Hey, guys.
So yesterday was Thanksgiving, and the day before that, I went to the market to go buy a turkey because I like market turkeys better
than homemade anyway and partially also because I was too lazy to cook, oh, and also, I don't know how to cook.
But anyway, as I was at the checkout counter checking out my turkey...
Wow, really? No one this time? All right.
That's what she said!
Really?
She said it. So you know...
Anyway, as I was checking out, minding my own business, this old lady comes up behind me and feels the need to preach to me.
And your total is 21.50.
Oh.
Having a Thanksgiving dinner?
Oh yeah, it's for tomorrow. How about you?
I'm vegan, so...
Yeah, I just don't really believe in the whole slaughtering animals thing. I mean, really, you should think about it.
There are a lot of documentaries online that you can watch, and it is just disgusting.
I mean, what gives a person the right to decide whether an animal's life...
And at that exact moment, right then, right there...
That's when I realized this cashier did not even have my back. He didn't say one word.
Thanksgiving is just sick, immoral, and wrong.
Yeah, no, I-- yeah, no, I'm probably still gonna get this turkey, so...
Okay, so maybe I didn't say that last part to her, but I think vegans are awesome.
They don't eat anything that has to do with animals, which actually saves a lot of animals...
For the rest of us. Even though I can't stand when people try to force their beliefs unto other people, that old vegan lady
kind of had a point, and it's kind of messed up to say out loud, but when I think about it,
I actually don't value an animal's life as much as a human.
I mean, I love my dog, but if there was a r-- stop! Not anymore!
I mean, I love my dog so much, but if there was a car
that's about to hit a person and a dog, I'd probably push the person out of the way instead.
But if I did that, I'd probably get hit by the car too, and that would suck.
I mean,
I'd probably just do the logical thing, and as the car drives by, I
jump into the moving car's window, force the driver's foot down on the brake till it comes to a complete stop, grab the cell phone
he's texting on, toss it outside, shift it into reverse,
run the phone over, pull out my arsenic, inject him in the neck, shove the body outside of the car, put it back into drive,
and steer it away from the man and just hit the dog so that I could save his life.
And then I'd probably have to run him over as well because he just witnessed me kill a guy and run over a dog just
to save his life.
But the point is I would save the man's life over the dog and then have to kill him.
As I was saying, I always saw myself as like an animal lover,
but I guess I never realized how little society actually values their lives compared to ours. Think about it. If a human kills another human, he
ends up in jail. If an animal were to even harm a human, it wouldn't go to jail.
We'd probably kill it. In fact, most of our pets that we love the most are pretty much already in jail. Take dogs for example.
We lock them up so they don't run away. They only eat when we tell them to. And if you have two dogs,
I mean, they might not be in a shower.
But there's always that one dog that likes to hump the other one. Even people who love animals the most like
zookeepers, if you think about it in an animal's perspective, they're pretty much just a warden of a big jail that profits off of their prisoners.
So overall, I guess what I'm really trying to say is I
get it now. And to the vegan lady standing behind me in the market, thank you.
Thank you for helping me open my eyes and realize that animals really are
a lot less important than I thought.