Self Destructive Things Guys Need to Stop Doing
[0:00:00] [Music]
I'm so stupid.
I hate myself.
What was I thinking?
I'm an idiot.
Raise your hand if you've ever put yourself down like that.
I know I have.
The first self-destructive habit you need to crush, gentlemen, stop listening to those
voices in your head.
Now, it's actually natural to have negative thoughts.
A 2005 study coming out of the National Science Foundation showed that we have on average
12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day.
But, what really blew me away is that for most people about 80% of those thoughts are
negative.
Your life is not determined by the negative thoughts.
They’re thoughts they're in your head, they are not reality.
Now, the second self-destructive thing that guys need to stop doing, obsessing over the
six-pack.
And let me be clear, I've got nothing but respect for body builders and guys that want
that look.
But, for a lot of guys who are going after it, they somehow equate that with a high level
of health.
I think most men what we want is strength, we want flexibility, we want endurance.
My point, gentlemen, it's self-destructive to focus in on the looks going after that
six-pack, instead go for the results.
Look to increase your strength, look to increase your squat, your deadlift, look to focus in
on your mile time.
Focus on the results, not how it looks.
The next self-destructive thing a lot of guys do, they have bad habits which lead to bad
routines.
Whether you know it or not, you've got habits and routines already in your life.
Now, your habits your actions that you take without even thinking, one of them could be
you put on your right shoe before putting on your left shoe.
Now, routines on the other hand that's a series of habits that happen usually in a set sequence.
If you think about it our life is a series of habits and routines.
So, what you put into your body, how you take care of your body, how you study and invest
in your mind.
The habits and routines you have here will determine your outcome your life.
So, instead of shooting from the hip when it comes to habits or routines, you want to
develop rituals.
Let's talk about skincare.
Do you have a morning routine, a morning ritual?
I know for me, I first like to start with wetting my face.
Next up, I take face wash I put a dab on my hand and I wash my face for about a minute,
then I rinse off again with warm water.
Next up, I use an exfoliating scrub.
I'm going to put a little dab on my hand and for about a minute I'm going to go in a circular
motion scrubbing on my face.
Now, after I've dried my face I use an anti-aging cream.
This is the super serum from Tiege Hanley, the sponsor of today's video and, yes, this
is a great product.
And what I like about it is it penetrates the face and it does a good job basically
helping to get rid of a few wrinkles.
Now, about 30 seconds after using the super serum, then I use the eye cream.
I just put a little bit right under each eye.
And right after that, I'm using Tiege Hanley’s morning moisturizer.
What I really like about this, it's got an SPF of 20, so I get a little bit of sunblock
and this is going to go through and moisturize my entire face.
Now, my routine that I just shared with you, that's using Tiege Hanley’s Skincare Level
3.
That comes with all the products I just showed you.
If you want a little bit less, you can look at their Skincare Level 2.
It actually does not come with the super serum or if you don't want the eye cream or the
super serum, then look at their Skincare Level 1.
And, gents, if you've never heard of Tiege Hanley, then you're in for a treat.
These guys have made it simple to basically level up your skincare.
Let's talk about how simple the system is.
Guys, whether you choose their system 1, system 2, system 3, what you're going to find is
it this is the easiest skincare system out there.
And let's talk about the price, gentlemen.
If you were to go to a drugstore try to put this together, in some cases you could pay
ten times as much.
Tiege Hanley, I know the founders I've seen what they did I've been to the lab.
These guys wanted to give amazing good quality ingredients at a fair price and that's exactly
what they did.
Gentleman, I'm linking the Tiege Hanley down in the description with the best deal you're
going to find out there.
Use that link, go check them out, an amazing company I'm proud to support them.
So, the next self-destructive things a lot of guys do, they're always swinging for the
homerun.
Many times it's better to hit a single, to hit a double, to knock in a triple, that is
what's going to win the game.
The self-destructive guy I'm talking about here, he's taken a lot of reckless risks he's
taking chances which have a very low chance of ever paying off.
It's like the difference between playing the lottery and investing in the stock market.
If you took $20 a day and you buy tickets, yes, there is a chance that you will win that
$100 million jackpot, but the odds are astronomical.
Contrast that to the less sexy route of taking that $20 at age 20 and investing in the stock
market.
No, you're not going to have a 100 million in forty years, but you're pretty much guaranteed
to have at least a few million.
My point here, don't overlook the little wins.
Yeah, that big win is really sexy really attractive, but those little wins they're easy to grab
up and when you add them up, they can far outweigh that big win.
The next self-destructive habit you need to throw out the window, listening to unsolicited
advice.
And things are getting worse and worse in this connected world.
Anyone that's been on Instagram, anyone that's posted anything kind of controversial on Facebook,
you've probably found out that people there is no limit to how many people want to give
you their unsolicited opinion.
But, here's the deal is it some opinions are valuable, some not so much.
Actually, probably most not so much.
At the end of the day, you've got to live with your actions and your decisions and what
you say, so make sure that you're getting opinions you're getting insights from people
whose opinion you actually respect.
[0:05:10] Have you ever heard the quote, “Comparison
is the death of happiness.”?
And that leads us to our next self-destructive thing so many guys are doing is they're comparing
themselves to somebody else that they don't actually know very well.
Again, they're looking at the online profile or they see this person around town they're
like, man, look at what that guy has got.
He's – we’re the same age, we even maybe went to the same school.
I didn't know him too well, but, man, look at his wife, she's absolutely beautiful.
I wish I had what he has.
You do not know the path that that man has walked.
Understand that comparison -- and if you are always thinking that the grass is greener
on the other side, you're not going to be happy.
You've got to learn to get to know people really well and you're going to start to realize
they're just as human as you.
And when you understand that that we're all the same we all suffer from the frustrations
of failure from relationships that just go sour from people that disappoint us, you're
going to realize, hey, I am very happy with this one life I have.
I'm going to stop comparing myself and I'm going to just live my life for me and for
those that matter.
So, the next self-destructive thing a lot of guys fall into is you're worried about
what other people think of you especially the ladies and you're trying to play -- and
I know we put out a number of videos how to be more attractive, but if you go watch those
videos, I'm always talking about the power of confidence the power of knowing who you
are and knowing what you stand for and that is the secret.
When you start to realize that the vast majority of people they don't care about you at all,
they're too worried about own problems their own issues their own insecurities, all of
a sudden, you're able to realize, hey, we're very similar.
Now, you know that you're imperfect you know that you are not, you know, I mean you're
good, but you've got -- you're always struggling to become the best man you can be and that's
the one person maybe that you should be looking to impress – yourself.
Every day you should be working you should be trying to be better than the man you were
yesterday.
Now, this next one is really important, stop dwelling on the past.
We think about our past were like, man, if I had just been smarter, if I've made a better
decision there.
I know with my sister that that I lost almost a decade ago, I think, gosh, what if I would
have called her that night that she decided to do something so stupid that we lost her?
What if I just told her more than I loved her could I have changed that?
You know the thing, that’s going to kill you.
You can't dwell on your past mistakes.
Focus in on changing and becoming better going forward, not on that past that you have no
control over.
Now, this next self-destructive habit I'm guilty of and that is being the guy with all
the answers.
And if you're a smart guy, you've got all the answers, yeah, you're pretty smart.
But, you're a genius if you ask better questions and you are going to connect with people if
you can become a better listener.
When you can do this when you can listen to people and really just listen to them with
no judgment and just simply accept them as who they are make time for them, people are
going to love it.
And, if you want to jump in if you want to maybe have an effect on them, ask good questions.
Well, why are you doing this?
Well, what steps could you take?
Don't tell them what to do.
All of a sudden when they come to that realization they come to that, well, I mean you could
have given them that answer, but when they realize it themselves, that's when the magic
happens.
So, I'm watching this video the other day.
The guy takes a microphone puts it right in people's faces and says, “Don't say anything
and win five dollars.”
And the vast majority of people start talking, “Oh, what do you mean win five dollars?
What are the rules?”
They'd lose right there.
He said, don't say anything, win five dollars.
They started to talk without thinking and this right here is going to just screw, so
it's going to sabotage you so many times when you talk.
You say something stupid you say something that offends somebody because you didn't think
before you spoke.
Now, one of my favorite sayings as a kid was, “Better to be silent and thought a fool
than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
I loved it because there is power in silence in, again, listening to people and then taking
a second to respond.
And, gents, if you're about to lose your temper, excuse yourself from the conversation.
What you don't want to say is I hate you, I never want to see you again, you are an
idiot you're stupid because you know what?
You can't take those words back and that could really just destroy a relationship.
Gents, take the time to think before you speak.
So, one of my favorite philosophers and let me know down the comments if you know who
this is he said this, “There are men who were imprisoned their entire lives in a room
with an unlocked door.
The issue is their entire lives they've been pushing on the door versus understanding that
all they have to do is pull it inwards to escape.”
One of the most self-destructive habits I see out there for men is the refusal to have
an open mind.
There are so many guys out there that have this self-destructive habit of being too stubborn
to ever change their mind.
They would rather go down with the ship than realize there's room on the lifeboats.
[0:10:04] Limiting beliefs hold us all back.
I know for me learning languages, getting into amazing shape, these are things I just
felt they're not for me they're not free Antonio.
But you know what?
Once you start to break past this and, again, it's a step-by-step process all of a sudden
you're realizing, you know what?
I was just learning the language the wrong way.
I actually can learn languages, I can get into amazing shape.
And these are the kind of things that you want to challenge and you want to ask yourself,
you know what?
I've only got this one life, am I thinking about this wrong?
Because our beliefs shape the lives that we lead.
So, what video to watch next?
How about this one, 10 mistakes older guys make trying to look young?
Or what about skincare mistakes?
You want to see a video with me and Aaron Marino?
Go check out this one we had a lot of fun filming it, seven skin care mistakes that
most men make.
Or what about how to make dressing sharp less complicated?
I got you covered with this video right here.
Gentlemen, all these videos I'm linking to down in the description.
[0:10:59] End of audio