- If you do what I share with you in this video,
they will come back.
If you don't do what I share with you in this video,
they will leave, they will not come back.
So if you want them to beg to come back,
you must watch this video.
If you want them to leave,
you must not watch this video, okay?
Because the tricks and the things I share with you
in this video will completely transform your energy,
completely transform your life.
Now, first off, I'm being kind of sarcastic in this video,
the very intro with the hook, okay?
Maybe I got you hooked in, maybe you're here now.
Maybe you wanna watch the video,
regardless, here's the truth of the matter.
When it comes to somebody
that you're afraid is going to leave,
somebody that might be kind of sending you mixed signals,
somebody that is kind of like,
not really emotionally there,
maybe they're not really bought into you,
or whatever that energy is.
The truth of the matter is,
a lot of times what is happening,
is you are replaying similar childhood dynamics
that feel very familiar and very comfortable
'cause when you were a kid, it may have felt the same.
It may felt just like that.
So in a way, it feels very familiar from childhood energy.
And a lot of times what happens is we attract people
to reflect back that same energy back to us.
So if you're playing the cat and mouse game
with somebody right now,
you're worried they're gonna leave you,
you want them to beg to come back with you.
The thing to realize about this
is there may be an abandonment wound that is there.
And for a long time, by the way,
I played around in this energy.
I felt very needy.
By the way, needy is the most repelling energy
that you can have.
I felt like other people needed to complete me.
I felt like I could tune to everybody else.
I had a lot of trouble setting boundaries,
and I would want other people's validation or approval,
and whoever I was dating,
almost like I was trying to prove it to them
that I'm worthy.
I was trying to prove it to them that I'm good enough.
And that would cause me
to create some pretty messed up energy.
What I eventually had to realize
is that I had this abandonment wound,
where I felt abandoned growing up,
where mom or dad physically or emotionally left.
And then I decided, and I made this belief,
that said, there's something wrong with me.
I also had this belief that people leave,
I also had this belief that people don't really choose me.
And that belief was on autopilot.
So then I would keep attracting people into my life
that would reflect back the belief that would say,
I'm not good enough, there's something wrong with me.
People don't stay, they leave,
all because there was an initial abandonment wound there.
That abandonment wound, by the way,
was also there because I was abandoning myself.
And by abandoning myself, that then displays an energy
that says that I'm not worthy.
There's something wrong with me.
So one of the best things I ever did
was I stopped abandoning myself.
And the answer to this video
and the thing that's really gonna help you
is a couple key things I'm about to share with you
that will completely revert your own energy.
Now, first off, stop abandoning yourself.
Pull your energy back.
Stop tuning to them
to get their validation, their approval,
or whatever energy is that you're looking for.
And to stop abandoning yourself
really may mean that you realize,
maybe you were choosing people that weren't choosing you.
Sometimes, it's kind of freaky
how much we realize that maybe somebody we're dating
is so much like our mom or our dad.
Because it just felt so comfortable.
It felt so familiar.
And the part about this whole video,
to understand with this energy,
is that attachment is the root of all suffering.
Attachment is the culprit here.
Attachment is the villain, in a way.
And the more attached we are,
the more we mess up the energy.
If you really want them to come back,
and you want them to beg for your energy,
you must let go, completely.
And you're not letting go
because then they're gonna come back,
and they're gonna beg for you.
If you want them to beg for you,
a lot of times as well,
that might be built on a, wanting like,
you really want their validation,
or approval, or something.
It's a little bit toxic, to be honest with you.
But the title made you click right? (chuckles)
And the way that YouTube works is like,
I wanna meet you where you are,
maybe that's what you wanna do.
And I wanna encourage you not to do that.
You don't want them to beg for you.
You don't want them to even,
you think you want them to come back
but what I'm trying to express to you here
is that there's a deeper core thing here.
And the deeper core thing here may be an abandonment wound.
You felt abandoned,
and then you abandoned yourself,
and you're trying to make everyone else happy.
Now you're trying to prove it to them that you're worthy.
I know for a while, in my relationships,
I would try to fix people I was dating,
which would imply they were broken, by the way.
But I would like,
my way of fixing other people was like,
okay, if I can help them out,
maybe I can help them with their business,
I can help them with this area of their life,
I can help them feel more like this way.
By fixing them,
I would then intend to make myself irreplaceable.
'Cause I would be doing, I could be going above and beyond.
I used to work at Nordstroms in women's shoes.
And I know I've never mentioned it
in a YouTube video before, first time ever.
I used to work at Nordstroms in women's shoes.
And guess what?
It was all about customer service
that went above and beyond.
And in relationships, I was trying to go above and beyond
because I wanted to be irreplaceable.
But guess what would happen?
I'd then mess up the polarity.
And it was also then I was just afraid,
everyone was always gonna leave.
So the key to this,
is really getting to your core
of the energy you're embodying,
knowing that if there's an attachment there,
you might be attached to this person.
And then you're gonna tell yourself a story
that this person is the other,
like this person is like completing you.
And you're gonna tell yourself a big story about it.
But you might realize eventually
that that story is very similar
to the childhood dynamics that you may have had active,
maybe very similar to mom or dad.
You may be trying to fight for your,
I know for a long time,
when I got out my ex-stepmom situation,
I know I've never explained that
in a YouTube video before either.
With the whole ex-stepmom situation,
that was controlling between seven to 15 years old.
When I finally got out of that, when my dad divorced her,
I kept attracting woman into my life
that were very controlling and manipulative, why?
'Cause that felt safe and familiar.
That energy was on autopilot.
We tend to attract people
that replay similar childhood dynamics, until we forgive,
until we forgive, really.
Forgiving, I had to forgive.
I realized that my ex-stepmom
was treating me the way she did,
and I had this big belief that's like,
I have to fight for my freedom,
it was messed up that this happened,
I didn't really have a childhood.
And then eventually,
I realized that my ex-stepmom is a narcissist
because her dad was the same way.
And she got the shit beat out of her,
and that's why she did that to my brother and I.
So then it helped me understand her more.
It helped me, and it didn't make it,
it was like, yeah, da da, yeah, da da.
In the way, it was though,
in a way, my childhood, I'm so grateful it happened.
Because it led to me becoming who I am today.
But back in the day, I was very angry about it.
And therefore I would attract people
that would reflect back that energy
that was active in myself.
So if you want someone to come back,
and you want them to beg to come back,
and you wanna know why they would come back,
I'll tell you right now,
that the best thing you could possibly do
is actually let go of them even coming back.
There's something that happens here energetically.
I don't even completely understand it,
but I have seen it happen thousands and thousands of times.
Well, not thousands and thousands of times,
I've seen it hundreds of times,
but I get messages all the time.
Probably thousands of messages about this exact thing.
Well, what happens is somebody is needy
and wants someone else's,
they go through a breakup,
or someone's pulling away,
they're like, oh my God, this person's pulling away.
Ah, ah, I hope they don't,
I'm gonna keep grabbing it.
I'm gonna ask them where they are,
I'm gonna try to like, make everything happen.
I'm trying to fix it, try to fix it, try to fix it.
And really that other person, they just want space.
So then what happens is I say, yo, listen,
I think you're messing up the energy.
And all you gotta do is pull your energy back.
And you gotta be in your own frame.
You gotta live your own life,
and be on your own path of integrity,
and realize you're enough.
And look at that abandonment wound
and stop trying to like over-prove yourself to other people,
and stop trying to please other people.
Bring your energy back.
Be the star of your own movie.
And then I see people do this.
And after a week or two,
it is incredible what happens.
Because a lot of times that other person
either tries coming back.
I've had this happen before,
where I had somebody in high school, actually,
that I dated for a period of time.
And then this person was not choosing me.
Actually, ironically enough, I was like,
we were in kind of a relationship.
And then she was gonna choose
to go to, like a dance,
with her ex-boyfriend or something like that.
I don't even remember it's been so long.
But I remember I felt like,
oh, not being chosen, actually she's,
and I was just okay with it somehow.
I was like, oh, this is okay.
And then she had plans to do that.
And then she got like,
I think like she had friends that was like,
that's fucked up or something.
But eventually what happened is, I moved on.
I realized, we broke up, kind of,
and then instead of being in the inbetween zone,
I started dating, and realized,
oh, I actually have options and stuff like that.
I was super excited in high school to have freedom
after my ex-stepmom wasn't in my life anymore.
I started dating someone else.
And then I stopped putting
and sending energy to this person.
And then all of a sudden, I get called.
And that call was practically this person,
wanting to get back together.
Practically begging.
When it was the complete opposite energy for so long.
So it's interesting.
Because what I did is I pulled back my energy,
I focused on my own life,
and a lot of that was just having fun with my friends.
I also started kind of dating somebody else.
But it was interesting because I pulled back my energy,
I put it into myself,
and I realized my own steps to self-worth.
When she called me, I was like, well, why would I do that?
Because you weren't choosing me,
and I was kind of over it at the time anyways.
But it's interesting
because when you pull your energy back,
and you put it in your own life,
and you become the star of your own movie,
you stop being the cameo in everyone else's movie.
And it works like magic.
But the thing that I wanna encourage you to look at is,
are you avoiding being the star of your own movie?
Are you avoiding shining bright like a diamond?
Like a diamond, huh?
Are you avoiding being a diamond?
Because if you're avoiding being a diamond,
then you might be letting everyone else
be the star of your movie, and you're just a cameo.
Oh, am I good enough?
Oh, that's needy energy.
Needy energy is cameo energy.
It's like, I'm the cameo in your movie.
And I need you,
I need you, Leonardo DiCaprio,
please complete me, complete me.
And you may even tell yourself a story
that this other person is Leonardo DiCaprio.
Or whoever, you literally,
we developed these crazy stories
that this person's on a big pedestal.
Oh my God, it's so amazing.
This so good, Leo, Leo, Leo!
It's not Leo!
It's a story in your mind.
And deep down, you may be trying to get the approval of Leo
because you're trying to get the approval
of mom or dad, okay?
There's a little core threads here,
that we're kind of weaving in and out, all right?
So one of the most powerful things you can realize,
if you're trying to get someone else to beg to come back,
is that that energy is coming
because you're trying to meet your inner childhood needs
that weren't met when you're a kid.
Boom, all right, first thing there.
If you want them to come back,
the key is not leaning in more,
trying to get them to come.
The key is to give them some freaking space.
To go within yourself.
Live according to your own integrity.
Enjoy your own life.
Being in your own body.
Feeling the separation between you and the wall.
That's called the frame technique,
if you've ever done that technique, it is so powerful.
You have very magnetic energy when you do that.
Because you're not tuning to others
to get your needs met.
When I started doing all this, by the way,
it completely changed my energy.
I stopped focusing on trying to change others,
trying to talk them into loving me,
into seeing my own worthiness.
And I started feeling worthy myself.
I started recognizing, within myself,
my own level of worthiness.
But for so long, I didn't feel worthy.
Why?
Because I didn't believe I was worthy
because I believed that the inner child,
when I was a kid, when I decided shame,
there's something wrong with me,
I then tried to overcompensate.
And I would then try to control
everyone else's perception of me.
Because deep down, I was trying to control
mom and dad's perception of me.
Because I didn't have a good, positive perception of me,
which screws up polarity a lot.
Haha, isn't that funny?
I know, right?
So when it comes to this dynamic of if there,
the energy to all of this, by the way,
is to pull your fricking energy back.
I know I've never said this in a video before.
Okay, I've never talked about the Nordstrom thing,
or ex-stepmom thing, and other thing,
just pull your energy back.
Pull your energy back,
realize your beliefs create your reality.
What you believe to be true
is being reflected back to you, all right?
If you believe you're not worthy,
you'll attract people that also don't believe you're worthy
and they'll probably walk on you.
If you believe that there's something wrong with you,
and people don't stay,
you're probably gonna attract people that don't stay.
If you believe that you need to abandon yourself
to make other people happy,
then you'll probably attract people
that reflect that back to you.
So the answer to all this,
is the pull your energy back.
Bring it back into your own body.
Begin to activate love within yourself
because that's how you actually attract love.
And then change your inner self-image.
Let go all of the old self-image.
Because one of the strongest human desires there is,
is to remain consistent in the way we define ourself.
Those are the words that I heard from Tony Robbins.
I say it all the time because it's so true.
Your inner self-image is being projected out.
People are responding to that self image.
So one of the most powerful things you do
is to change your self image,
feel love on the inside, and heal your inner child.
Why do I say these three things?
Because if you change these three things
or become aware of these three things,
your whole entire life will change.
I have three meditations below,
all three of these meditations,
the inner child meditation,
the attract love meditation,
and that of the self-image transformation meditation,
they're completely free.
All you gotta do is go to aarondoughty.com/meditation,
or click the link below, download those three meditations.
They're completely free.
And watch your life change over the course
of 21 days or less.
Also, if you wanna learn how to use the magic of detachment
and why this will completely transform your life,
one of my most popular detachment videos is right here.
Watch this video and it will change your life.
What I'm about to share with you
is counterintuitive to almost everything you've been told
about manifestation, about creating your own reality.
However, I would say it's the one major difference
that will completely transform your life
if you begin to apply it.