Marvel has had plenty of attractive men and women long before the Marvel Cinematic Universe
with all of their handsome Chrises and in the 90s, they actually capitalized on this
by making the Marvel Swimsuit Special…
Because comics.
Hello and welcome to Because Comics, the show where we look at all of the unique, crazy,
and just straight up bizarre things that make comic books comic books.
I’m your host, Drake McWhorter.
So yeah, in the 90s, Marvel decided to make a little parody of the famous Sports Illustrated
Swimsuit Special with their own knock off.
However, the magazine ended up being so popular that they made not one, not two, not three,
not four, but FIVE of these!
I was actually able to find a few issues of the Swimsuit Specials for um… research,
NOT for personal use so I definitely think that I’m qualified to tell you what they’re
all about.
As you’d expect, these magazines featured multiple Marvel heroines all spread across
topical backdrops in scantily clad attire.
The results range from sexy to plain adorable like this page of Siryn singing with her father,
Banshee.
But don’t worry!
For all all of you lovers of the male physique, the swimsuit special has you covered as well
like Namor the Submariner’s loinshell, or Punisher’s whatever this is supposed to
be or dat Cap booty or uh… what the hell did they do to Cable?
Like seriously, what am I looking at right here?
What even is this?
My favorite though is Doctor Strange who apparently uses sorcery and literal demons to keep him
tan when it’s raining outside.
If you’re more into the dark side though, some villains even got in on the action such
as Venom and Typhoid Mary.
Most of the images even include some commentary, but like ninety percent of them are just…
awkward and uncomfortable.
Just listen to this.
“When the Invisible Woman said she was going to wear a see through swimsuit, I knew I shouldn’t
a got my hopes up!
Well, like they say, what you see is all ya get!”
Or this one…
“Look what my metal detector picked up on on the beach - ol’ Peter Rasputin a.k.a.
Colossus!
This guy saves a bundle on suntan lotion… but then again, he loses it on silver polish!”
...Or this one…
“Me-yow!
That Tigra’s one fine feline!
Wonder if she needs any help cleanin’ that fur.
Maybe I’ll ask after her catnap.”
Or this one…
“Sundown’s dinner time on Monster Isle, and it looks like Wolverine and Jubilee have
the right idea with their weenie roast, but someone should tell Logan to keep an eye on
those dogs - the plump when you cook ‘em, y’know.”
Ugh.
I feel like I need a shower after reading those.
Gross.
The magazines are very tongue in cheek, often including goofy images like this game of tug
‘o war, the Human Torch roasting hot dogs, or literally just a naked Ghost Rider which
may or may not be the only full frontal nudity that I’ve ever seen in a Marvel book.
Though no matter what silly stuff that Marvel tried to throw in to justify these magazines,
we all know why they were really made.
Boobs ‘n butts and uh… centerfolds…
Sexy sexy centerfolds…
Here’s the thing.
A lot of people would consider this to be pretty scummy so get this, Marvel actually
included in continuity reasons for this to happen such as Tony Stark hosting a charity
swimsuit photoshoot or Janet Van Dyne hosting her own shoot in Wakanda... during Black Panther’s
week long engagement party.
So yes, Black Panther’s party ended up just becoming a giant swimsuit fest.
There’s also the time when the guardians of the Infinity Gems called the Infinity Watch
decided to have a poker game.
Instead of money, the winner got to make their teammates their slaves for a day.
Well a sleazy character named Pip the Troll won and had his buddies use their Infinity
Gems for a party.
To make things even creepier, he basically mind controlled all of the superheroes into
relaxing and partying before secretly taking pictures of everyone for his quote unquote
“personal collection”.
Or how about this time when the Inhumans hosted a tropical party… on the moon.
No, I’m serious.
In the Marvel universe, there’s a blue spot on the moon with a breathable atmosphere so
the Inhumans temporarily used their technology to turn it into a tropical paradise.
And for the last one, the prince of the fictional island of Madripoor invited a bunch of heroes
into his kingdom to boost tourism.
In my readings though, none of these escapades were ever referenced in the main Marvel comics,
especially not the time when Pip the Troll kidnapped everybody since he literally wiped
their minds immediately afterwards, but he still kept the photos because just look at
this guy.
He is UGH so weird!
There really isn’t too much more to say because this was really just an excuse to
show off some Marvel skin, but it’s still one of the absolute strangest things to come
out of the 90s, but don’t worry, there is plenty more crazy 90s stuff and we’ve only
scratched the surface, the tip of the iceberg, on this show.
So if you want to see more episodes then by all means, please consider subscribing and
I’m really excited to see where Because Comics is going to go because there is a lot
of strange things, but if you want to see another video then why not consider this one
right here?
It’s a good one.
You might actually enjoy it if you like this.