[ Cheers and applause ]
-Whoo-oop!
-Oh, wow. -Here's how this works.
...right here for you. There you go.
-Thank you. -We're about to have a party.
We'll each take turns spinning the Shot Caller wheel,
which will land on a random letter and number.
That letter or number will tell you which contact in your phone
will unknowingly be playing along with you today.
Because after you've spun the wheel, we'll have to decide
whether to send them a crazy text
that my writers have crafted or take a shot.
-Okay. -Are you ready?
-Yeah. -Are you down? Should we do it?
All right. [ Cheers and applause ]
Great. So, I've got some tequila for you.
And I've got some berry Ciroc for me. Okay.
I'll go first. I'll go first.
So let's see what the text message would be if I sent.
-Okay.
[ Laughter ]
-My writers are evil. -Oh, no.
-It's...
"You blocked me on Twitter. What the F?"
-Oh, okay. -All right. Cool. Cool. Cool.
Let's see. All right. Let me spin the wheel.
Oh, that was a bad spin. -Yeah.
-Okay. "F-1." Okay. Hold up.
Look at my phone. "F-1."
-Is this a "1" number?
-So it's the first "F" that I have.
-Oh, the first "F." -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so, let's go to "F."
[ Laughs ] Okay. -Oh, no.
-This is some trash right here.
Um... -Oh, no.
-My phone is doing that thing
where the last name is popping up first.
-Okay.
-So the first "F" I have is Ferrera.
As in America Ferrera. -Oh, no!
-Who was recently on the show. Um...
-Oh, wow.
[ Laughter ]
-Um, I think I'm going to send a text.
-Yeah! Yes, you should!
-Let's do it. -Yes.
-Hold on. Hold on.
"You blocked me..." So petty.
-I know. -"On Twitter.
What the F?"
She's so sweet, she'll probably take this so seriously.
-She's never going to talk to you ever again.
-She's absolutely going to take this so seriously.
Here are the receipts.
I'll cover the rest of our conversation.
-Oh, you did. -There you go. I texted it.
-Wow. -Boom. Boom.
-Wow. Wow.
Maybe send a little ambulance emoji or something.
-I know. I'm stressed. Okay.
Let's -- You're next. You're next. You ready?
-Okay, yeah. -Here's your text.
-I got it.
-[ Laughs ] "How much cash do you have? Need a favor."
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, wow. -I like that one.
Go ahead and spin both of the wheels.
And we'll see who you're going to...
-Okay. I'm getting drunk tonight.
[ Laughter ]
-Here we go. Here we go. That was a good spin.
-Thank you. -The muscle.
-It's never going to stop now. -I know.
-And on the -- Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
I love the... -I know.
-All right. Here we go. Here we go.
-All right. It landed on H-10.
-All right. Um...
-"How much money do you have? Need a favor."
♪ Unh, unh-unh-unh ♪
I'm so stressed about this America text, by the way.
-It's my -- Okay. So, it's Harry, who I --
-Styles?! -No. No.
We dated in high school.
So -- What is it?
"How much cash..." -Or you could take a shot.
[ Laughter ]
-What do you guys think? What do you guys think?
[ Audience shouting ]
You guys want me to do a shot?
[ Audience shouting ]
-Oh, wait. We've got some text.
-We got texters in the back. -Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
We got the evil people in the back. Okay.
-Make some noise if you want her to take a shot.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Make some noise if you want her to send a text.
[ Louder cheers and applause ]
-All right. All right.
You know... You could just -- Yeah.
-Yeah. There you go. Right there.
"How much bags do you have, Harry? If you're watching this."
Nora needs a favor.
-All right. All right.
-All right. Amazing. I'll tell you what.
I am so -- I'm so applauding your braveness
that I was going to take a shot on your behalf.
-Okay. -To you, Nora.
[ Cheers and applause ] Are you going to join me?
Well, then.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Nice. This is the one game where we don't follow the rules
and I just end up taking a shot. -I know. [ Laughs ]
-Now it's time for the lightning round.
This is gonna get intense. Are you ready?
This time, the stakes are higher.
You're going to have to randomly scroll
through your phone contacts, and whoever you land on,
you'll have to video call with your phrase.
So we're not text-messaging anymore.
We are video calling. -Okay.
-Okay? I'll go first.
I'm drunk. Okay. [ Laughter ]
It burns. It burns good.
-No, I know. It's berry Ciroc, isn't it?
-This is the worst text you could ever send someone.
-But yours is FaceTime.
-Oh, right -- Frig!
[ Laughter ]
This is the worst thing you could say to someone --
"I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed."
[ Laughter, audience "Ohhs" ]
-And is it like that game where you just say that?
And then you hang up? -We'll see, I guess.
-Yeah, all right. Let's do it. Yeah.
-Okay. I'm gonna randomly go through my phone.
Okay, wait. Let me just get to my contacts.
You tell me when to stop. You ready?
-Okay. -Here I go.
-Stop. [ Laughter ]
What is it? Who is it?
America Ferrera, isn't it? [ Laughter ]
It's America Ferrera. -No.
-Who is it? -It's Ken Jeong.
-Oh! [ Cheers and applause ]
-Should I take a shot or should I video call?
What do you think? -Video call!
You're all disloyal! -I know.
-Okay?! [ Laughter ]
Turning on me. Like fine, fine!
I'll video call. I'll video call.
-I'm ready. I texted Harry, so...
-He's pretty chill, I feel. Right?
-Yeah. No, he's great. Yeah.
-Okay, I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed, Ken.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Okay. -He's gonna take that.
-Okay, give me one second. -He'll take that bad.
-Okay. [ Clears throat ]
"I'm not mad, just disappointed.
I'm not mad --" [ Clears throat ]
Okay.
-Am I in it? -I want you guys to see it, too,
so I'll cheat this way.
You hide yourself first. -Okay, I'll hide myself. Okay.
[ Laughter ] -Shh.
-Hey! Sorry to interrupt you.
Sorry to interrupt you. I just really wanted to call you
and let you know that, Ken, I'm not mad.
I'm just disappointed.
-Huh? -No, I'm just --
I'm just really disappointed.
I heard the news and -- I'm not mad.
Everyone's been messaging me all day about this.
I'm just -- I'm disappointed that you did it, honestly.
-Okay, all right. I'll do your show.
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
[ Cheers and applause continues ]
-I'll do the show! -You'll do the show?
-Yeah, I'll do the show. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Yeah, Ken, come now. [ Cheers and applause ]
Hi, Ken!
Hi, Papa Fina. -Hi!
-I love you. -Thank you so much.
We're drinking! -Love you, Nora!
-I love you. -I love you.
Congratulations! -Thank you.
I love you. [ Cheers and applause ]
-All right, Ken.
Bye, Ken. -Bye.
-A single tear. Bye, Ken.
-Oh, my goodness, he's so sweet! -He is so sweet.
-I do want him on the show. -Yeah, he should.
-He should be on the show. -Yes.
-All right. There's one card left.
It is your turn. -Okay.
-I'm gonna read it to you, and then we're gonna
scroll through your phone. You ready?
-Yep.
-This could be based on a true story, I don't know.
-Okay.
-"I just crapped my pants on a red carpet."
[ Laughter ]
-Okay. Yeah. Sure, yeah.
-That's -- Who hasn't? [ Laughter ]
-It looks like I'm calling from the carpet, too,
just from the lights, and the --
-All right, you scroll. I'll tell you when to stop.
Ready? Okay.
Stop! [ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Okay.
It's Constance -- Constance Wu. Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-So, wait. Do you want to --
Do you want to take the shot?
Or do you want to do the video call?
-Call. -Call! Call! Call!
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll call.
Okay. Okay. Here we go.
All right, here we go. All right.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Okay.
"I just crapped my pants..." -Okay. All right.
-"...on the red carpet." Here we go.
-Here we -- Hi, Constance. Hi.
-Hi. Congrats. -Thank you. Thank you.
I just crapped my pants on the red carpet.
-Did it smell? [ Laughter ]
-It was a -- You know, there was --
It was a -- No, I mean, it was fine.
It blended in. [ Laughter ]
-It was a red poo? -It was a red poop.
Anyway, I gotta go. Um...
I'll just call you back, uh... soon.
-Okay. I love you. I hope your butt feels better.
-Thank you. Thank you. [ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
-That's all the time we have for "Shot Caller"!