Football became a part of my life because of my father.
He's from England – Dagenham boy, West Ham supporter –
which was a bit odd obviously with the Millwall connection.
But he's a massive football fan and being English,
it's a natural progression within the family.
So growing up as a kid I used to wake up in the early hours of the morning
and see flickerings in the hallway of the TV.
I used to hear the commentator shouting ‘Goal’, or something like that,
and I used to creep down the hallway and could always see the Premier League on.
They had phoned a few scouts and said that they had this young Aussie –
eager, ready to trial – and I just needed the opportunity.
When I had the phone call I had been training
down the park for hours and hours by myself,
literally just kicking a ball – running
up and down from 18-yard box to 18-yard box
because that was my run I knew as a midfielder.
I had to have a big engine, and I had the call and I ended up going to Millwall.
I basically had that trial,
and I just left everything on the pitch for that two weeks.
It was just a whole new experience, and something that I had to learn very quickly
– that on the pitch I had to protect the ball and keep things simple,
and try and get integrated as soon as possible.
I felt the wrath of it very early because going to Millwall – very physical
– young Australian kid.
Off the pitch I was very quiet; very reserved; very polite;
always trying to do extra.
But then on the pitch I knew that I had to switch character
very quickly so I could survive in that environment.
Millwall made me. I am what I am today because of what I learned there.
I learned my trade.
You talk about Keith Stevens, a player that I played with.
I learned very early on what
a tackle was after going into a challenge with him, just in training, and I remember
my reaction after he caught me – to go directly back and,
when given the opportunity with the ball,
to also let him feel the same sort of character I am on the pitch.
So he knew also what he was dealing with; even though I was 17.
He had a massive influence on my career.
Still someone I speak to regularly, that we spend a lot of time with.
He lives in Australia.
The key was going to a club that gave me the opportunity.
When you look at the players, Neil Harris
and all these sorts of players that we had, we had
the best opportunity because the manager needed to play young kids,
and we were also enthusiastic, and we wanted to do well for the club.
In the end we had some amazing times,
but we also just really enjoyed getting in the changing room,
and making sure we left everything on the pitch.
It definitely gave us the taste for the big occasion –
playing at Wembley before they knocked it down.
We played against Wigan, and this was a team of boys –
young, enthusiastic, committed – that were fearless.
We were fearless. We knew every time that we went
on to the pitch together that we could create something;
we could make something special happen
Lo and behold, that game – it was probably one step too far, unfortunately,
even though we had the chance to win it.
You look back, and it's an amazing memory for us as kids.
I look at pictures now and think I'm so blessed to have had that opportunity.
But it's just one of those things. To have that opportunity so early
– it helped me mature even though I was still so young,
[and] to be able to take that forward and then try
and help the club do bigger things, and look for bigger things.
Promotion's really special.
Especially at Millwall; especially for the fans;
especially for the financial situation the club was in.
Also, we always had to wheel and deal to sign players;
we were always striving to keep our players.
It was always just trying to hang on and stay.
To keep those players; to win promotion; to try and get to the next levels
and to continue to do that.
Unfortunately in the past we've lost players, including myself.
But it's massive to get promoted at that age, because it sets your level –
it sets the bar of what you want as a player.
It helps teach you the ingredients of what
it needs within a changing room to be successful.
I'll never forget that moment, because
it definitely helped form part of who I am today.
When we got to the Championship I knew that was my platform
after getting promoted.
I knew that the levels were there.
I'd waited so long for this opportunity and I was more
than happy to stay in the Championship – I was so excited for that season.
Being a season where I got 10-plus goals,
then being able to be more of a leader –
more of someone that the team or the club could turn to and rely on –
was the responsibility that I really liked.
I like fighting against the odds of trying to get promoted again,
because no-one ever thought that we'd even get close
to having an opportunity to get promoted to
the Premier League, but deep down inside my mind I was like:
“Well, why not?”
I knew that I was ready
and I knew that I was going to be a goalscoring midfielder,
because I had the fitness; I had the drive,
but also I had the timing, which is the biggest key to anything.
It was probably the hardest moment for me as a footballer –
dealing with the first ever serious injury.
But it was the best moment for me as a player.
I realised very quickly who I was as an individual,
and I was determined to get back as soon as possible.
I basically had two-to-three treatments a day;
if they say to ice three times, I'll ice six times.
I'd try and speed up recovery.
I didn't understand the concept of getting treated once or twice a day
when there's effectively 10 hours in a day that you can actually do stuff.
I didn't understand the concept of having a day off when you're injured –
like what's a day off?
So being around Millwall is a great atmosphere –
you had like a really raw gym off the physio room,
and throughout my injuries, even if you were on crutches
or in a boot, you could still go and do pull-ups and push-ups.
You could go on a one-legged bike.
What I'm trying to say is it wasn't a job.
It was the best feeling to be there every day.
To have the training kit – it wasn't about the contract –
it was about the training kit.
It was about training twice a day;
it was so much more about the journey
and what it meant.
So the injury was the best thing because I was at my lowest point,
but then once I came through it
I knew what was on the other side,
and that was to play again at the Den.
Getting someone like Dennis Wise was good for players like myself.
There was David Livermore, Steven Reid, all these sorts of players - young.
The reason why I say it's good is because he's won so much.
The temperament that he had on the pitch and off the pitch, the clubs,
Chelsea that he played at and the influence that he had there.
But then coming to Millwall
to be with us, to help us grow, to share his experience.
It suited him so well.
It suited us so well because Ray Wilkins came as well.
Dennis was very enthusiastic, very passionate,
very emotional whereas Ray Wilkins was very calm,
very soothing, very wholistic with his approach.
And when you put that together, it worked.
And for me, to be playing beside
him and watching and learning and seeing his movements and vision,
and also scoring goals,
it freed up a lot of space for me but at the same time,
gave me a little bit of know-how
on the levels that I needed to get to,
of understanding about keeping the ball more.
And he was such a great passer and he was so good for us
on and off the park. He had
a big influence on all of the players at that time.
To score at Sunderland at Old Trafford, at that stage, in that game was probably one
of the biggest moments for me as a footballer.
Because of what it meant for the club – what
it meant for the team. We were there because we deserved to be.
But then it was about just getting over that last hurdle.
I'll never forget the goal when Paul Ifill cut in, had a shot,
it came back off the keeper, I struck it – just trying to keep it on target,
trying to keep a nice contact – and it hit the back of the net.
That's why you play football.
Who knew if I was ever going to get that chance again
as a player in a semi-final to take us to the finals of one of the biggest competitions?
But I always looked back to that moment as a defining moment,
because teams or players or clubs or fans always look to a player to
make something happen, or to have that opportunity
to create something special, and when I felt
that I was always trying to replicate it.
I was always looking for that opportunity in my career.
I remember Ray Wilkins saying to take in this moment
and to understand where you are. To the realisation
of getting there and to enjoy the experience.
And I'll be honest with you, the final had already been played.
It was at Sunderland.
We knew that we were massively up against it.
We also knew that the mindset was to try
and win, and when you look at the pairings
of who you're playing against and the teams, it was miles away.
But at the same time we had Dennis Wise and Ray Wilkins at the helm,
and big characters within the changing room that were motivating;
that were talking about
what we could leave on that pitch; what we could leave for Millwall.
It was very special.
It's hard to put into words, because everything went so quick.
I remember swapping jerseys, I think with Ruud van Nistelrooy,
and looking at players like Roy Keane and thinking to myself:
"They're winners because of that, because of their application.”
You look at Ryan Giggs, the Nevilles, Rio Ferdinand,
and all these sorts of players and you're just:
“One day you're going to be there.”
You don't know what path you're going to take
and how you're going to get there, but I just thought to myself:
“Eventually I'm going to be playing against you guys more regularly.”