This is what I've bought.
It's a 1972 Rolls Royce Corniche fixed head
with coachwork by HJ Mulliner Park Ward.
And it's everything I look for in a classic, luxury car.
It's quiet, it's supremely comfortable and it's quintessentially British.
Frankly, if you have £25,000 to spend on classic luxury
and you don't buy one of these, you're an imbecile.
See what I mean.
Reichsmarschall Goering has arrived.
Morgen!
This, James, as I'm sure you know, is a Mercedes 600 Grosse,
which was in 1963 the most expensive car in the world.
Overpriced then, like most Mercedes.
No! Does your car have a hydraulically-operated sunshine roof?
-No. -Hydraulic windows?
-No. -Hydraulic seats.
-No. -Hydraulic doors? Hydraulic boot lid?
-No. -Well, there you are.
That's that, then, is it?
You've just got a Ford Zephyr with a chrome nose.
This is a coach built, hand-built car.
Hand-built is just another way of saying the door will fall off.
What's this called? Rolls-Royce Mulliner Park Ward?
H J Mulliner Park Ward.
It just sounds like a plumbers' convention.
Can I just show you something?
You see these little windows here? Do you know what they are for?
So that when you're in the back and the window is down,
this stops the draught messing your hair up.
You've seen this as well? Has your car got these?
-Curtains? -Curtains.
No, they go in caravans.
-Are you ready for this? -Yes.
Okay, ready?
That's brilliant, actually.
I have to concede that because what I always found really difficult is this.
Plainly, this had to be settled and the only way Top Gear knows.
So, we headed for the test track.
What the Grosser did was cement Mercedes's reputation for engineering integrity.
I think the only reason they didn't make it out of diamonds is because
they're too weak and brittle.
And then there's the ride.
Just completely irons out the bumps.
James will be saying the same thing in that Ford Zephyr of his. I know he will.
Absolutely nothing is allowed to compromise the quality of the ride.
In fact, I like to believe that if you worked at Rolls Royce in the 1970s
and you ever used a word like handling or sporty...
you'd have been fired.
This was a car for heads of state, dictators if I'm honest.
People who had a 600 almost always had access to an air force.
That's why nobody carves it up.
Partly 'cause it's got the loudest horn in the world and also because...
I can call in an air strike.
At the track, our producers had laid on a series of tests.
The first inevitably involved Lord Stig.
Okay, surprise me.
"As you can see, the Stig is currently driving
a 1.1 litre Hyundai iEO down a slalom."
It's an i10.
Some say that's his own car.
"You will attempt to beat his time
in your much more elaborate and sophisticated cars."
Here he comes. It's a proud and noble car that is.
With the Stig's marker laid down, the Rolls went first.
Hit it!
If this car had a monocle, it would fall out now.
I can't hold it, captain.
It's not a dignified spectacle, that.
Cock.
He's reversing!
This was ridiculous.
Going to be sick.
Okay, so the Hyundai did it in 24.46 seconds and James...
That's not good, mate.
I had good reason to imagine the green Grosser would do better.
This is my secret weapon.
Pull it down and it increases the pressure in the shock absorbers
to 3,000 lbs per square inch.
Cor!
It is cor! It will be like an F1 racer going down there.
It wasn't.
No, it's not quite as straight level as I might have hoped.
But unlike the Rolls, its turning circle was less than the width of the runway.
That's quite good, actually.
You've got to bear in mind if you got a dictator in the back
and terrorists come, you've got to get away quickly.
Oh! That's a lot faster than Captain Slow!
Cock.
So, with the first blood to Mercedes it was time for our next challenge.
"There will now be a quarter mile drag race between the two of you."
But it says the only thing is you aren't allowed to use your engines.
It says, "Old cars break down a lot
and you should get used to pushing them out of harm's way."
A quarter of a mile pushing race?
I've put my back out just thinking about doing this.
You're trying to get out of it. Just say go.
Are we ready?
-I'm moving. -I'm not.
And I was already ahead.
I've got no tracks on these shoes.
How much does yours actually weigh?
-2.2 tons. -Mine's 2.8.
Hang on, you're getting ahead.
God, this is painful.
I can't go on. I've had a heart attack.
I've won that.
Yes, you have, you've won.
-I was still going. -I don't care, I'm not going any more.
I bet I've got Ebola.
Mercifully the next test did involve our engines.
Which car could achieve the highest top speed?
He's reached five.
Buffeting. I've got 80.
The radar trap was set.
90. Good God, the trim's coming off.
But with a six and three-quarter litre V8, the final result should be impressive.
It wasn't.
Children come out of the womb faster than that!
Before James had stopped I fired up the 6.3 litre big.
Top speed of this car in 1969 was 128.
120 kph.
130.
160. There is, 100 miles an hour.
170.
Stop!
My brakes are on fire.
We can see the smoke.
It didn't stop and now it's on fire.
It still stopped better than me, I have to say.
Yeah, your stopping distance is rubbish.