hey so I saw your at the last Jedi review and I agree with you on all
points loved the film but I've been seeing heaps and heaps of people piling
hate on it since it came out and I feel really irrationally angry about it all
which isn't helpful so do you have any tips for dealing with toxic fandoms? so
thank you anon I'm glad you liked the review I feel you on the irrational
anger and yes I am here to help. to start here is my very basic advice which is
going to sound very obvious: stay away from places that you know are going to
make you angry. you would be surprised how much time I spend doing things which
I know are going to be bad for me buying supermarket pizza or browsing Twitter
choose to do something better: go read all your bookmarked fanfic or learn how
to twirl a lightsaber or talk to your friends maybe meet them in person maybe
send them a nice long email if they live in Chile maybe you could post them a
piece of dead tree with your handwriting on it the possibilities are endless
the point being it'll die down soon enough and the toxicity will move on to the
next outrage which may or may not be Star Wars related I mean it might take a
couple of weeks it might take a month but pretty soon something else will draw
the attention of angry people who like to be angry on the internet and then
everyone who likes the thing will get some peace. but be assured anon you are
doing a far healthier thing psychologically by focusing on the
things which you like rather than the things which you don't particularly if
the things that you don't like are not actually things that you can change for
example I stopped watching Doctor Who when I stopped having fun maybe I'll
pick it up again soon maybe I won't but it doesn't really bother me that much if
I like the new season that I'll watch it if I don't don't I won't but no harm no
foul either way there are plenty of other good things in the world and my
identity is not tied up in having to like one particular piece of media
besides focusing on terrible things which you hate is just going to make you
angry and particularly in the case of media which already exists it's going to
make you feel powerless and angry which is not a good combination. I tend to find
the bigger the fandom the more toxic it is or rather the more toxic the toxic
parts are if you have 10 people in your fandom and one of them is a jerk then
basically no one's going to talk to them and so their toxicity is contained if
you have a hundred people and ten of them are jerks then they're going to feed off
each other's jerkishness the bigger the fandom the worse it can feel and Star
Wars is a huge fandom. that being said the signs of the toxic fandom are the
same regardless of size: entitlement shaming harassment
doxing you know the drill hell hath no fury like a Steven Universe
fan who thinks that harassment death threats and rape threats are the things
that you should send to a teenage girl because she drew a cartoon character in
a style that you did not approve of. there is no reasoning with this and yes
most people grow out of it though some people don't, but you can't make a person
grow out of it. you can't make them ashamed of it
they probably will be in ten years but then again they might not. so here's my
other useful piece of advice on fandom: keep it small and I don't mean just be
in small fandoms no I mean be in small fandom groups. go find people who love
the thing in the way that you love the thing and cultivate actual friendship
relationships with them not in a Mean Girls kind of way but in a: you like me
and I like you and we like the thing so let's talk about it kind of way. if you
can find one fan friend per fandom who you like and genuinely enjoy spending
time with then you are pretty much quids in. if you can find half-dozen that's
just about perfect. make friends with other fans who are good people and be a
good person yourself. after all if you want a shiny beautiful sparkly fandom
then we need to not be part of the problem. I'm pretty sure that everyone
feels like screaming obscenities into the void every now and again well I mean
most people do, but remember those are other real people over there. be your
best self in fandom hang out with other people who do likewise. disagree with
other people all you like, vigorously if you like, but do it respectfully and with
emphasis on the fact that you still like them as a person even if you disagree
with their opinions. and for the love of all that's sensible don't engage with
the screamers unless being extremely calm and reasonable in the face of
unmitigated fury is entertaining for you. I remember it used to be entertaining
for me. that was a while ago. it is likely that will grow out of it in which case
they might be a reasonable person to be around in ten years or they might not in
which case they'll just be miserable for the rest of their lives and there is not
much you can do about that. but for your own peace of mind
anon choose to be joyful and if that means blacklisting a tag for a couple of
weeks or sticking your fingers in your ears and singing the force theme or just
writing terrible fanfic instead of reading tumblr consider it a small
nice to pay for a life in fandom that you actually like you loved The Last
Jedi I love The Last Jedi enjoy that feeling it's a good feeling you're
allowed to enjoy it. oh and also if you want to join a non toxic fandom the
Zombies Run fandom is quite small but also full of people who do regular
exercise and so they are supremely chill and the Thunderbirds Are Go fandom is
also extremely chill I'm small and friendly if you want to tell your fandom
horror stories in the comments then you can most certainly do so especially if
they are entertaining but if you want to leave your really good and positive
fandom stories in the comments - that's even better because joy is a good and
underrated thing and we should strive for more of it in our lives
thanks for the asking on I hope this was in some way helpful and I'll see you all
in the next episode
you