Okay, okay, so we crossed paths a few times. So what?
Listen to this tosser.
How'd a nobody like you even get Banshee's attention?
Because I was Fate.
"Dr. Fate." I used to be Dr. Fate, okay?
Shut up.
It's true. It's not like I was the only one.
There have been a lot of Fates.
They're chosen by the spirit of Nabu.
Oh, yeah? Why'd he choose you?
Uh, why not me?
Six percent body fat, 20-inch guns.
Hell, I even took a magic class once.
STEEL MAXIM: So, I was going strong at the end of this 10k when I saw it...
Uh, him.
And at first, I thought he was God.
I just couldn't figure what religion.
And Nabu wasn't much of a talker, but when I had that helmet on,
it was like I didn't need to hear him at all.
Like, I knew what to do.
Let me tell you, I was hella hot.
Superhero-hot.
Banshee was sprung as soon as she laid eyes on moi.
(SCREAMING)
I mean, come on. Sure, she played hard to get at first.
But I knew that she knew what was up.
Oh, she knew.
Oh, yeah. She knew.
Oh, my God, they did it.
That was a sweet gig.
STEEL MAXIM: I mean, Nabu hooked me up with my own place.
Sometimes I 'd have to fight off hell dogs,
and, you know, some crazy demons.
But I spent most of the time dusting his knickknacks.
This dude had everything but a dead monkey.
(SNARLS)
But of all the junk, the thing that Nabu cherished
the absolute most was the smallest.
A shiny black card.
It had writing on it: "Get out of Hell free"
BRONZE TIGER: "Get out Of Hell free"?
It's crazy, I know, I read about it in one of Nabu's books.
Supposedly, if you have this card on you when you die,
you bypass Hell and you go straight to Heaven.
Oh, like a TSA pass.
-(G ROANS) - Yeah.
And a whole lot of blokes would be stoked to have a card like that.
Yeah, but only one person can use it, then it's used up.
All I know is that damn card screwed up my situation but good.
What do you mean?
I'd been there about two months, and it gets old.
So one evening, I hit this bar and I meet this redhead.
And she's so hot. So I said to her...
You don't know it yet, baby, but you just met your fate.
STEEL MAXIM: Cornball? Yes, but it works.
Especially when I bring her back to my place, right?
She had this girlfriend with her, kind of hard and quiet,
not really my type, but they were a package deal.
Like I'm gonna say no to that?
It started off great.
But after a while, I got a little suspicious
'cause the butch one hadn't joined in the fun yet.
I mean, who can say no to all of this. Am I right?
And I catch her red-handed boosting the freaking card.
I mean, who does that?
(GROANS)
And the only thing they took was the card.
Everything else was untouched.
Including me.
You think he cared?
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
He didn't even give me a chance to explain.
A couple of days later, I called up my girlfriend, and she was freaking.
She said people were looking for me, government types.
They were asking about the card. Like I knew where it was.
Anyway, she blocked me, so I called up my side chick, same thing.
Finally, I ran out of options.
So I changed my name and I've been lying low ever since.
Calling yourself "Steel Maxim," and stripping.
That's "lying low" to you?
It's called "hiding in plain sight," sweetheart.
Anyway, you gotta believe me, I had nothing to do
with the card, I swear on my life!
CAPTAIN BOOMERANG: Okay. So who's Dr. Fate now?
I heard Nabu picked some chick.
You get all that?