Hi guys, I'm Stevie and I've never told my coming-out story before
Well, I grew up in a really religious place and I was a little bible thumper myself and I was
like the person that in Sunday school people would copy off of me and like my answers and I like studied the Bible and
because I'm me and
F*cking love arguing and debates. I would get into religious debates with people at school. I remember always
arguing with people that were anti-gay and used the Bible and I remember like making all these arguments about
how Jesus never said anything against gay people so
If you eat shrimp, then you can't hate gay people like little 13 year old me. I was a really late bloomer and
I never was really interested in boys and then
People just called me a lesbian a lot. I would dated a bunch of boys, but I wouldn't kiss them and
they would break up with me for it and I
Literally could not care less that they broke up with me and then I would see all of the girls in my school
Be so heartbroken by boys breaking up with them or boys not giving them attention and I never gave a sh*t
And so I thought I was a sociopath
Before I thought I was a lesbian
Like the idea of gay because gay equals bad according to Christianity, and I'm not bad
So the idea that I could be gay never even crossed my mind the idea that I could be a sociopath
was more
Realistic to me than the idea that I'm not attracted to men
So then I started dating a boy and he told me what orgasms were. I was like can anyone have one and
He said well boys can have them by themselves
They can do it to themselves and girls can do it with boys, but girls can't do it to themselves when they're alone
And I was like you are an authority figure on orgasms because you just told me what one was that?
I never heard of it before so I believed you and when I was 19, I had such a sweet wonderful boyfriend
Well, I told him what the guy had told me
I was like, yeah, it's kind of weird that like you can do it when you're alone, but I can't and he goes
That's bullsh*t
You can do it by yourself and I was like, really?
And I remember the first thought that crossed my mind when he told me that girls could orgasm by theirselves
My first thought was why do we need boys then?
So then I went to college and me and my boyfriend broke up and I had this
Philosophy 101 class and there was this boy in class who we would pass notes back and forth and make fun of our professor
but I never really talked to him face to face and then I did she was like, yeah, I'm a girl and I was like
And I had a crush on her and then I started hanging out with her more and I was like
F*ck I have a crush on a girl
But I'm not a lesbian
Like I'm so straight. What am I gonna do? I I can't have s*x with her
I would never enjoy it and then we had s*x and I came out the next day
So my idea of falling in love as a kid was not this like
Romantic idea. It was plans. I was like, I will be pregnant and married by 18
I will have three children by this age when I pictured who I would marry it was like a
Nameless faceless man outline in a suit. Now the way that I
picture
Falling in love and
Meeting someone I want to share my life with and make plans with has changed so much
when I was envisioning marrying a man I was
Adopting when I was told I should want and what I was put here on this earth to do
make babies and be a good wife to my husband and
Being set free from that. It's almost hard to even remember what it felt like to think those things
Because I'm not here to make someone else happy
I'm here to make myself happy whether the person I marry is in a suit or a dress
she will be a woman and
the joy that that idea gives me is
way more than
Any feeling little Stevie had picturing
a
male figure on a white horse
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So thanks for watching my coming-out story coming out for everyone is so different and
you should never feel pressured to come out when you're not ready or
To do it in any way that's not you. Those of you that are out
Hey babies, to those of you that aren't yet. We'll be waiting here for whenever you're ready