Donald Trump recently made news with his 19-second handshake
of Japanese Prime Minister, Shinzo Abe.
I'm going to break down some of the more unique aspects of Donald Trump's handshake
and in this video, we're also going to cover the more standard business handshake
which many people habitually do incorrectly
creating an impression of weakness or over-compensating insecurity.
But first, if you haven't seen it, here is Trump's 19-second handshake.
What did they say?
"Please, look at me."
Alright, thank you, press.
I said that this handshake has some unique properties
but it's actually not unique for Donald Trump
because it contains a number of his signature moves.
I'm not going to speculate on why he does these but they absolutely do exist.
First off, the yank —
this off-balances the other person
and likely makes that person reluctant to take control of the interaction
and probably makes them a little suspicious of Donald Trump.
Check out another example here...
Thank you to Mike Pence. Thank you, everybody.
...then you've got the wrist bend and lift.
Twisting the wrist this way is easy enough for the person doing it
but it puts the person on the other end in a very uncomfortable position
and it likely has the same effect as the yank
namely that it makes the other person less likely to take control of the interaction
and probably a bit more suspicious of Trump.
Here it is in a different context.
And lastly, we see the hand tap.
What's interesting here is that while both the yank and the wrist bend and lift
are uncomfortable, the hand tap is relatively nice
and it's more likely to be perceived as good-natured
but when you've just yank someone towards you and crank their wrist,
the hand tap becomes more of a pacifying behavior
almost as if to say, "No hard feelings,"
which matches what Trump said after the handshake —
something that didn't get much coverage.
Listen closely.
Alright, thank you, press.
Thank you, everybody.
Strong hands, when you...
(Shinzo laughs)
Did you hear Trump say, "Strong hands"?
This is a classic Trump double-bind.
If Abe accepts the compliment and thinks, "Yes, I do have strong hands,"
he's just accepted that the yanking didn't happen.
After all, he has strong hands so no one would be able to whip him around.
But if Abe thinks, "No, I don't have strong hands. You just nearly ripped my arm off,"
he's accepted that he has weak hands and probably should have done more
to prevent himself from being yanked around in the first place.
It creates a fascinating mental trap and it's one that we've discussed
in earlier videos on Trump which I will link to, again, in the description.
But the sum of it here is that Trump is able to pull a physically dominant move
while verbally complimenting Abe
and in some cases, this could position him as the dominant force in an interaction
without too much resistance from the other person
but all that only works if the person mentally accepts the double-bind
which isn't a guarantee
and if there are no news cameras around, much more importantly
because when there are cameras, people start to prepare for that same tactic.
Watch out how Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau
braces himself against Trump's shoulder and resist two attempted yanks.
The lesson here is that when you pull covert power moves
whether they're conscious or not, word is likely to get out
and it may wind up backfiring in the long run.
The good news for you is that in 29 years of my life,
I have never come across someone who shook hands like Donald Trump does
so you're unlikely to need to physically brace yourself against someone's shoulder
but I promise you will come across all manner of weird handshakes
and some may even be your fault
which is why I thought it would be good to cover how to shake hands properly.
This may seem obvious but it's very simple to mess up
and, who knows, maybe Donald Trump will even watch this
and we can avoid this kind of stuff happening again.
Just to be clear, the shake that I'm talking about in this video
is the business handshake — not the fist bump, not the bro hug —
maybe those will be in another video.
For this, the mentality is that handshakes are not your chance to prove how dominant you are.
There's a chance to build trust.
The goal is not for your body language to show raw power
but to show that you are warm, assertive, and not hiding anything.
So don't treat it as a dominance contest
or else you're starting off in an adversarial frame which is not great for business.
Second off, in a professional business environment, at least in America,
this is the most common greeting for people of all levels both male and female.
Obviously, you have a whole lot more options in social settings
but this is the go-to greeting at work.
Now that that is said for the mechanics,
the biggest issue is not knowing whether or not you should be shaking someone's hand.
Check out this video for an example.
Look at this lucky policeman who gets to shake hands with the president of the United States.
Oh, and here comes the prime minister of th—
No.
Gordon Brown winds up looking kind of like a jerk
because he didn't take that guy's hand
so the safe bet is to always shake someone's hand the first time you meet them
or if handshaking has already started amongst that group —
don't be the guy sitting out not shaking hands.
And you communicate that you're ready to shake someone's hand
simply by extending your hand
usually two to three steps before you get close enough to reach that person.
Wait any longer like Gordon Brown did in this clip and it could be confusing.
So it might look something like this.
Good morning.
The second and very important piece with regards to mechanics
is to keep your fingers fairly straight on the approach.
The problem with curled fingers is that it doesn't give the other person a good angle
to connect the web between their thumb and forefinger with yours
combine this with the lack of tension in your muscles,
after all it is tension that forces your hand open,
and it means that you'll wind up giving them the dead fish handshake
where they can only grab your fingers.
If this consistently happens to you, uncurl your fingers.
You want to make it easy for the other person to connect the web between your thumb
and index finger and the uncurled fingers make that much, much easier.
Merkel does much better in this clip.
Third, come in with your hand at a vertical angle —
this typically requires you to face the person with whom you're shaking hands.
If you find people are often grabbing your fingers,
it's usually because you are tilting your hands palm downward
and not giving a big enough target for the web of your hands.
Ignore the awkwardness of the double shake in this next clip
and just watch how the fact that Trudeau is facing forward
makes it hard for him to give Obama his hand at a neutral angle
creating a finger shake.
Another issue that causes bad handshakes
is when you start shaking a hand before you've actually connected hands
and this is most likely to happen in groups when you've shaken a bunch of hands
and your hand is just in shake mode before you're actually touching people's hands.
It looks like this.
This is a Key and Peele skit
but the handshake here is actually natural and the point stands.
If you want that handshake to connect, you need to touch webs first,
grasp the hand, and then shake.
It's particularly important to keep in mind in groups
because sometimes that hand just keeps going.
When you do it right, it looks like this.
Lastly, give the hand a squeeze only after the web of your hand connects.
If you squeeze before that connection, you will wind up just gripping fingers
and this is what bone crusher guys tend to do and it does not make you well-liked.
Here's an example of that.
Finally, once you've got their hand in yours,
give two to three shakes and you're good to go.
In some, decide that you're shaking hands and make that clear by extending your hand
two to three steps before you arrive in their space.
If you're forced to close quarters with someone before shaking hands,
stick your hand out decisively so that they see it and don't ignore you.
You may even have to gently grab their other shoulder
if they don't see your hand the first time.
And then, keep your hand at a vertical angle with your fingers uncurled,
hit the web of their hand with the web of yours before grabbing and you're set.
And perhaps the most important thing,
if no one shakes your hand because they don't see it,
you can always just do it yourself.
And if you're curious about the other elements of a great first impression
that are not just shaking hands,
we've set up a video that covers four things that you'll want to keep in mind.
If you want to check that video out, click the button on the screen now.
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By the way, Happy Carnival.