Sometimes I like to spend time contemplating and thinking about my life choices
What led me here, to where I am right now,
whether it was a right decision,
or whether my current vision of what’s “right” fits with my vision years ago.
I have to admit - it doesn’t.
I talk a lot in my videos about leaving the city and moving to nature,
surrounding myself with views that look like live oil paintings every day.
And I talk about it not because I’m trying to glamorize country life -
which, of course might happen sometimes,
when one looks at things through the eye of social media,
taking it at a face value and not realising the reality of things.
But I talk about it because recently, I’ve become much closer
to discovering who I really am
and I think this new way of living had a lot to do with it.
I’ve always lived in a city.
When I was little my parents quite often took me to a little patch of land
just on the outskirts of my birth town, where they grew fruits and vegetables of all kinds.
I didn’t understand much about nature and growing your own food as a child,
of course, and to me going out of the city equalled being separated
from all the conveniences in life I was already used to at that point.
Years later I moved to London, where I’ve lived for almost half of my life.
It’s the city which had anything one can desire -
an array of vibrant cultures, all sorts of events, foods, experiences one can imagine
right at the palm of one’s hand,
stunning architecture and beautiful parks.
It was busy and noisy and made my heart race -
which is what I thought I needed.
Until one day in 2020 when the city became quiet and empty.
And to my surprise.. I enjoyed it very much.
More and more I began to seek places where I can be alone.
A dream to live in the city centre was no longer,
and got replaced with the dream to live in the centre of nowhere.
Of course, this sounds a bit more dramatic than it really is.
Throughout my life I moved many times and lived in many places.
I haven’t spent more than 2 years in one physical location,
my heart always longing for change.
It was difficult to imagine a place where I’d stay grounded for a while
and if I’m honest, for the longest time staying grounded was a scary concept.
I think I really misinterpreted what being grounded means.
For the longest time I thought it would mean giving up on my dreams,
sometimes strange, and unrealistic, but so important to me.
I thought it would mean staying in one place
and not living a life of constant movement, which enriched my creativity.
But what being grounded really means, is staying present in the current moment
and connecting with the earth.
It means being here and now, wherever I find myself the next moment.
I thought living a full life was only possible in the city,
but I see now that a full life doesn’t depend on a physical location,
but rather the meanings and feelings you put into it.
I live surrounded by nature, which constantly looks like an oil painting that came to life.
It’s breathtakingly beautiful, but there are difficulties too.
I’m not going to portray it as an easy transition -
it requires good planning, figuring out the logistics of going to places
as there’s no public transport around,
and thinking about your living conditions,
finding the way in which you can sustain yourself
whilst living further away from big cities.
Sometimes it can also feel quite isolating and a bit lonely.
In this time, I’ve discovered many types of insects
that like to eat anything you plant
or sometimes find their way to your clothes and body
especially if you’re like me, whose favourite pastime activity
is laying in a field full of dandelions or sitting on a mossy trunk
It’s a change of pace I had to adapt to and learn to love
but it’s become exactly the type of life I needed at this time.
By living in nature you learn about the ways to protect it,
as by being allowed into a place like this we bear a responsibility to preserve it.
I think I still have so much to learn from nature
and from this new environment I found myself living in.
Is this the sort of environment I will keep living in for the rest of my days?
It’s too early to say.
But right now it’s what works for me,
makes me feel more creative and inspired every day of life.
Thank you again for spending time here with me today.
See you next time.