- Here's something I wanna show you.
It's our new segment called Why I Don't Have Kids.
[Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble"]
- [singing] When you walked in
Oh So shame on me now
Flew me to pla--
- All right, these are pictures that viewers send in
that remind me why I don't have kids.
This is sent in from Michelle Cushman
in Methuen, Massa-tuseths.
[laughter]
That's hard to say, Methuen, Massachusetts.
"Our three-year-old wanted to bake a cake.
While my husband was in the bathroom,
she dumped cocoa on her sister's head."
audience: Oh! [laughter]
- Oh, man...
[chuckles]
Ah, no--well, it's better
than being on the furniture, I guess.
That's... [laughter]
Joan Cotton from Norman, Oklahoma:
"My grandsons decided to have their Cheerios
without a bowl."
audience: Oh!
- Mm, see, that's why I don't have grandkids either.
That's... [laughter]
Stephanie Jacobson from West Jordan, Utah:
"My son and his friend were being too quiet.
I walked in and how could you not laugh at this."
audience: Oh!
- This is why I not only don't have kids,
it's why I don't have furniture that you can unzip.
[laughter]
Laura Bogenrief, I believe,
from Chicago, Illinois:
"My two girls were finger painting
and started playing peekaboo.
The rest is history."
[laughter]
Oh, my God. You're gonna need
a really good paint remover and an exorcist, I think.
[laughter]
And look at all the white furniture.
They, clearly, were not prepared for that.
Meggie Biersack posted this on Instagram.
audience: Oh...
- You know, you leave your kids alone for one week, and look...
[laughter]
[laughs]
That is crazy, isn't it?
Oh, my God, that's not okay.
That's why I don't have kids.
If you have a picture of your kids
or any other kids you think I should see,
please send them to me. We'll be back.