- Are you still clean?
Yes.
I have six months clean.
OPRAH WINFREY: Six months clean.
[APPLAUSE]
Does that mean you haven't used at all
since you left treatment?
At all.
Yeah.
So when you sent her that email and said, if I use drugs,
it's your fault, what was going on?
I was mad and angry.
And I got my addict behaviors back.
And I was just, like, blaming her for everything,
blaming her for kicking me out, blaming her for everything
that's ever happened to me.
And I was just like, if I use drugs,
it's going to be your fault, trying to get to her
and make her sad.
But--
OPRAH WINFREY: But?
But I know that it was wrong.
And, like, I-- I don't know.
Our relationship has been rocky, but it's getting better.
I heard you say, Penni, you thought she'd go to rehab,
she'd get fixed, she'd come home,
and you'd have this wonderful life with your daughter.
Is that what you expected?
Yeah, I did.
I thought you put your car in the shop.
It comes out repaired.
And I thought that's what would with Chantel.
Obviously, it's not what happens.
Yeah.
What is happening?
I'm learning also how to take care of me
and what I'm doing wrong.
Because you've been a great enabler.
Can you see that, how you've enabled this?
- Yes. - Yeah.
Debra Jay is an addiction specialist
who has worked with some of the leading treatment
centers in the country.
She met with Chantel and Penni last night.
What did you want to say, Debra?
Well, first of all, I want to congratulate you.
You made some tough choices, and you stuck with it.
And a lot of people don't do that.
I'm so proud of you.
[APPLAUSE]
But I think you know that treatment isn't recovery,
don't you?
Treatment is discovery.
And sometimes, when you get home,
you hit a little speed bump.
It's not what you expected, right?
What kinds of things do you think you need to do to make
sure you have a solid program?
Need to go to more meetings and find a good sponsor to help
me and just try not to do it on my own
like I've been trying to.
Kind of underestimating the addiction.
CHANTEL DEAN: Yeah.
DEBRA JAY: Yeah.
OPRAH WINFREY: Are you concerned about relapsing?
Yeah. Every day.
Every day.
Do you still crave the drug?
A lot.
I do a lot, especially being home and running into a lot
of people and everything.
And are you concerned that your daughter
is going to relapse?
Every day, I'm concerned about it.
We take it day by day.
Day by day.
Which is what you have to do, right, Debra?
You have to take it day by day.
And I think what I was seeing on the tape is that the two of you
are focusing on each other.
You want mom to do things to make your life right.
Mom wants you to do things to make her life right.
What I'd like you to do is focus on yourself.
Make yourself right and take it one day at a time.
So, Penni, when you're looking at Chantel,
you want to think about what is she doing today,
and not just what she's doing wrong,
but talk to her about what she's doing right.
And for you, one question every day.
Am I being trustworthy today?
You see how different that is?
Then, will you trust me, Mom?
And I being trustworthy? - Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, because that's what we have control over,
what we're doing today.
And what it means to be trustworthy
is to work a program of recovery every day.