Spider-Man far from home is just around the corner, and while we’re excited to see Tom
Holland’s Peter Parker face off against some of the heroes less prominent foes - we’re
taking Hydro Man and Molten Man - we can’t help but wonder in the future what other obscure
or smaller villains of the web slingers might make it up onto the big screen.
So today, we’re jumping into hypothetical land and counting down our picks for the top
10 Spider-Man villains too weak for the mcu.
Most of thee villains are utterly ridiculous, with a pretty large percentage of them appearing
in Spider-Man’s comics after the Secret Wars event when Parker donned the black symbiote
costume briefly (before it was officially a symbiote, a result of fan backlash for the
costume change).
Some of these villains actually stand a chance of making into the MCU if adapted in a creative
way.
And some do have some pretty nifty abilities, we’ll give them that.
But most of them will just make you chuckle.
So with that in mind, let’s get to it!
10 Chtylok Chtylok is a very strange character who appeared
in Sensational Spider-Man volume 1 issue 13 in 1997, and technically, was more of an opponent
of the Hulk’s than Spidey’s.
It is a 25 foot tall half chicken half cow creature that lives in Antarctic, just outside
of the Savage Land.
It used to be worshiped a millennia ago, but went into hibernation.
After a hole in the ozone layer caused the ice around the Savage Land to melt, it woke
up, and somehow got to Monster Island, where it fought the Hulk.
Spider-Man along with several other heroes on a SHIELD sponsored mission are entangled
in all of this after they discover that Roxxon Oil was behind the ice melting faster and
releasing the likes of Chtylok and other creatures, including our next number-
9 Stegron Compared to that half chicken half cow abomination,
Stegron has had more longevity in Marvel comics, funny enough.
He is also know as the dinosaur man, a dude named Vincent Stegron who was hired by SHIELD
to study the DNA of dinosaurs from the Savage Land.
Inspired by the experiment that had turned his colleague doctor Curt Connors into the
Lizard, Stegron attempted a similar experiment but with stolen Dino DNA which turned him
into a semi humanoid stegosaurus like creature.
He could command dinosaurs, and tried to over run NYC with dinosaur buddies from the Savage
Land that spider-man and friends had to help stop.
During the encounter we mentioned in our previous number, he actually ended up aiding Spider-Man
rather than fighting the hero when he realized that they were trying to save his home of
the Savage Land.
8 Typeface Typeface aka Gordon Thomas first appeared
in Peter Parker Spider-Man volume 2 issue 23 in 2000.
Thomas fought in the Vietnam War; a war that took the life of his brother Joey.
When he returned to the US, he wasn’t the same; his wife left him and took their son
with her.
Gordon kept on living, becoming a signsmith until he was laid off.
This was the straw that broke Gordon’s back.
He decided he would become a super villain, taking on the name Typeface, and using a grease
pencil to write letters all over his face, including a big R that stood for retribution.
He began committing vandalism, which caught Spider-Man’s attention.
Typeface would fight off the web slinger with giant letters.
He escaped, went back to his apartment, changed the R on his head to an A instead for annihilation,
and decided to take revenge on the dude who was responsible for him being fired; a guy
named George Finch.
Spider-Man intervened, and actually ended up helping Spider-Man fight off another foe
called Spider-Hybrid.
Except, George Finch wasn’t cool with Typeface; he felt humiliated by the lowly villain and
decided to use the bombs he had crafted to kill Gordon.
For a long time, it was believed that Typeface had died in an explosion caused by Finch,
but he would later become a vigilante, waging a war with a small time gang and leaving notes
for the police inspired by the web slinger that read “compliments from your friendly
neighbourhood typeface.”
7 Slyde Slyde has to be one of the most ridiculous
spider-man villains out there.
First appearing in the 1986 The Amazing Spider-Man issue 272, Slyde is a dude named Jalome Teacher,
a chemical engineer who created a non stick coating that could be applied to literally
anything.
He was fired from his job, so he decided to use his invention for his own personal gain
by robbing banks.
He created a body suit that would let him slide around on any surface.
While that sounds absolutely ridiculous, it did manage to elude Spider-Man briefly, since
Peter’s webs couldn’t grab hold of him.
6 Big Wheel So yes, we put Big Wheel on our list of villains
too powerful for the MCU.
And yes, we’ve included him on this list of villains too weak for the MCU.
Really, it’s because he’s a baffling and perplex character.
Big Wheel is a dude named Jackson Weele, a business man who embezzled money from the
company he worked at.
He was afraid of getting caught, so he hired another criminal, a guy who called himself
Rocket Racer, to steal the evidence that could potentially incriminate him.
But, Rocket Racer, being the oppertunist he is, took advantage of the situation and blackmailed
Weele with it.
Jackson ended up trying to commit suicide because of it, but Rocket Racer prevents him
from doing it.
Actually.
Being super humiliated, Weele heads over to the Tinkerer who he gets to build him a giant
wheel that can climb up buildings, that has Waldo arms and a bunch of guns attached to
it.
Jackson then calls himself Big Wheel and hunts down Rocket Racer for revenge.
Seeing a massive wheel rolling around the city firing off guns catches the attention
of our friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.
But before the web slinger can even intervene, Jackson looses control of his wheel and drops
into the Hudson River, and Spider-Man has to save him, which he doesn’t; everyone
just thinks Jackson is dead.
Flash forward to twenty years later, turns out Jackson survived, and with his Big Wheel,
he hunts down Spider-Man, informing the hero that he survived and ended up in jail for
embezzlement.
He was now working through the twelve step program and one of his steps was to help Spider-Man.
Out of pity, Spider-Man lets him follow him around all day, but realizes he’s not cut
out to be a hero so instead, he now uses his big wheel in demolition derbies.
5 Kangaroo There have been two villains who have operated
under the mantle of Kangaroo in marvel comics.
The first is the one that lands a spot on this list; he first debuted in the amazing
Spider-Man issue 81 back in 1970, and his name was Frank Oliver; a fellow who was born
in Sydney Australia who studied kangaroos, growing obsessed with them.
He would eat, sleep, travel and live amongst the kangaroos, and even developed the ability
to leap like them, jumping at heights that rivalled their own.
He decided to become a boxer with his new found abilities, and during one match, he
severely injured his foe, and ended up facing criminal charges.
He fled to the US, where he was detained for not having a passport.
Rather than deal with being deported, he fled yet again, embracing a life of crime, calling
himself the Kangaroo.
He got caught up in some business in which he stole a vial containing a deadly bacteria
that Spider-Man had to take care of, while the Kangaroo was just bummed about not stealing
something more valuable.
Later on, Doctor Jonas Harrow would augment Kangaroo with jets that enhanced his leaping
abilities, along with popping an implant into his brain to control him.
When the Kangaroo fought spider-man, Doctor Harrow began to control him, forcing him to
steal a radioactive isotope.
Spider-Man warned him against doing it, but Kangaroo broke into the lab where it was located,
only to be reduced to a pile of ashes upon being exposed to the isotope’s radiation.
So to sum up Kangaroo - he’s an Australian cliche, had no super powers, did get super
powers but they were lame, then died.
4 Mindworm Mindworm is a mutant character with an oversized
cranium.
He was naturally extremely intelligent, but he accidentally killed his mother through
his unconscious vampiric psionic feeding.
This caused his father to go into emotional shock which ultimately led to his death, suicide
via running in front of a car.
This was incredibly traumatic for Mindworm, aka William Turner, who loved both his parents
dearly.
He also had no idea that he was the one responsible at that point in time.
After his parents deaths, he ended up in an orphanage, where he was bullied and called
Mindworm.
When he grew up and got himself an apartment in NYC, he would secretly feed off of the
emotions of his neighbours, not enough to hurt them, but just enough to satiate himself.
Spider-Man crossed paths with him when he had to move in with Flash Thompson, who lived
near by Turner.
Peter was able to resist Mindworm’s feeding, to the extent that Mindworm actually attacked
him physically.
Peter easily knocked him out, and Mindworm was arrested.
He would later seek vengeance but learned that Peter had lost his parents too, and decided
to turn to good.
But it gets tragic from here on out - Mindworm would be taken advantage of by criminals wanting
to use his abilities, and eventually developed severe mental illnesses, to the point where
he became homeless.
Not wanting to injure others, he would often get beat up on the streets, and was eventually
killed by a street gang.
Yikes.
3 Hypno Hustler Hypno-Hustler is a dude name Antoine Delsoin
who first appeared in the comics in The Spectaculare Spider-Man issue 24 in 1978.
He was the lead singer of a band called the Mercy Killers.
One night, when the band was playing at a club called Beyond Forever, Hypno Hustler
decided to get greedy and rob the club’s safe.
The club’s manager catches him in the act, and what does our musically hustling friend
do?
He ends up using his hypnotic equipment on the manager.
He likes the affects of it so much that when they play the show he and has band use their
hypnotizing equipment on the audience as a means to rob the audience as well.
Peter Parker just so happens to be at the club at that time, and ends up changing into
his Spider-Man costume to stop them.
He removes Hypno Hustler’s headphones, causing the villain to be a victim of his own hypnosis.
Which is pretty darn hilarious.
He appeared a few other times after that, briefly, but his claim to fame really was
just failing hard.
2 Plantman Plantman is kind of like the dollar store
knock off of DC’s Poison Ivy, created in 1963 and debuting in Strange Tales volume
1 issue 113.
He’s actually a villain who has crossed paths with many marvel heavy hitters.
Plantman aka Samuel Smithers was a botanist who developed a device that could communicate
with plants; something that got him laughed out of the scientific community.
During a freak lightning storm, his plant ray gun was transformed into a took that could
control and animate plant life.
He fought against the human torch, Iron Man, the defender; the list goes on.
But he was always sort of a one-off kind of villain.
He can create plant simuloids of himself, which are plant clones of sorts that he uses
for mercenary endeavours.
In Marvel Team Up issue 71, he would finally crosses paths with Spider-Man alongside Falcon,
with the duo discovering an exotic plant breeding nursery where they took on one of his simuloids.
He’s defeated when Falcon’s winged pal swoops in and grabs his plant ray gun, making
him defenceless.
Then, another time, when Spdier-Ma and Power Man Luke Cage encountered the villain, he
threw coconuts at them.
Yeah, seems like he might not be the right kind of stuff for the MCU.
1 Humbug Described on the cover of his debut issue
as the most-off beat Spidey villain yet, Humbug was so bad at being a villain that he later
became a superhero and a member of Heroes for Hire.
First hitting the scene in 1986’s Web of Spider-Man issue 19, the character, also known
as Buck Mitty was a entomology professor at Empire State University.
His funding was cut off, and desperate to fight for the value of research on the inset
world, he ended up designing his Humbug costume in order to steal to provide money for his
research.
He was wildly unprepared when it came to actually carrying out his robberies though, and Spider-Man
foiled his plans, turning his powers back onto him, which landed him in jail.
When he got out, he tried it again, and fell out a window.
Spider-Man had to save him, but Humbug got away by blowing up some cars.
Spider-Man was able to track him down to his lab, where he had taken a woman hostage.
In order to have Mitty free the hostage, Spider-Man grabbed a jar containing some of Mitty’s
specimens - a jar of cockroaches - which he then declared to the villain, “let the girl
go, Humbug!
Or these roaches die screaming!”
Humbug surrounded.
Humbug would return after that, too, with Spider-Man stopping him from stealing a rare
scarab amulet from a museum, and Deadpool getting involved, dousing Mitty in honey and
throwing a jar of South American fire ants at him.
It almost killed him until Mitty communicated with the ants and made them a deal, despite
the ants having already eaten the outer layer of his skin.
There we have it friends!
What other spider-Man villains do you think should have made our list?
Give us a shout in those comments below and let us know your thoughts and feels!
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