(upbeat music)
(slow music)
(knocking)
- You wanted to see me, Coach Desk?
- Yeah I wanted to see you.
Sit down.
What's with you missing practices, huh?
- Whatever okay, I don't need five practices a week
to tell me I'm the best player on this team.
- (laughs) Arrogant, huh?
Let me tell you a story.
I coached a girl once,
came from a broken home, lived 16 miles away.
Was using a friend's address as her own address
just to say she attended this school.
And not only did she walk to and from practice every day,
but she was busting her on weekends too.
And now she's in a lead guard at Yukon.
- Wow.
- Yeah, pretty inspiring, isn't it.
- No, I was gonna say that's really, really sad.
- What?
- Well no, it just sounds like she didn't have the resources
to be a star at the school she was districted for
so she had to cheat a broken system
and then work a hundred times harder
than everybody else just to get as far
as some people do by being born rich.
- No, I mean--
- I mean, that's exactly what it sounds like,
and personally I'm not interested
in living that kind of life.
- Okay, hush up.
Just hush up, okay!
Don't you wanna be a good team player?
Huh, don't you wanna be there for your fellow teammates?
- Yeah, I try to be.
- You ain't trying. - Yes I am.
- Let me tell you a story about a girl
who was really trying.
Once, when the team couldn't afford new jerseys--
- New jerseys. - No, new jerseys!
We needed new jerseys 'cause there were budget cuts.
She held a fundraiser by herself
selling cookies, crafts,
the clothes off of her own damn back,
all while fighting a debilitating illness
that turned her legs into jelly as she walked.
- Jesus. - Jerseys.
- So an insanely sick student fund raised by herself
without even your help.
- Well, I was busy at the time.
- To fund uniforms that the school
should be providing anyway?
That's awful.
Stop using this sad story as your personal inspiration,
okay, someone should help this girl.
- They are!
- Haven't you heard of positive reinforcement?
- Oh, positive reinforcement?
You think positive reinforcement makes champions?
Let me tell you a story.
- No, please don't.
- I coached a girl once, she had no eyes,
no nose, no ears, no limbs, she looked like an egg.
- So she could not have played basketball.
- She had no health insurance to help her,
no one to speak on her behalf, not even me.
She had reverse Benjamin Button syndrome.
- That means that she aged the way that all of us do.
- She never thought that she could last a season here.
Uh-uh, no way, until I screamed at her every day,
toughen up, toughen up you little piece of!
You look like an egg!
Her skin fell of 'cause I yelled at her so much
and she had to be rolled out
like Humpty Dumpty out of the court.
Now, she's in the lead guard at Yukon.
- What the kind of story is that?
- She beat the odds.
- Yeah, odds that you exacerbated.
- So what, it's just a little yelling,
I was taking a cue from that guy from Whiplash,
now he really knew how to on his students.
- That's not the takeaway from that movie.
- It's not? - Listen, if you want me
to show up on time to practice,
fine, but these stories make you
and everyone who cling to them sound truly terrible.
Okay, you should be fired.
- I've been fired from every job I've ever had.
Let me tell you a story.
- No, enough stories--
- I was once a little egg shaped girl.
I had to be rolled on out into the court.
- My mom's picking me up in like five.
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