wow
finally my collection's complete hey
guys welcome back to the drew gooden
variety show
this is something i do once every two
years where i take a bunch of unrelated
[ __ ]
and inexplicably put all of it in the
same video
enjoy oh i've made a severe boxing
is one of the most hardcore sports that
there is i'd probably put it at number
two
just behind mma fighting but it gets
pretty rough out there cause like yeah
people punch each other in other sports
but
usually they're not supposed to do that
they get ejected from the stadium when
that happens and then they get a little
fine in the mail that says how
dare you make a mockery out of this
sport where everyone puts on colorful
outfits and tries to hug each other as
hard as they can
this is serious but boxing is different
the violence is encouraged
it's purposely aggressive which is why
it's so funny to me when there's this
much sexual tension before a fight don't
worry i did not spend 50 dollars to
watch that fight i also
didn't pirate it illegally because i'm a
law abiding citizen
and i couldn't find a link that worked
what i did was watch a live reaction of
someone else
who was watching the fight and i gotta
say
definitely got my money's worth but of
course the fun didn't stop at
paul v mayweather this past weekend we
had the official youtube vs tick tock
showdown that's right the non-existent
platform war has finally crescendoed
into a series of organized fistfights
and just to be clear
this is for entertainment purposes only
i'm not sure
i understand the point of that
disclaimer but i'm not sure i understand
the point of any of this and the lineup
was
incredible you had tanner fox vinnie
hacker
ryland okay i don't know who any of
these people are for a second i got
excited because i thought dance gavin
dance was involved but then i realized i
read the letters in the wrong order but
headlining the event was bryce hall the
ultimate tick tock [ __ ] boy
and mr ace family himself this is gonna
be
good i'm superman i'm 21. i'm at my
prime right now
look at me
i'm gonna knock out austin because i'm
an actual fighter and i got two guns
right here
okay first of all 21 is not the prime of
your life i'd say it's more like
eight because it's pretty much all
downhill from there second of all those
aren't guns my dude
those are your arms trust me i check
maybe that's why i ended up getting his
ass kicked austin started punching him
and he was like i'm sorry i thought we
were
doing an old-fashioned cowboy duel i
must have misread the poster
also when is dance gavin dance
performing now you might have noticed
that there's a bit of a theme
to the lineup of guys who are involved
in these events most of them are
creators who have essentially made a
name for themselves by being someone
that people don't like and when you've
run out of ways to get everyone talking
about you by pissing them off
the natural next step is to charge them
money to see you get punched in the face
and you know what
it works it's the personification of not
being able to look away
from a train wreck only instead of
trains running into each other
it's two people who make shitty internet
content like i
can't stand austin mcbroom but i wasn't
mad when he gave bryce a bloody nose at
the end of the day
i've got a dumb little caveman brain i
can't help what i like
now i have seen a lot of people
criticize these events by calling them a
disgrace to boxing you're taking what is
a very prestigious sport
with a lot of history and honor attached
to it and you're turning it into a joke
and i understand that there have been
examples in the past of people
disrespecting
the art of fighting and it ends up
getting them kicked in the face so i'm
not saying you're wrong
to think that way all i'm saying is that
watching
aaron carter a disgraced former pop star
get in the ring with lamar odom a
six foot ten retired nba power forward
is one of the funniest things i've ever
seen in my life lamarr makes aaron look
like a nine-year-old boy
just swinging his arms around as hard as
he can he had to jump
off of the ground in order for his fists
to reach his face
even the commentators were laughing
technique
can you guess who won the fight i'll
give you a hint
it wasn't aaron carter and you might say
well that's not fair
aaron is way smaller than him and that's
true
um but he knew that before agreeing to
do the fight
it's not like he got unexpectedly mugged
outside his home
he knew the stakes and he was very
confident going into it i'm gonna eat
him so bad people are gonna be like did
you watch aaron carter he could take
conor mcgregor
you done messed so like bryce hall he
got what was coming to him
a few punches to the face and more
importantly a big old check you can hate
these events as much as you want and i
certainly don't blame you
but this is not the end of youtuber
boxing this is only
the beginning out of all the social
media apps i would say
instagram provides the least amount of
actual substance ninety percent of what
i consume on there is stories which is
content that the person posting them
deemed not
important enough to live in a permanent
space and i'll
sit there for hours watching all of it
but instagram also has probably the
worst
learning algorithm when it comes to
figuring out what kind of content you
want to see
like i follow a few football pages and i
am a person so you know i'll
occasionally eat some food so instagram
takes
all of that information and says here
you go
i've got just the thing for you or send
food and sports and food and sports and
food and sometimes brent rivera
how did you get here that's my entire
explore page that's all i get
billions of dollars have been invested
into machine learning technology and the
only thing that this machine has learned
about me
is that sometimes i'm hungry and i feel
like at this point for me at least it's
broken beyond repair because sometimes i
do click on the things they show me
which they interpret as awesome we knew
you'd like that
more of that is on the way but how am i
supposed to click on something else
if you never show me anything else
anyway that's my algorithm rant my point
is the majority of my explore page is
videos of food which led me to this
account
called keto snacks i just take two
hamburger patties and put all of my
toppings in the middle
this is so much healthier than using
bread and it is so
busting oh my god real quick if you
don't know what keto is basically it's
when you try to cut out carbs and sugar
and replace that with mostly meat and
fat there are plenty of videos out there
that will explain it more scientifically
and compare and contrast the health
benefits
but that's the diet in a nutshell and it
seems like it's gotten a lot more
popular recently
partly because a lot more people are
doing it and partly because a lot of
people
are making fun of them for doing it
personally i'm not nearly healthy enough
to judge anybody for
participating in a diet that involves a
lot of impulse control
because that's the thing i'm most bad at
why do you think i'm always out here
wearing hoodies in the summer
it's because i don't like my body but i
still think it can be pretty fun
to make fun of how absurd some of these
videos are the first one i saw from keto
snacks was this
let's make the easiest keto lunch ever
you're just gonna take a block of cream
cheese and add some everything but the
bagel
oh my god i was like okay that's
hilarious he's parodying
all of the keto uh instagrammers and
tick tockers
mmm spoonful of cream cheese so
delicious but then when i like
explored more of his page i realized
wait most of this is in parody candied
bacon thing
lots of like pizza life hacks where it's
just more cheese
and more meat and no dough but then i'll
see one like this
let's make my favorite keto snack ever
you're just gonna cut up a stick of
butter dip it in some mayo and
oh my gosh this is so busting it's like
okay well that
has to be a joke but 90 of his page is
serious recipes
so then when i get to those i i'm almost
not sure
if it's real or not also i love how he
describes everything that's good as
busting this was straight busting this
is
so bustling this is one of the most
buzzing combinations
ever sometimes it's almost like he's
arguing with himself though
this is busan you want to know what's
really busan
this is so basic no it's not what you
want to know what's really busting
okay i'm sorry eggs again some of these
are really interesting
pretty creative um and then he'll just
do one that's like life hack
put a slice of cheese on a slice of meat
bet you never thought about that but
what i really love that he does is he
has all of these funny nicknames for
things
strobs boobs sugar-free whipped cream
blueberries no we don't say that around
here bloobs
now that's busted he'll throw him out
super unexpectedly too
now you just add half a cup mozzarella
some seasonings okay
normal so far for a super easy clean up
now you're just gonna spray it with
hairspray top your mix with pepperoni
hairspray it's not that funny but i
scroll through the comments and almost
no one is addressing it so i'm like i'm
going crazy over here like did he
actually use hairspray but the greatest
moment in all of his videos was without
a doubt
this you're just gonna cut an avocado in
half and remove the wooden ball and
remove the wooden ball remove the wooden
ball the little
wooden ball see i always thought that
was the pit it was like
a little seed that grows inside with the
avocado
but that's not the case turns out all of
the farmers who distribute
avocados actually put a little wooden
ball inside to piss us
off anyway that's pretty much all i have
to say about that guy you can see now
why i couldn't make a whole video about
them um but i thought those were funny
and wanted to share them with the class
you want to know what's really busting
finally a few of you have been sending
me a new buzzfeed quiz that i'm really
excited about
no it's not what kind of garbage are you
or this buzzfeed quiz
about buzzfeed quizzes both great
options but i've always thought
you know in this world you're either a
danny gonzalez or a drew gooden and i
think today is the day
we find out which hi danny hi how's it
going
i decided to wear a hat today and i was
i was worried that i was gonna be the
only one wearing a hat today but then it
turns out you're wearing one too so i
couldn't help but notice that your
hat is chicago and your shirt says
nashville so
what the [ __ ] no the c on my head
doesn't stand for chicago
oh i thought that stan stands for
country boy
oh okay i know that your mentions have
been blowing up with
this buzzfeed quiz yeah actually it's
been really fun uh
i've gotten a lot of people saying that
they've gotten me in the quiz
which makes me really happy yeah and
people have told me that they've gotten
me
and that makes me angry people have like
a 50 chance of getting you in this quiz
but it still makes you mad because
they're like jacking your style or
something
absolutely fuming okay so this quiz is
called in this world you're either
a daniel's also a jew good i don't know
if i really agree with that
premise that you're either one or the
other and there's no other possibilities
yeah well especially for my point of
view i don't want anyone to be me so
ideally everybody is danny gonzalez and
you know what to be honest i don't like
feeling left out so i would also prefer
everyone to be
me as well see we are different yeah
because you're not a country bully yeah
i know i'm a
little [ __ ] do you think that's going
to be the first quiz actually in this
world you're either a country boy or a
little [ __ ]
question number one choose some pants
jeans or shorts
right off the bat this is a really tough
question is it well it just depends on
the weather right like i feel like i
wear jeans when it's
cold out and shorts when it's hot
sometimes i wear neither like when i'm
sleeping or in the shower
on what occasion is this a hot summer
day or am i uh naked and wet
i suppose if i had to pick one to wear
for the rest of my life
i guess i'd pick jeans because i don't
want my legs to get cold
well just to be different i'm definitely
gonna pick shorts then so whoa
wait what i don't think i've ever worn
this hat in a video
okay well i don't own any red hat so i
am gonna pick blue
yeah i have to pick red i mean it's too
too coincidental not to
choose a topic to discuss i can't decide
which one is supposed to be which
because i know you've made like a video
about vin diesel before but we both made
a video about jeremy renner
so i could see i would guess that i make
videos about someone famous and you make
videos about a bad movie what would you
rather
drink i think you're pretty outspoken on
your channel about being a big milkshake
guy right
i did make that uh seven part series
about my favorite milkshake flavors i'm
surprised one of these isn't lacroix
though you're sort of a famous lacroix
connoisseur i wonder
if the person who made this quiz doesn't
know what lacroix is cause some people
don't know and they just see it in a can
and think it's gonna be soda because
i've had a lot of people say like i
tried la croix for the first time
because you keep raving about it and it
was disgusting
and it's like well yeah obviously if you
don't like sparkling water you're not
gonna like la croix but they think it's
gonna be like a tasty soda drink yeah
with
like sugar in it and flavor and it's
just like licking the outside of a lime
is kind of what lacroix tastes like the
first time i guess milkshake i don't
know i mean
you know what i'm kind of worried about
like all of these questions are just
kind of random and don't have anything
to do with either of us and it just
like randomly assigns you one of us at
the end maybe this is like the default
quiz
questions when you make one and they
made the title and then
accidentally click done it's like oh
choose a place you'd rather go for a
date i'm noticing a bit of a trend here
but i'm going to pick restaurant
okay but i feel like i'm picking all of
the left answers and you're picking all
of the right answers i'm starting to
notice that as well
these could all be based on location you
live in a colder
state i live in a warmer state i wear
shorts and i eat
outdoors and you wear jeans and eat
indoors and i wear blue cap
because it's cold and you wear red cap
because it's hot red is infamously
the color of fire you know what is weird
is that i'm wearing a blue cap with a
red
emblem we accidentally
dressed as the inverse of each other
today what are you wearing shorts right
now
i feel like this quiz is simultaneously
really nailing us
and also not like i'm not known for
wearing jeans and you're known for
wearing shorts but we just happen to be
wearing them today
i am suddenly terrified of this person's
ability to see the future
actually i'm i'm looking at the window
there's a guy with a laptop right
outside and he's
looks like he's filling out the answers
to this quiz as we're sitting here no i
don't have that for me i do see someone
looking at me with binoculars and
jerking off but that's probably
unrelated
okay this one i guess i could see the
logic in would you rather sing or dance
you are known for your music you sing i
was just watching again our video
about the principal's office and i did
dance on you and i was singing during
that too
i was like yeah i mean i get that i have
a young
face a lot too so maybe the fact that
it's a child singing has something to do
yeah are you a child singing or a
grown-up dancing
and then last question which emoji are
you apple
or apple you're reading the they're
crediting apples
i think they think that each of these
emojis are apples i could see the one on
the right being
a tree with apples in it maybe those
aren't ornaments those
are apples hanging from the tree and
this one is sort of like a wave of apple
juice
yeah the christmas one makes sense
because we i guess we make videos about
christmas movies but
we both do that have you ever been open
about your how you like to surf
i don't like to surf i don't know if
i've said this in videos but like my
ideal vacation is like a beach vacation
where i just like sit on the beach and
do nothing so
i mean the fact that you started that
sentence with i don't know if i've said
this in a video but
that goes with the theme i have never
made it public that i have a red hat
that i am wearing shorts right now or
that it is christmas
in my house i mean i've been to your
house so i know this but a lot of people
don't know if you were to open that door
behind you
it's like a winter wonderland back there
it's just like christmas trees and elves
and
well i don't want to i don't want to let
it in when you open the door in the
video can you edit in like a growling
sound effect and then like you quickly
shut it christmas wonderland aka the
bottom abdominal snowman he's
all stomach and wouldn't you know it i
got me
i got me hell yeah i guess you can't see
my screen so you're just gonna have to
take my word for it yeah you wouldn't
lie to me about that right
yeah i got i got um what's that other
danny i got danny yeah drew or what's
the other guy's name
you're extremely hard-working thank you
but not true and also i'm dreaming of
the day
when the commentary genre will be all
mine almost you're more danny you're a
person of many talents
and you're constantly raising the bar no
so it didn't really say anything like
that on
yours i guess you're hard working you
you definitely try
yeah i try my darndest you're always
down to watch a knockoff movie and
sip a lemoncello lacroix okay i think
that goes with your theory uh they
thought lacroix was a soda you're
dreaming of the day when people don't
think you're the roadwork guy from the
roadwork vine
any random person that filled this out
who's just a fan
of us too is also dreaming of the day
that people won't think
they are the road work guy imagine
taking this quiz without knowing who
either of us are
i did notice at the bottom buzzfeed
quizzes have a what do you think so most
people are like cute lol but a few
people are like what the [ __ ]
i assume some people have no idea who we
are
filled it out regardless and then
they're like i am not dreaming of the
day when the commentary genre will be
all mine
couple people yeah had their hearts
broken by this quiz
no i got danny but i've always seen
myself as having drew qualities so that
person was definitely heartbroken oh man
well i mean i think it pretty succinctly
showed the differences between us
i mean you're a jeans guy i'm a shorts
guy or wait and your name's drew
my last name's gonzalez
i'm drinking a milkshake but i'm
drinking a soda and
i'm a country boy
hi i'm a cool dude something you may
have already deduced
by my backwards hat and as a cool dude
i'm always trying to watch the newest
sickest movies but i'd prefer to do it
for free
if possible and i really wanted to watch
christopher nolan's newest movie tenant
which is about
um time travel i think i don't know no
one actually knows what that movie's
about but i wasn't about to spend
15 buckaroonies on it so i thought
there's gotta be a better way
and then i remembered about expressvpn
which is coincidentally the sponsor of
today's video by using a virtual private
network you can change your computer's
location to a different country
not by mailing it there but just by
clicking a few buttons
so even though tenant isn't on american
netflix it
is in their australian library so yeah i
watched it
and let me just say this hat isn't the
only thing that went over my head there
are literally thousands of shows and
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by using expressvpn and the servers they
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and the specific kind of porn you like
the best
use expressvpn which encrypts your data
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aren't meant to be shared with the world
and that's why i use a vpn to find out
how you can get three months free click
the link in the description that's
expressvan.com
drew you can also type it out manually
if that's something you'd prefer
um i'm not here to tell you how to live
your life i just want you to make the
most out of your netflix subscription
thank you express me and for sponsoring
today's video
instead of punching me in the face
alright guys thanks for watching
i'll see you guys next time with another
really interesting video
where i fall in a vat of toxic sludge
and when i come out i have a horrible
medical condition
and the rest of my life is wrong this
video is over now
[Music]
overnight
hey