shake it up we got to get on the
Internet good to be here I mean to go
viral you just need to throw up or
something about video yeah yeah my baby
threw up on me yesterday someone told me
that you're you you you brought your
baby here just backstage she's how old
she's I think if I can remember she's
what 14 or 15 months that's great Wow
pretty good and she came here for the
first time when she was two weeks old
which is called bad parent yeah Andy
came showed up cuz we're all good
friends you showed up with your newborn
yeah she was born it's a little brighter
and ran to the studio and started
handing her around to everybody and I
thought that was terrible
yeah she got a cold sore from Andy yeah
it sounded dirtier than I want I'm just
so glad I'm here to provide these you
know to be the one you can turn to
engage say this guy gave my baby a cold
sore lucky me well have we gone viral
yet cold sores are by their nature
[Laughter]
good one
Howdy's go Breezies everybody as I live
and breathe that name will never catch
it it'll catch on cones these are braces
we we pal around in real life we do
times we saw a movie recently it was by
accident it was by accident we both went
to I was playing hooky in the middle of
the day I was working on something and I
said I want to get out of here and
across the street they were showing once
upon a time once upon a time in in
Hollywood one guy didn't know what we
meant until Hollywood so I took some of
my crew and we just went across the
street and I was like I want to see that
movie again and you're there I saw you
in line for candy and we were like the
only people that were seeing the film
but just because it was playing it like
1 o'clock in the afternoon it was a dad
didn't have to work yes so we just sat
there watching the movie you bought a
ton of candy I did and when Brad Pitt
took his shirt off I leaned over to you
and went I regret the skittles and I go
right it's a superficial business are
you excited about the Oscar nominations
you keep up on that kind of thing
they're movies that are nominated they
that make it you feel like that
shouldn't be nominated I'm mad at that's
nominated not really I'm okay I mean I
in the way that they're I think Adam
Sandler our dear friend was absolutely
snub I thought yeah I thought his
performance was brilliant he would gems
did you see uncut it's fantastic you
guys see in the gems this is this is the
problem yeah yeah more of you need to
see uncut Jim it's really amazing yeah I
think they're worried that if they gave
him an Oscar he would pawn it and then
gamble the money but it was amazing he
was robbed but I know I think you know I
love movies I'm not too much of a critic
of movies III didn't get through the
Irishman even though III can see it I'm
sure it's an amazing movie I'm not
saying that I just couldn't get over De
Niro's digital face they put a young
face yeah on his current body yeah very
young face yeah and some people thought
it didn't quite match up and the
voice-over kept reminding you like I'm a
young man I'm a young man like it keeps
telling you like I'm 40 I'm 40 and I'm
like his face look 40 but you can't CGI
a body right it was still I see I can
feel people
and now let you can't make fun of movies
be like easy easy they don't like it
that's Bobby D I'm just saying he had to
kick somebody's butt in the movie yeah
and he goes over and he's like then he
had to pull over the counter he pulled
someone over to counter the poor actor
is like all right mr. DeNiro
when you're ready he's ready to like
jump so he can get him over and then
kick some once in there having two audio
mix it for the cracking of the
osteoporosis turned it off so you turned
it off but now you've noticing is that
true that in this town when you do
stand-up and you you mention an actor's
performance you not like it like a
Robert De Niro people in this town make
it sensitive well I tried to talk about
the Irishman onstage I thought it was
funny to say kind of walks like Gumby
which it is I think so he can be both he
can be a national treasure and kind of a
Gumby walk yeah can't it be both yeah so
I'm talking about it and someone heckles
me I'm on stage doing Santa van somebody
goes I've gotten this more than once in
Los Angeles some goes alright you make a
movie you think it's a bad movie you try
it it's hard to make a movie yeah it was
like sir that is not how this I'm
allowed to have an opinion about a movie
even though I've never made a movie like
that's not how the world works like if I
go to Burger King and I eat that Oreo
pie they have that taste like the box it
came in if I'm like this tastes like
crap the chef doesn't come out da guy
[Laughter]
come on up here I was in yeast to make a
cake to know that Joker wasn't for me it
just wasn't for you wasn't for you whoa
I'm the people do not like when you say
the Joker is not for you
how is it going in general stand up do
you enjoy being on tour do you like
being out there I do like it I get to
see the country yeah you love traveling
I do like it I I was recently in Denver
I'm on a stand-up tour right now and I
was in Denver it started in Denver I
don't know if you guys have been to a
city that has a higher altitude than
where you live but the people that live
in these high places
think they're pretty special everybody I
met in Denver was worried about me look
can you handle it
how you hanging in there spin air up
here can you handle it flatlander it's
not the moon anybody with a bowl over
their head everybody's doing fine yeah
but everybody I landed it their weird
Illuminati Airport yeah I took him left
in a mural of a forgotten massacre yeah
I called him uber uber driver was
terrified for me because it was so high
it was like there's two bottles of water
back there drink both of those bottles
hi out the to get both of those bottles
in you see level
and I was like I would like sir I can
handle altitude I arrived by aeroplane
you should have seen me 35 K in the sky
I wasn't just surviving I was thriving
yeah
another cry I watched Joker it was okay
[Applause]