(clapping and banging table)
♪ Buddy you are a boy ♪
♪ You are boys ♪
♪ Buddy noise ♪
♪ Noisy boy ♪
(all applauding)
- Hey. - You.
- My. - Name.
- Is. - Thomas.
- TomSka (chuckles)
- Ridgewell.
- And.
(clock ticking)
- Welcome. - Back.
- To.
- [All] Content.
(all laughing)
- Like it nearly broke me, just at my name.
(all laughing)
- So today, I thought it was time
we had another little threesome.
Where we make a video with all three of us
What did you think it meant?
That's dirty.
Today I thought it was time to over share,
but in reverse,
with the oversharing answering question game.
Fuck.
What I'm trying to say is,
today we're gonna be playing
Answers and Questions.
Q and A. Yeah.
(Elliot snickers)
A Q and A but answers--
- [Thomas And Eddie] A and Q.
- Yeah.
Today we're gonna be playing A and Q.
A game where we give each other the answers,
and then we have to figure out
what the questions are.
Whoa.
We're gonna be revealing some very personal information
about each other, to each other, now, on cam.
Play along at home.
What's your score?
Don't comment it 'cause I don't care.
- Come, go.
- 6,720 meters.
- How big your dick is.
(giggling) - Yeah.
- Big cum, long cum.
- Biggest cum I've ever done. No.
(imitating bottle popping)
(Eddie laughing)
- Charlie, grab the tape measure!
(laughing)
- Charlie!
- Look out!
(laughing)
- How far away you are from home right now?
- No, I am not gonna tell them.
(laughing)
It's pretty easy to figure out
where our office is.
So I'm not gonna be like,
Here's the exact radius of where I could live.
(laughing) I'll give you a hint.
It is--
It is a distance,
but not in the way you're thinking.
Thank you for both coming down
to my height level as well.
Oh, no, don't.
Guys, come back.
Guys.
(Eddie humming) - Eddie, wait, no.
The highest you've been,
while still being on the ground, kind of.
(Eddie laughing) Not ground.
Not ground, but still on a solid surface.
- No, I know what you mean.
No! It was the exact height I was at
when I had my first kiss. On a plane.
- Ooh - wow
- In the loft.
- Oh.
- Or attic.
- Oh.
- The last place you got locked in?
(all laughing)
I don't know.
The last place you masturbated?
- No.
- Oh, good.
(chuckling)
(Elliot making bumping sound) - Like a little gremlin
up in the attic.
(groaning) (laughing)
- It's the wanky demon again.
(giggling)
- I can only wank it from high up.
(giggling)
I need more elevation.
- The Shard really turns you on.
(giggling)
- Ah, we got nothing.
- All right.
It's--
Where I found my dad's porn collection.
- [Elliot and Thomas] Yay!
- But I don't know why he kept them.
(chuckling)
- You're right, we still don't have
porn mags in our office.
(laughing)
- I mean, what else do you do with a porn mag
if you're not prepared to like,
put it in a bush outside the school, or a park.
Then, you have to keep it.
- You can't chuck 'em away.
- No, you're not allowed to throw porn away.
- You can't recycle them.
- You have to add them to the natural order of things.
- Yeah.
- Three kilograms of gummy bears.
- The last thing you bought on Amazon?
- Fuck!
- Wow.
- What? - Yeah.
(laughing)
I have to say, yeah.
- Didn't even get to shove--
I didn't get to suggest that you put them up your butt.
- Honestly, that, I was aiming for that.
But you got it straight away.
- What are they for?
- Eating. - oh
(laughing)
- The KKK.
- The last group you got rejected by?
oh, wow. I mean, good?
- Yeah.
- But, no.
- The name of your school group,
your little friendship group?
- You pop quiz team name?
- You're so close.
- The cool cat crew?
- You are so fucking close.
- Your name of your band in school?
The name of--
(laughing)
- I'm just gonna. You're so close, so that was--
- The name of your school friendship group?
- It was the name of my tree house.
- You had a tree house?
- Yeah, it was in my garden.
It was really more of just a shed.
- That's usually where trees are.
(laughing)
- It was a shed on sticks, but yeah.
And I was like, I called it "The KKK".
"The Kool Kids Klub".
Completely out of childhood ignorance.
And no one at any point went,
Oh, let's not let him write that on the side.
- So your parents were just like,
"yeah, he's joined the KKK."
(laughing)
- "Ay, fuck, I mean he's gotta have a hobby."
- I learnt it from a porno.
- Hand jobs on yourself, masturbating?
- Ew.
(laughing)
- Um.
- Yes.
(giggling)
How I learned to masturbate.
- What?
(laughing) - Because like--
- You found porn before you masturbated?
- Yeah. - Oh, I guess I could.
(laughing)
- Yeah, well I was obviously much younger, and like,
I didn't know what wanking was.
I remember trying it in the bath once and I just peed.
And I thought, "Oh, is that it?"
- Don't put that in.
(laughing) - Wait you peed in the bath?
- Don't. Don't put that in.
- Are you ready boys?
- Oh, I'm ready boys.
- White.
- Cum. Your cum.
(laughing) Is your cum white?
- You said that like, with such desperation.
You're like "oh, I thought I was the only one."
(laughing)
- Are you sure it's not cum?
(Eddie laughing) I can't believe it's not cum.
- What is cum?
- It's a good question.
(groaning)
- I quit.
- It's my least favorite type of chocolate.
- Oh.
What about poison chocolate?
- What?
- Here we go boys.
(drumming on table) - A toaster.
- The last thing you broke?
- No.
- The last things the dogs broke?
- No.
- The last think you bought?
- No.
- Where do you put the bread?
(laughing)
- What did you last fuck?
- Yeah, no.
Like, in a way, you're close, as was I.
- The last thing you had a sex dream about?
(snaps fingers)
- It wasn't really the last thing,
but I'm gonna accept that as an answer.
When I was seventeen years old, I had a sex dream,
and the person I was having sex with
just turned into a toaster.
- Oh
- And then I was fucking a toaster.
- Oh!
- Yep.
(giggling)
- How many holes was in there?
Was it a four slice, or a two slice?
- I guess, it was a one slice, for the sake of the dream.
- A one slice toaster?
(laughing)
- Yeah. It was discount. From Argos five pounds.
- You haven't got big self esteem here.
- No.
(laughing)
- Once, but I didn't like it.
- Made a baby?
- True, but no.
(laughing)
- Dirty talk? Dirty talk?
- Not dirty talk, no.
- Give 'em a little slappy slappy?
- Mm-mm.
- Flicked your balls?
(laughing)
I quit!
- Me too.
- Tasted my own.
- Oh.
(Eddie laughing)
- I had to. I hid mine once.
- You hid yours?
- My mum walked in the room,
literally two seconds after I finished.
I just went--
That was the best I could do.
- There are so many other places.
- I panicked!
(laughing)
- Just put it in your pocket, or throw it on the floor
like, just like--
- No, 'cause then you have to deal with cum in your pocket.
(laughing)
- Better than in you mouth.
- No, my mouth is the perfect receptacle.
It's just like gone now.
- I hope you never get caught with like, hard drugs.
(laughing)
All right boys, my answer is,
a silly photo of Tom's face.
- Oh, the last thing you came on?
- Hm.
- What's on your phone right now?
What's your phone background?
- Dammit.
- That was real fast.
(laughing)
- Look at that silly picture of my face.
- You can't see it, oh, you can see it. Yeah!
- I'm gonna do this, just so the footage
can't be taken out of context too much.
I'm attracted to kids.
- Sorry, say it one more time for me.
- Okay.
(laughing)
- I'm attracted to kids.
- Your worst fear?
- No! I don't wake up every day going,
"oh, God, I've--
Oh, whew, I thought I was
attracted to kids for a minute there."
- Yes, and you're not,
but your worst fear is that you've become?
- Oh, jeez. I mean, that would suck!
But no, that is not my worst fear.
- The title of your first vlog?
(laughing)
- Oh, I do know.
- You do know?
- How you broke up with someone.
The worst way you broke up with someone.
- That is correct. - Oh.
- I'd broken up with my first girlfriend,
and she kept being like, "We can work things out."
And the way I just tried to get rid of her
was just be like,
"I'm just attracted to kids."
- It was--
(laughing)
- Eddie. - Eddie.
- Once, but I lied about it.
- Wore a condom, hence Rick?
- Nope.
(laughing)
- Oh-ho.
- Oh. - Jeez.
- No.
- Murder?
- No.
- I'm just gonna go ahead and say,
you're never gonna guess it.
- No.
- Have I ever pissed in a cup and then
(chuckling) sucked it up with a vacuum cleaner?
Basically, when I was a kid,
I was in my bedroom and I wanted to pee.
And I couldn't be bothered to move.
So, I peed in a cup.
And then I thought, "Oh no, I have--
Now, I've got pee in a cup."
So to get rid of it
I had the fortune of having the vacuum cleaner in my room.
I just sucked it in the vacuum cleaner.
And then later, my mum emptying the vacuum cleaner,
accused me and said,
"Why is, why is this wet?"
(laughter)
I was like, "I don't know."
- How old were you again?
- She, she thought I put my dick in it, so.
- Oh, well I guess piss is better.
- Are you ready, kids?
- Is it when you last came?
- No. - Oh.
- Late last night in my bed.
- I'm gonna stick with my original question.
(laughing)
- When you last had an existential crisis?
- No
- When you last cried? - No.
- When you last pooped? - No.
(laughing)
- Last time you sharted?
- Nope. - Yeah, I'm done.
- Okay, I quit.
- The last time I watched Netflix.
- Oh, fucking. Such a bitch.
(laughing)
Such a big bitch!
- A tiny Bible.
- The last thing you put up your butt?
- Mm-mm.
- The weirdest thing you've eaten?
- Mm-hm.
- You don't kind of eat a Bible.
(laughing)
- Uh, you can.
- Weirdest thing you've thought about eating?
- You put in your mouth?
- Mm-hm.
- I think we've reached a point where the Bible,
in some form, in some manner, entered Tom's mouth.
- Mm-hm. - But.
No, I guess the biggest issue right now is tense.
- You're going to eat a tiny Bible?
- Oh. No.
- That's your plan?
(laughing)
- The weirdest thing you've eaten today?
- You're currently eating a tiny bible.
(fake vomit noise)
- Tiny Bible, in my mouth!
(laughing)
Wow, wow, wow boys!
I think we've learned a lot about each other now.
What was your favorite fact
you've learned about each other?
My favorite fact.
- That you ate cum.
(laughing)
- And a Bible.
Was that to like, to counter it?
- Yeah, I needed to wash my mouth out with God.
Fuck man.
What do we? What do we--
(yelling)
Well, please make sure to suggest
some more content ideas in the description, comments.
(laughing)
I'm gonna go. Bye.
(laughing)
Bye lads, I'm off.
Oh, this was a bad plan.
Oh, bye everybody.
- Yay!
(chair crashing) - Ah! Fuck!
(laughing) Ah, you cunt!
Right on my fucking arm.
Oh, don't you do it as well.
- Woo!
(laughing) - No