Meet the Austin Healey Sport Club.
They like tweeds and beards and beer with soil floating in it.
And they think car design peaked in, ooh, about 1968.
Meet Absy and his crew.
They like hoodies and trainers and Argos jewellery.
And they think the ideal number of speakers in a car is about 68.
These two groups are the chalks and the cheeses in the world
of the differing car cultures.
We've brought them together to settle an argument.
I think this modern obsession with horsepower is absolutely idiotic.
The simple, light, well-sorted classic will be more than a match
for some youth car with 5,000 horsepower and a big stereo.
Yes. And I think the opposite.
So, the only way to settle this is with a duel and that duel will take place here,
at the famous Prescott Hill Climb course in Gloucestershire.
It's one of the most prestigious tracks in Britain,
the motor-racing equivalent of Vera Lynn.
And here comes my car now.
I'm sort of guessing that's not your kind of thing.
-No. -No, not at all.
What colour is that? National Health Service green I suspect.
If we had heavy snow, it'd be good for clearing that.
Well, you can mock, beard brigade, but this Peugeot 306 is
one of the finest modified cars in the country,
with over £26,000 worth of mods, including three TVs
a PlayStation and over 54 inches of subs.
And now, representing a time,
when subs were something we used to fight the Germans...
behold the majesty of the Austin Healey... which has stalled.
This is a 1961 frog-eye Sprite.
-That's what you've got to beat. -Marvellous.
Does it go any lower than that?
No, the suspension doesn't move. It's fixed.
Oh, okay.
-Old... -Exactly. Old-fashioned.
In this battle of arthritis against acne,
it's Hammond's group who have the power advantage.
That's a three litre V6, roughly about 200 rate.
That's probably about five times what he's got over there.
Possibly.
But what do you reckon nought to 60 time is?
-About 6.2, I reckon. -That's all right.
You've probably got a more powerful stereo than he has car.
By contrast, the geriatric Healey sports a modest 130 horsepower,
almost 100 less than the Peugeot.
What about the top speed?
Well, again, the gearing would probably bring that down to about 95.
That's not so good to be honest.
And the classic car boys were worried about
the fearsome brakes on the max power car.
Still, we didn't win two World Wars by standing around moaning.
So, some serious fettling began to make the Healey lighter and more agile.
-Marvellous. -Tea.
-Thank you very much! -Thank you.
Meanwhile, over at the youth centre, things weren't so hectic.
You've got four-screen. This is the best bit.
It's a colour camera as well.
Now, this isn't necessarily going to help us go faster.
Not really.
Both cars were ready for their timed runs up the hill.
We just needed an independent driver.
Someone who follows no car culture,
who has no age, who has no friends to text and no real ale preference.
Not a completely convincing start do you mind me saying that?
-Sounds good, though. -Sounds great.
Sure enough it was quick on the straights,
but this mobile Halfords paid the price on the corners.
It's a bit James Bond film, isn't it?
59!
-That's really good. -Not bad.
That was enough to worry the Healey chaps.
So, are you going to wind yours up and give it a shot?
That's a good time, but not unbeatable.
So, the gauntlet's thrown down for the antique roadshow.
That weight... It really did leap away.
Yes, this isn't the coolest the Stig has ever looked,
but in the Healey he was in good shape through the corners.
Oh! Getting close.
The Healey blitzed the last two turns, but would it beat 59.26?
Yes, the beards had won it by a whisker.
Fair enough.
Age, experience, tweed and a little bit of facial hair is what
it takes to win at Hill Climb.
I know which one I'd rather go home in, the one with the roof and windscreen.