes or no no they don't look that dark in person no like at all who's here
i don't really think they look that dark on video they look darker than in real life they're not
that dark so they don't look like this in person okay i just have to like have you
repeat that over and over because i was like why does everyone say that but i get it now because
i'm looking and i see it but anyways okay so i spent 10 on this and i 145 so high profit so
nothing like a little bit of throwback so i was on facebook and i saw this photo of me this is from
when i was 11. i was in foster care i was visiting my parents this is a little room that we used to
be in to visit once a week and then i was like you know what here's a baby photo of me look how cute
i'm just cheesing look how adorable though okay you guys so i figured for the end of this vlog
i will react to a few more of my struggles if you guys don't know in my vlogs i'm randomly throwing
it in where i react to some of my old videos and currently we are reacting to struggles being me
part one so let's continue off where we left off i hear this a lot from people
that are bigger they can't express themselves with their own raw true style like they would
if they were smaller and i complete this is totally true 100 true because
it's like the style that i would have if i was like at the size that i want to be
it would be very different i feel like so i kind of just like make it work like today i'm wearing
really cute overalls um i'm probably gonna start a new vlog for this video so you guys are gonna
see them on me um you know i do have some cute clothing but it's like i can't express myself
in the way that i want of course i could probably find clothing like that that i would wear if i was
skinny but it's like it wouldn't look good on me i do feel like now i am a little bit darker i do
prefer to wear like dark darker clothing um maroons you know things like that my question
is like would that change like once i lose weight like i don't know i also really like wearing like
their clothing with like a pop of pink as you guys can tell i'm doing that now sometimes i'll like
find something that fits me i'm like i want one in every size every freaking design just give
it to me yeah i like obviously not every size i think i messed up i meant to say every color
but like i definitely remember this like back then i especially on toured i would literally buy
everything on forward um and now i'm very very particular about what i buy um like it's just
so weird to me like i used to wear a lot of like floral and like grandma-esque attire and i do not
go down that route anymore it's hard to explain um i do have a few floral things but it has like some
really cute mesh up top but like i feel like my style has actually drastically changed um i know
right now you guys can't really tell like i i look frumpy which i totally get that but like
oh it fits so let's buy every color or oh my god torrent has my size let's buy one of everything
it doesn't even matter what it looks like that's how i used to be like if you go back and watch my
tour halls you can definitely tell but versus how they are now you can tell that i have sort of like
a niche that i am going for um yeah anyways okay i'm rumbling i can't just go into walmart or like
tj maxx and be like okay i need to buy me a scale no this is a true fact because even just recently
i forgot where i was but i happened to just like pass the scales and i was like i wonder if they
have skills that like i could like stand on and would work and no like every scale at stores like
only go up to like 300 pounds or so which is a little frustrating because you know this is the
usa we are a fat country realistically there are people my size in this country who need to be able
to weigh themselves i don't know i find it really weird that like scales are not accommodating
to people my size where it's like people my size need a scale because we need to lose the weight we
need to keep track of that progress so i do think it's kind of ironic um the scale that i use now
is an industrial scale um i used to have a talking skill which was around like 80 i'm thinking about
getting that talking skill again because i know you guys liked it and plus it's like easy easier
so it's like you guys can hear my weight and stuff like that yeah i just don't understand why the
scales that accommodate people my size are more expensive i i don't get it literally being bigger
is more expensive so number six that's very true and it goes in every sort of way like it's even
clothing is more expensive like turret is so expensive which makes sense because like
you're using more material for said items so like if there was a small t-shirt and then like a 5x
t-shirt it makes sense that the 5x is a little bit more expensive because it's like more material
that you're using and it takes more time to make the clothing which i totally understand but
it's definitely true being bigger is more expensive the number one most painful thing i can
do is wash dishes and the reason why this makes me so happy is i do not have this problem anymore
yes my bad like my back does hurt sometimes when i'm washing the dishes but back then everything
was painful for me and now i can do like chores around the house and i can keep going and going
and going not only is it a responsibility but i think it's kind of like a hobby for myself
like i thoroughly enjoy cleaning and maybe it's because i couldn't do as much cleaning as i want
wanted in the past because i couldn't because my weight because it hurt because i couldn't breathe
but now i don't have those issues so that's really exciting to hear this cleaning out
the litter box hurts my back just not anymore when it comes to the litter box
i do have a little bit of pain but it's because of my hysterectomy my pelvis um i know that there's
scar tissue like on the inside of me so sometimes bending a lot does cause a little pelvis pain but
that's literally just because of my hysterectomy it's not like weight related or anything but yeah
i just i love watching the struggle stuff because it's like i see progress and i love that for me i
my breathing is still bad obviously like hi i'm still morbidly obese super mortally obese like
excuse me but back then my breathing was so bad and it's like nowhere near that bad anymore like
my stamina has improved so much so it just makes me like yeah i'm proud of how far i've come but
okay so that's a perfect place to end it but yeah i agree with my past self like i think i got like
i was embarrassed because my breathing but then i also wasn't like secondhand embarrassed for the
people like watching my breathing i don't know how to explain what i'm trying to say but like
yeah i'm just glad son is bad hi baby girl hi okay i'm gonna go give her attention
i'm gonna start another vlog i hope you guys enjoyed this one and i'll see you next one bye
birdie what are you doing
oh did i interrupt you come to mommies
and put it off
set me free why do i baby why do i