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Hey, what’s up everybody,
we’re back again for another video.
This is Stephan Labossiere
aka Stephan Speaks.
And today's topic
is the 3 reasons why
a man shouldn’t chase after a woman.
Now I know
for the women who are listening
some of you got your ears wide open
and you’re probably not even feeling the title so much.
But there is a very good explanation
and there are very good the reasons why
a man should not chase after a woman.
Now, let me say I know that we
who are believers
like to look at the scripture
of a man who finds a wife finds a good thing.
You know I’m not saying it completely correct.
But that doesn’t mean a man who chases after a woman.
But we’ve taken this scripture
and we’ve used it to validate this idea
that the man is supposed to chase
or this idea that men are hunters,
so that’s the reason why men are supposed to chase.
But no, pursue yes
and pursue and chase
it can be different.
Yes, it can be a little wordplay there
but understand that
yes, a man should show interest.
A man should basically throw his hat in the ring
and he should show an effort to get
to know a woman and all these things.
But chasing,
to chase someone is like something is running away from you
and you’re still trying to go after it.
A woman making you jump
through all these extra hoops.
This is not healthy.
This is not good
and this is not a set up for a great relationship.
So, let’s get to the specific
3 reasons why
a man should not chase after a woman.
As always before we do that,
subscribe to the channel,
be sure to like the video,
share this
with your friends and family
and whoever else.
And be sure to leave your comment on
whether you think
men should chase or not
and how you see this whole situation.
But let’s get to the 3 reasons.
Reason number one,
there’s a thin line between
desire and desperation.
What do I mean?
I mean that
when you are chasing something,
you end up going into this
mentality or this...
you end up looking desperate in a lot of situations.
This is not attractive
to most women.
The woman who’s happy with this man
chasing her like that
there’s something else going on there
and we’ll get that in reason number two.
But understand that in most cases
when a man is chasing after a woman
it’s not a good look on him
and he starts to lose the respect
of that woman.
Now, some of you may have seen examples of men
who chased after women and after years
or whatever, finally got her
and now they seem like a happy couple.
I’m sorry to say but in a lot of the situations,
I’m not saying all,
but in a lot of them.
It wasn’t as if she truly
fell in love with this man because
his chase showed her so much.
It’s that she realized
I don’t really have a better option anymore.
I’m getting older,
you know, let me just give this guy a chance
or he’s worn me down
to where I’m just going to give in
to his advances.
That all sounds bad
and you know what? It’s because it is
and that’s the reality of them.
A lot of these situations
where the man is constantly chasing the woman,
so understand that yes,
a man should show desire,
but when it starts to look like desperation,
you’ve crossed the line
and that is not a good place to be.
Reason number two
why a man should not chase after a woman
is because how you start
is typically how you finish.
Now, what do I mean by that?
I mean that
in a lot of situations where
the man has to chase after the woman...
This is something that I really want the men to understand
and embrace.
When you are made to have to chase
after her initially,
you are typically going to end up in a relationship
where the onus is always on you
to make more of an effort.
Where she is always on such
a high of a pedestal
that is expected for you
to make it work,
for you to do this,
for you to do that.
Where she gets to sit back
and wait
for your actions every single time.
Now, again,
this is a set up for disaster
because in any relationship
where you see this one-sidedness,
you are headed for
horrible things
and you’re headed for that man
is essentially getting burnt out,
creating resentment in that relationship,
animosity, and all kinds of negative energy.
Because there’s not a mutual effort.
That’s the key.
When you want a healthy, happy relationship,
it’s about a mutual effort from both parties,
both the man and the woman
have to work together
to build something amazing.
But when a man is chasing
or on the flip side, if a woman is chasing a man
everything is off.
Everything is off and you’re headed for disaster
every single time.
So, understand that,
that’s a huge red flag.
Also,
what you have to understand about women
and of course, I never want to say all,
but a whole lot of them
is that
if a woman makes you chase
there’s only two reasons why.
My opinion, this is happening.
Reason number one,
she’s not that interested in you.
She may be on the fence,
she may think there’s certain good qualities
about you but she’s really not sold
on the idea of being with you.
And not sold in the way that
if you simply
presented a couple more things you'll be good no.
She’s just not feeling it.
Like from the inside of her
it’s just not there whether it’s a lack of attraction,
whether it’s just something that's just missing.
It’s not there,
but she may allow you to chase
because she wants to see it.
Maybe she can finally turn that corner
and actually walk into this
and make a relationship happen with you.
The second reason why
a woman will make you chase
is because she has her walls up.
She’s been hurt,
she’s been through some stuff before,
so, essentially there’s some emotional damage there
and because of that,
she wants you
to show her enough for her to feel safe
to now put herself out there,
and embrace being with you.
Now, for a lot of women right now listening,
you may think well, that makes perfect sense.
There is nothing wrong with that.
No, there’s a lot wrong with that.
Here’s the reason why.
If a woman has a wall up
and you’re waiting for the man
to show how great he is.
This is a woman who is always on guard,
so what will happen is this.
Even if the man shows enough
for the woman to feel like she can embrace this,
the minute he does anything,
anything that remotely looks
like anything that she’s been through before
or looks like any kind of semblance of a red flag.
She’s running back behind her walls
and we’re back to square one.
She is so easily triggered
because she never healed
from the issue.
She’s just waiting for you to give her
enough reason to try
to climb over her wall.
The other thing that can happen is
the more you do well,
the more she becomes skeptical of you.
The more she thinks this is too good to be true.
Again, you can’t heal her
and her lack of healing
is going to block her from her ability
to fully embrace
whatever your true intentions are
or you being a really good great guy
who truly loves her.
So, this idea that you can just
chase her and convince her
and essentially emotionally beat her down
because that’s what you’re trying to do in a lot of ways
for her to finally accept that you’re really about her.
It’s not going to happen
or if it happens
there’s going to be a lot of unhealthy
factors and foundational pieces in place
that’s going to set things up
for bigger problems later.
So, not the thing to do
and let’s gets to number three.
Number three, well, you know what?
Before I get to number three
let me just tell you that all these reasons
and a whole lot more of information
is in my book, where is it? I’m sorry.
He Who Finds a Wife.
Now, some of you all probably didn’t know
I have a book for men.
I actually have two books for men.
I actually started off by writing a book for men,
but either way,
it’s available He Who Finds a Wife.
You can get it click the link below,
click the link in the comments
or just go to hewhofinds.com.
It’s there to help the men
but I'm going to tell you a lot of women have read this book
and also gained a lot from it
and have loved it.
You can check the reviews on Amazon.
I’m telling you you’re going to enjoy it,
but I definitely want the men to check it out
He Who Finds a Wife.
So, let’s get to
reason number three.
Reason number three is because
when you have to chase after a woman
it becomes an unnecessary distraction.
Listen, when you are chasing after something
you start to get tunnel vision,
you start to overlook red flags,
you start to
allow things to fall to the wayside in your life
that you need to be focused on.
And let me tell you something.
God does not want you so focused
on a woman that you’re forgetting
what you’re supposed to be doing for you
and in your life.
So, it can cause a lot of problems
when we’re in the mindset of chasing.
Again, when we’re building something
with a mutual effort with somebody
that’s great, that’s amazing, wonderful thing.
But when it’s a one-sided affair
and you’re the one putting in all the work
and you’re the one trying to convince them
to give you a chance
and convince them to be with you,
you are putting yourself in a very
dangerous position
and it is more than likely
going to shoot yourself in the foot.
It’s not going to work in your favor.
So, understand that it is unhealthy
for you in your personal growth
and what you need to be accomplishing your life.
But as I mentioned in reasons number one and number two,
it is unhealthy for the potential relationship
that could come
from this chasing because yes,
sometimes a man who chases
catches the woman,
but then he ain’t happy on what he caught.
And then we got a whole another problem in our hands.
Now we got people married, getting divorced,
or having miserable marriages,
having toxic households,
because the foundational pieces were never there
to have a happy and successful relationship.
So, again, those are my three reasons
why a man should not chase after a woman.
I want to hear your comments,
I want to hear what you think.
So, leave them below.
Be sure to subscribe
and thank you for watching my channel.
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