- If someone goes no contact on you,
the things you do next are very important
in understanding how you can switch the energy field back,
or completely let it go,
and allow yourself to be safe in your own frame,
not tuning to other people's energy
in order to need validation or approval.
And in this video, I'm gonna show you
exactly how to do that, exactly what to do next,
and exactly why this will change your life
more than anything else you could possibly do.
Now, no contact is, when you're dating someone,
you're maybe even in a relationship with somebody,
and then maybe things start to pull away.
Maybe for a while, things are going okay,
you're texting each other back and forth,
there's a certain type of connection,
but then what happens
is the energy starts to be pulled away,
and then like that sometimes,
there is no contact moving forward.
This person may not respond to voicemails,
not text back at all,
not show up at the same places they used to.
It's like the energy was there,
and then all of a sudden, it's completely cut off.
Now, with this energy, and with this thing,
what happens is many times people will feel
that somebody else energetically pulls away.
And then what happens is they then double down,
and they try to get the energy back.
They try to do, and they think in their minds,
something I'm doing is wrong.
Maybe there's even something wrong with me.
And if I do something a little bit differently,
then this person will actually come back,
and everything will be just as good as it was before.
Now, if that's the strategy,
I promise you what will end up happening,
you'll end up pushing them away even more,
because when somebody wants space,
and when somebody goes no contact,
what that means is they do want space.
It means that they are calling,
and they are asking for some,
that things that have been feeling a little bit too much
for different reasons, sometimes.
On one hand, maybe they're not ready for a relationship.
Maybe the intimacy is scary to them.
On the other hand, it could be that maybe the energy
that was being projected at them was too much,
and they just want space.
They started to feel too,
like there wasn't enough space
for them just to be themselves.
Or they started to feel like
they weren't being their own individual self,
so that may have scared them as well.
So there's two sides of that.
I think it could be sometimes people
that just don't wanna
become emotionally available or connected,
or sometimes it's just people,
and they aren't ready for that,
and sometimes maybe the energy
that was being projected at them
was just a little bit too much, so then they pulled away.
Now, the key to this
is understanding that the meaning you give
to why they pulled away
is gonna determine the kind of energy that you embody.
And what I'd like to encourage you to understand
is that all because they pulled away
does not mean that there's something wrong with you.
It does not mean that you're not gonna be happy.
The story you're telling yourself about that person
a lot of times, too, may be a story that is completely
either outdated, or a story that is just on autopilot.
I know for myself, I've had challenges in the past
where I would feel like somebody was pulling away,
and then I would internalize this
to mean okay, there's something wrong with me.
I'm not doing something good enough.
And then there was like this block,
and there was also this story
that this is supposed to work out, this has to work out,
and it's creating all this pressure in the relationship.
And the thing is,
is when we are energetically thinking of someone,
or we are,
we have a certain heavy story about someone,
we're projecting them energy, and they're feeling that.
So one of the best most magnetic things
you could possibly do in this circumstance
is to actually pull your energy back, pull your energy back.
If they go no contact, do not chase after them.
Do not try to get them to come around.
Don't think there's something wrong with you,
and if you did something a little bit different,
than they would stick around.
Pull your energy back, and focus on yourself.
Focus on what this means for you.
You don't have to give this a meaning
that says there's something wrong with me.
The thing that I realized
is when I was attracting people that weren't choosing me
is because there was a story that I had
that that's the way it works.
When I was attracting,
and in a space to where it was challenging for me
to let go of the old story,
it was because I was then becoming aware
that the old story was a story that's been on autopilot
since I was a kid.
And in many ways, the same dynamic that I was experiencing
in dating was actually more related to the parent dynamic
when I was a kid.
Because what happens is when we're kids,
there's familiar energy that is around.
And what we do is even as adults,
we try to recreate that energy.
We attract people into our lives
to recreate that same energy,
because in a weird way, it feels familiar,
and familiar feels safe.
So I'd ask you this.
If somebody goes no contact on you,
did mom or dad ever go no contact on you?
Did they just immediately pull back their energy,
to where then it just wasn't there?
And when that happened, if you were a kid, much younger,
did you start to wire in a meaning
that says maybe there's something wrong with me?
Maybe I'm not good enough.
If I could just prove it to this person,
then maybe they would invest more of their energy with me.
And what we're really doing
is we're avoiding the emotion of shame.
The emotion of shame is the emotion
of there's something broken.
There's something wrong with me.
I don't feel like I'm good enough.
And that energy, if we don't feel it,
and let it be there, and acknowledge it,
and become aware of it, will run our lives.
In many ways, for a long time,
I was what's called the people pleaser.
I would try to be a certain way
to gain other people's approval or validation.
And what that would end up is me overcompensating,
and the people I was dating, or the people I was talking to
would be like, oh this guy obviously doesn't feel worthy.
And it would also cause me to say,
okay, if these people feel this way about me,
there must be something wrong with me.
Maybe I can fix it.
Trying to fix the outside versus feel on the inside.
I believe that the no contact thing
is a powerful reminder for us to give ourselves the emotion
that we're craving in somebody else.
If somebody else goes no contact on you, you can realize
that it may be an opportunity
to look at some level of abandonment wound,
and to realize that the validation,
the approval that you're looking for in them,
you could start to feel within yourself.
You can realize that maybe there's an inner child
inside of you that feels not seen,
not heard when you were a kid.
And what you could then do
is realize that a lot of times,
when somebody goes no contact,
there's most likely, especially with no explanation,
most likely what is happening
is your own energy has already abandoned itself.
That's a form of an abandonment.
You may have, feels familiar from childhood,
but normally for that to happen, there's at some level,
you are already abandoning yourself.
Maybe you were even abandoning yourself
when you chose the person,
because there was something,
maybe they weren't emotionally available.
Maybe they weren't as into you as you were into them.
And becoming aware of that is key,
because then you can realize, wait,
I've been abandoning myself to make this relationship,
this dynamic work.
I'm gonna now pull in my energy, pull my energy back,
and I'm gonna put it more inside myself.
And for myself, when it come to attracting love,
the main key that changed everything for me
is when I stopped abandoning myself.
I started living according to the values that I chose.
I stopped living according
to putting on a pedestal other people's approval,
what other people think about me, their validation,
and above that, I put my own integrity,
my own authenticity, my own vulnerability.
And when it comes to no contact, there's probably,
if you feel like there's that abandonment there,
there's probably a level of shame.
And from that level of shame, the key,
the thing that changes everything
is when you start to become more vulnerable.
Vulnerable means you show your heart.
Vulnerable means you go into the wound,
and you allow it to be there.
You show the real you.
Now, normally people pleasing,
we're trying to do everything we can to not get rejected.
And what ends up happening
is we're avoiding believing that we're broken,
and there's nothing wrong with you.
If your mom or your dad emotionally took their energy back
when you were a kid,
if their energy was contagious, not contagious, conditional.
If their energy was conditional,
then probably what happened
is you didn't get the right report card grades,
something happened, you didn't act in alignment.
They cut it off cold turkey.
And then there's this belief, oh, I'm not good enough.
Love is conditional, there's something wrong with me.
And then you might have gotten into relationships,
and tried manipulating different situations,
people's perceptions of you,
and it just became so much energy, so much work,
but I'm telling you now,
the key to this whole entire process
is to actually pull your energy back,
and to stop abandoning yourself.
To start living according to your own values,
the values that I most encourage
are vulnerability and authenticity.
And when you live by vulnerability and authenticity,
you start living according to these higher ideals.
It is magnetic energy.
For a long time, my people pleaser version of me,
I'd be afraid to show women that I was dating
that I was interested in them,
sexually, not just as friends,
and that had me hold back, and guess what?
It would depolarize relationships.
I wasn't in my true masculine energy.
And then it was an energy dynamic that I just felt blocked.
Eventually, I realized it takes vulnerability
to express the real you.
It takes vulnerability to put your heart out there,
to show people,
and even for me to show interest,
there was a possibility there could have been rejection.
And that was something I was always avoiding.
I said, you know what?
I'm gonna go into this, I'm gonna be the real me.
I realized a lot of this stuff, by the way, from the past,
there was an experience in the past where something happened
where I then decided, oh, it's not safe to be this way.
Remember when I was like 12 years old,
I was at a park and recs place,
and it was like a summer school thing.
And there was this dance
that you had to be like 12 or 13 or older to go to.
And I go to this dance, and I asked an 18 year old out,
one of the teachers to dance with me.
'Cause I thought she was attractive, and guess what?
She laughed, and passed me on to some other 12 year old,
and she was dancing with some 18 year old.
And in that moment, I thought, oh,
it's not safe for me to express my real desires.
It's not safe for me to express what I want,
because I could get rejected.
And I internalized that rejection,
and saw, oh maybe I'm not good enough,
something wrong with me.
Not knowing at all
that maybe there's a six to eight year gap difference.
It was in my little 12 year old, 12, 13 year old mind,
I was like, there's something wrong with me.
I must not be good enough.
And then from that point going forward, I made the choice.
I'm not going to express myself.
I'm not gonna express myself in that way,
'cause I could get rejected, so I'm gonna play it safe.
I'm gonna be nice.
I'm gonna be a friend, but guess what?
The sexual polarity will be all messed up.
So what I had to eventually do
is to realize that the degree to which
I'm going to attract someone
that is in their feminine energy
is the degree to which I'm in my masculine energy.
It's the same thing for you if you're watching this,
if you desire a masculine energy or feminine energy,
it'll require you to be embodied
in the opposite of that to create that polarity.
And if you've been abandoning yourself,
you've probably been screwing up that polarity in some way.
Giving up that natural core of yourself
to be a certain way to get your needs met.
And one of the most magnetic things
you can possibly do is to pull your energy back,
to release the energy of codependency,
the energy of neediness, and realize that as you do that,
you are activating your heart center.
You're activating presence,
whether it's feminine or masculine energy,
presence is one of the most magnetic things
you could possibly have energetically.
So pull your energy back, and watch what happens.
Now, something that we have started,
and something that I'm excited to announce,
today is the first day
that the Magnetic Mastery Membership is open for enrollment.
This is a community of people
where we're all focused on one outcome,
becoming the most magnetic versions of ourselves
from the inside out.
Every single week, I'm gonna be doing live coaching.
Every single week, there's gonna be forms of accountability,
so that we can hold ourselves accountable.
There's gonna be thousands of people
all over the world in this community,
and we're all gonna be going towards that one focus
of becoming the most magnetic version of ourselves.
Being in a community is one of the most powerful things
I've realized in my life, so now is the time to join.
Now until Friday,
you can join the Magnetic Mastery Membership,
become a part of this high vibe tribe,
and we can all focus on this one outcome,
so that we can attract the love, the opportunities,
and really becoming the most magnetic versions of ourselves
from the inside out.
So if you wanna join, click the link below,
or go to www.join.magneticmastery.com.
Just click the link below, that'll be even easier.
And I will see you on the inside.
And other than that,
if you want a video that will show you
why when you let go, your energy becomes so magnetic,
and the five secrets to letting go,
then you could go and click this video right here.
It's one of my most powerful videos.
In this video, I want to share with you
five secrets to letting go
that will make you more attractive,
and that will completely transform your life.
And when you start applying them, it changes everything,
because you start realizing who you really are,
and you start letting go of what you.