>>> NEGOTIATION.
IT'S NOT JUST RESERVED FOR STARTING A NEW JOB.
IT IS SOMETHING THAT WE DO EACH AND EVERY DAY, ACCORDING TO
NEGOTIATION EXPERT DR.
JOSHUA WEISS.
AS THE PROGRAM DIRECTOR FOR BAY PATH COLLEGE'S NEGOTIATION
PROGRAM AND A SENIOR FELLOW AT THE HARVARD NEGOTIATION PROJECT,
WEISS HAS PLENTY OF TIPS AND POINTERS, WHICH HE RECENTLY
SHARED WITH ME.
>> GENERALLY PEEKING MOST PEOPLE VIEW NEGOTIATION IN A VERY
NARROW KIND OF WAY.
THEY TYPICALLY JUST THINK ABOUT IT WHEN IT COMES TO SALARY
NEGOTIATIONS OR WHAT THEY DO WITH JOBS OR GOING TO NEGOTIATE
FOR A CAR.
YET FIRST OF ALL THEY TAKE A VERY NARROW APPROACH TO
NEGOTIATION, A SORT OF WIN-LOSE WAY OF SEEING AND DOING.
>> SO BLACK OR WHITE, DONE.
>> CORRECT.
AND THEY DON'T REALIZE THAT THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER PLACES
WHERE YOU NEGOTIATE.
AND THAT HOW YOU APPROACH NEGOTIATION MATTERS
DRAMATICALLY.
AND ACTUALLY THE GOAL IS IN THE END TO MEET YOUR SHORT-TERM
INTERESTS, BUT ALSO TO TRY TO PRESERVE THE RELATIONSHIP
BECAUSE MOST OF OUR NEGOTIATIONS ARE ACTUALLY WITH PEOPLE WE HAVE
TO WORK WITH OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
>> RIGHT, JOBS FOR INSTANCE, YES, YOU'RE NEGOTIATING TO START
A JOB HOPEFULLY SUCCESSFULLY AND LAND THAT JOB.
BUT THEN YOU'RE GOING TO WORK WITH THESE FOLKS FOR A GOOD
AMOUNT OF TIME.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU ABSOLUTELY WANT TO, IN THAT SCENARIO, YOU WANT TO ENTER THE
JOB IN A GOOD WAY, AND YOU WANT TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE
DOING THERE SO THAT AS NEGOTIATIONS COME UP, AS YOU'RE
NEGOTIATING WITH YOUR BOSS TO DO CERTAIN THINGS OR OTHERS, THAT
YOU'RE ESSENTIALLY IN A REALLY WORKING WITH THEM, AND THAT'S
WHERE NEGOTIATION COMES IN.
>> WHAT'S SOME OF THE GRAY?
WHAT ARE THE AREAS IN BETWEEN THAT WE CAN HELP PEOPLE
UNDERSTAND THAT WOULD MAKE THEM BETTER NEGOTIATORS?
>> THE BIGGEST THING PEOPLE CAN DO TO HELP THEMSELVES IS TO
BETWEEN WHAT WE CALL POSITION POLICE AND INTEREST.
POSITIONS ARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY THEY WANT.
INTERESTS ARE WHY THEY WANT THEM.
PEOPLE ARE MOTIVATED BY SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS.
THERE CAN BE TANGIBLE THINGS LIKE BUDGETS AND MONEY, THAT CAN
BE PART OF THE MOTIVATION.
BUT THEY ARE ALSO MOTIVATED BY INTANGIBLE THINGS LIKE THEIR
IDENTITY AND MAKING SURE THAT THEY SAVE FACE IN A GIVEN
SITUATION, AND SO MANY NEGOTIATIONS ENCOMPASS ALL OF
THOSE PIECES, AND IF YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THAT YOU
MISS A LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES TO ACTUALLY CREATE BETTER DEALS.
>> SO WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING AT THESE POSITIONS AND INTERESTS,
YOU ALSO HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND, I WOULD IMAGINE, NOT JUST WHAT MY
POSITIONS AND INTERESTS, BUT WHAT THE OTHER PERSON IS
THINKING.
SO HOW DO YOU FINE THAT INFORMATION OUT AND THEN WORK
TOGETHER?
>> YES, THAT'S ONE OF THE COMMON MISTAKES IS PEOPLE DON'T SEE THE
INTERDEPEND DEN NAME OF IT.
PEOPLE WILL SAY TO ME, FOR EXAMPLE, WELL, THAT'S YOUR
PROBLEM, WHEN YOU FIGURE IT OUTLET ME KNOW.
I SAY THE REALITY IS IF I DON'T GET WHAT I NEED THEN I'M NOT
GOING TO SAY YES.
AND YOUR GOAL HERE IS TO GET ME TO SAY YES.
SO THAT'S A BIG MART OF THE CHALLENGE FOR MOST
PEOPLE.
THEY THINK THEY HAVE TO HOLD THEIR CARDS CLOSE TO THE VEST.
IN CERTAIN KINDS OF NEGOTIATIONS THAT'S TRUE, SO IN ONE OFF
NEGOTIATIONS IF YOU'RE BUYING A CAR OR HOUSE OR SOMETHING LIKE
THAT, YOU MAY WANT TO DO THAT.
PLAY THE SORT OF HIGH-LOW GAME.
BUT IN MOST OF OUR NEGOTIATIONS I WOULD SAY 95% OF OUR
NEGOTIATIONS, WHAT WE FIND IS ACTUALLY THAT IF WE DON'T SHARE
INFORMATION, PEOPLE DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT MATTERS US TO.
SO INFORMATION BECOMES THE CURRENCY OF NEGOTIATION, AND THE
MORE THAT I KNOW ABOUT YOU AND WHAT MATTERS TO YOU, THE BETTER
OFF I AM.
FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO NEGOTIATE A JOB, A LOT OF
TIMES PEOPLE WILL JUST FOCUS ON THE MONEY.
YET THEY MAY VERY WELL VALUE FLEX TIME BECAUSE THEY HAVE KIDS
THEY NEED TO PICK UP.
THEY MIGHT LIKE TO TELE COMMUTE, THEY MIGHT NEED BENEFITS.
THEY MIGHT NEED LONGER VACATION, ALL KINDS OF THINGS THAT YOU CAN
ASK FOR.
>> SO MAKE A LIST FOR YOURSELF OF THE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT
TO YOU?
AND THEN CONSIDER WAYS TO NEGOTIATE ON EACH OF THOSE
THINGS, NOT JUST THE MONEY?
>> EXACTLY.
AND THE INTERESTING PART OF THAT IS THAT OFTEN THOSE THINGS ARE
THINGS THAT PEOPLE CAN DO LIKE A PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYER CAN DO FOR
YOU WITHOUT A LOT OF COST TO THEM.
THAT'S ONE OF THE TRICKS TO NEGOTIATION IS FINDING THOSE
REALMS WHERE PEOPLE CAN ACTUALLY GIVE YOU THINGS THAT DON'T COST
THEM A WHOLE LOT.
THAT'S WHY SOMETIMES COMPROMISE IS A BAD APPROACH TO NEGOTIATION
BECAUSE WE RUSH TO THAT.
A LOT OF PEOPLE FEEL ANXIOUS IN NEGOTIATION, SO THEY JUST WANT
TO SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE AND MOVE ON.
WHAT THEY OUGHT TO BE DOING IS GETTING CREATIVE AND ASKING,
WELL, LET ME MAKE SURE I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING THAT
MATTERS TO YOU HERE.
AND THEN SORT OF BEING ABLE TO EXPAND THE PIE BEFORE YOU DIVIDE
IT.
>> SEEMS TO ME IN NEGOTIATION OFTENTIMES IT'S SOMEONE YOU'RE
MEETING FOR THE FIRST TIME WHEN YOU'RE SITTING DOWN TO HAVE THIS
DISCUSSION.
AND WHAT YOU JUST OUTLINED, TO ME, TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF
RELATIONSHIP BUILDING.
HOW DO YOU ADVISE PEOPLE TO WORK QUICKLY TO UNDERSTAND THESE
THINGS THAT ARE THEN GOING TO HELP THEM?
>> SO, ONE THING THAT I TRY TO SAY TO PEOPLE IS SLOW THE
NEGOTIATION PROCESS DOWN.
MOST OF THE TIME THERE'S NOT A HURRY AND YET PEOPLE WANT TO
JUST WRAP THINGS UP QUICKLY.
AND SO THE REALITY IS IF YOU DON'T KNOW SOMEBODY, YOU HAVE TO
PROTECT YOURSELF ALONG THE WAY, BUT WHAT I ADVISE IS TO SORT OF
SAY TO THEM, LOOK, THERE'S A WAY WE CAN APPROACH THIS PROCESS
WHERE I CAN TELL YOU WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME AND YOU CAN DO
THE SAME AND WE CAN CREATE A BETTER DEAL.
SO WHAT YOU DO IS NOT LAY ALL YOUR CARDS ON THE TABLE, BUT
OFFER ONE THING UP WITH THE SORT OF CAVEAT THAT YOU'RE GOING TO
SHARE SOMETHING THAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU, AND YOU KIND OF EXPECT
THEM TO DO THE SAME.
YOU BEGIN DOWN THAT ROAD, AND IF THEY DON'T RECIPROCATE, THEN YOU
HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU WANT TO GO FROM THERE AND WHEN
YOU WANT TO CONTINUE.
FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE THEY DON'T KNOW THAT THERE'S ANOTHER WAY TO
NEGOTIATE, AND I THINK THAT'S PART OF THE PROBLEM IS THE WORLD
AROUND US IS OFTEN TELLING US, YOU KNOW, THIS IS A WIN-LOSE
GAME.
AND IT'S ACTUALLY NOT.
I DO A LOT OF WORK WITH COMPANIES AND ORGANIZATIONS AND
MORE AND MORE COMPANIES ARE REALIZING THAT THEY'VE GOT TO
WORK EFFECTIVELY, MEET THEIR SHORT-TERM INTERESTS, BUT NOT AT
THE EXPENSE OF THE LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP.
>> SO HOW DO YOU THEN WEIGH THAT?
IF I'M GOING IN FOR WHATEVER, WHETHER I'M NEGOTIATING WITH MY
KID TO GET THEM ON THE BUS IN THE MORNING OR SOMETHING MORE
SERIOUS, A NEW JOB, HOW DO YOU MAKE THAT LIST AND DECIDE FOR
YOURSELF, OKAY, THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT I SHOULD BE, THAT I
WANT TO WALK AWAY WITH, THESE ARE THE THINGS I CAN BE FLEXIBLE
ON.
HOW DO YOU FIT THAT ALTOGETHER?
>> RIGHT.
SO ONE OF THE KEYS TO NEGOTIATION IS PREPARATION.
SO PRESIDENT EISENHOWER ONCE SAID PLANS ARE USELESS, BUT
PLANNING IS EVERYTHING.
AND I THINK THAT REALLY APPLIES TO NEGOTIATION.
NEGOTIATION IS SORT OF LIKE CHESS, YOU COME UP WITH
CONTINGENCY PLANS AND THEORIES AND THINKING HOW YOU GO FROM A
TO B. BUT ABSOLUTELY THE KEY IS BEFORE
YOU GET IN THE ROOM, THINKING ABOUT WHAT IS IT THAT'S MOST
IMPORTANT TO ME HERE AND WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS THAT PERHAPS I
COULD LET GO IF I NEED TO.
IF YOU DON'T DO THAT, THEN YOU END UP RUNNING THE RISK THAT
YOU'RE GOING TO AGREE TO ANYTHING AND THEN REALIZE WHEN
YOU LEAVE THE ROOM THAT, WAIT, I JUST GAVE UP WHAT IT WAS THAT I
REALLY WANTED.
SO IT REQUIRES SOME THOUGHT.
AND WE USE A LOT OF CHECK LISTS WITH THE STUDENTS, AND I TEACH
THE PEOPLE I WORK WITH, LET'S USE THIS LIST TO HELP YOU ORDER
AND PRIORITIZE WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU.
>> SOMETHING ELSE I'VE HEARD YOU TALK ABOUT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF
AVOIDING MAKING ASSUMPTIONS.
HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
BECAUSE I THINK SO OFTEN YOU THINK LIKE OH, I'M PLENTYING,
I'M THINKING ABOUT HOW TO COUNTER WHAT THEY MIGHT SAY, BUT
THEN THAT COMES WITH SOME ASSUMPTIONS.
>> ONE OF THE THINGS I DO WHEN I SIT DOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH
SOMEBODY IS SAY CAN YOU HELP ME UNDERSTAND FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE
WHAT WE'RE NEGOTIATING ABOUT.
THEY LOOK AT ME FUNNY INITIALLY, BUT WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO IS GET
AT WHAT'S YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE, BECAUSE
I'VE BEEN IN NEGOTIATIONS WHERE I WAS TALKING ABOUT MONETARY
ISSUES AND SOMEBODY ELSE WAS TALKING ABOUT OUR ABILITY TO
WORK TOGETHER.
SO IF SOMEBODY SAYS SOMETHING, YOU SAY CAN YOU HELP ME
UNDERSTAND HOW YOU ARRIVE AT THAT CONCLUSION, WHICH IS GOING
TO REVEAL THEIR PERCEPTION OR ASSUMPTIONS.