- [Interviewer] Who broke your heart?
- My dad. My dad broke my heart.
- [Interviewer] How did he break your heart?
- That is a really deep kind of conversation.
He actually took my mom's life and his own.
So yeah, he broke my heart.
(gentle music)
- [Interviewer] Who broke your heart?
- Wow. Hitting it home with the hard questions.
- [Interviewer] Who broke your heart?
- (laughs) Many people.
Many people, many places, many things.
- [Interviewer] Who broke your heart? Who did it?
- Who hurt me?
Do I have to say their names
or just kinda like talk about it?
- [Interviewer] I mean, if you wanna.
- (laughs) I'm not gonna name them.
- (laughs) You know what? Fuck it.
His name is Kenai.
- Mavery. - Emily.
- Sam. - Jim.
- Evan. - Amos.
- Alejandro. Argentina, 2010.
- No way? - Yeah.
- [Interviewer] How did Alejandro break your heart?
- Not wanting to continue a long distance,
multi-country relationship.
- [Interviewer] Who broke your heart?
- Who broke my heart?
- My heart's really been broken?
Well, maybe my first husband.
- I split with my husband of five years about a year ago.
- [Interviewer] What did he do?
- I don't know, I stayed for too long.
- My first wife broke it pretty good.
She was just cold.
Very, very cold.
- Yeah, thanks for cheating on me with (laughs)
thanks for cheating on me and making it pretty obvious.
- He fucked a whore.
- [Interviewer] Are you still with him?
- Oh no, we're done.
- The relationship in general wasn't good.
It was a lot of infidelity on both ends.
- I caught her cheating on me at the mall.
- I mean she cheated on me in my apartment.
- Really? - Yeah.
- [Interviewer] What did that feel like?
- It sucked a lot.
- Yeah, and it just kind of went downhill from there
and I realized we just had really different values.
- He cheated on me on my birthday. (laughs)
- What? - Yeah.
- [Interviewer] Got anything you want to say to him?
- It's all good.
I'm in a better place now.
Better relationship.
- That's good. - Yeah
- I've done most of the heartbreaking.
(interviewer gasps)
- I would say I'm the heartbreaker.
- I don't know that anyone has actually broken my heart.
I typically do that, which is really embarrassing to say.
- It was my first relationship.
I was checked out, they were terrible.
Dropped me off a home and they were like, "I love you."
And I was like, shut the door.
- It ended really bad.
- I had some commitment issues
- Looking back, I definitely wasn't the best at times.
I definitely made a lot of mistakes, too.
I definitely could have been kinder in the relationship.
- [Interviewer] Who broke your heart?
- My ex, for sure. - What did they do?
- Oh, they raped me. So, yeah.
- Jesus. - Yeah, it was really bad.
So yeah, he kind of destroyed my entire life.
- I'm sorry. - This is so corny,
but I feel like honestly, like,
my dad did probably before any partner could.
I don't know, I feel like there are those cringey posts
that are like, "My dad broke my heart before any man could."
And like, I don't wanna sound like I have daddy issues,
but I have daddy issues.
- Substances took the place of me being his little girl.
- That's what I wanted.
You know, a dad who could take me to sports
and come support me with music.
But it just never felt like he loved me.
- It's caused other heartbreaks
with other men down the road.
- It affects validation throughout your whole life.
Breaks you constantly, rather than just once.
- [Interviewer] Interesting.
Can you tell me about who's broken your heart?
- Ooh. - Who broke my heart?
Who did it?
- A couple people, I think.
- Never did.
- [Interviewer] You've never had your heart broken?
- Heart broken? No.
- No. - You don't think?
- It's probably gonna happen
but I really don't want that to happen.
- Well, it's going to happen. - I know
- My ex-girlfriend, she just dumped me,
saying I was too nice.
- Are you too nice? - I think so. (laughs)
- The most recent was friend breaking heart.
- [Interviewer] What did your friend do?
- I had a very close friend admit to their partner
that they had feelings for me. - Oh.
- We had to end the friendship.
- We don't talk anymore.
- I was putting a lot into the friendship, you know,
and they were taking a lot out.
- Then they just started getting weird about it
and when I wanted some closure,
they decided that they didn't wanna speak at all
and they felt that me trying to
find some closure on it was uncomfortable.
- [Interviewer] Who broke your heart?
- (laughs) Oh, that's a weird question.
- Myself. (laughs)
- I'm known for being very hard on myself.
- Definitely could have loved myself a bit more growing up.
- You hurt other people
and you break your own heart in the process kind of thing.
- [Interviewer] Who broke your heart?
- My family.
- [Interviewer] Your entire family broke your heart?
- Well, not everybody in my family.
- Neither one of my parents were really present,
so that sucks.
- They don't support my decisions,
they don't support anything I do in life.
- I feel like the person
that's broken my heart the most is my mom as a kid.
Like my mom's told me, "I love you, but I don't like you,"
more than I should hear.
- During COVID, we sort of had ideological differences
that drove a wedge between her
and sort of the rest of my family.
- Told her about being hurt by a family member
and she did not believe me,
even though I've never lied to her
and she just didn't trust me.
- [Interviewer] Who broke your heart?
- Oh, who broke my heart?
I was 14.
- [Interviewer] Was that your first heartbreak?
- Yeah, it was. - Yeah.
- I think he's the first guy that I really into.
He broke my heart. - Young love.
- The fact, just that he was my first love.
- I like really, really loved him.
- At first everything was so good.
Ended up not being the person that I thought he was.
- Kept a secret from me for like a year,
like a year and a half.
The whole time that we dated.
- It was quite a shock.
- I dated him when I was 19.
He was my first kiss
and he ended up hooking up with,
'cause we worked together,
he ended up hooking up with somebody that we worked with,
and then her friends- - That fucker.
- Yeah, exactly. Fuck him.
- [Interviewer] What does heartbreak look like for you?
- Heartbreak looks like a lot of nothing.
- It kind of feels like defeat.
- Pain. It's just not feeling good enough for someone.
- Kind of feels like glass shattering, I think,
into a million different pieces.
- Heavy, cold weight in the chest
and a tight ball in the throat and it hurts.
- [Interviewer] Who broke your heart?
- Oh God. My ex-girlfriend.
She's Irish. Yeah. (interviewer laughs)
- [Interviewer] Why did you say she's Irish?
- Just 'cause. - Is it because she's Irish
that she broke your heart?
- No, but now I'm biased
and whenever people say they're part Irish,
I'm a little hesitant, yeah.
- [Interviewer] Do you think there's going to be a day
where you don't feel heartbroken over it anymore?
- To be honest, I think the moment I cut off contact,
I was no longer heartbroken.
- We're getting better now.
It took probably about 10 years.
- Find happiness in other places.
You don't question as much.
- From that day on, I've been in a lot of therapy (laughs)
dealing with, technically, abandonment issues.
- [Interviewer] What do you do
when you're feeling heartbreak?
- Write break up poetry. Order Instacart.
- It's a lot of crying. (laughs)
A lot of crying.
- We go out and get really drunk. (laughs)
- I get high and I watch sunsets.
I snuggle with my cats.
- [Interviewer] Have you forgiven them?
- I did. I did. - You did? Why?
- I just wanted to be the bigger person.
- Yeah, we're pretty good friends to this day.
- But I still really care about him
and I want the best for him
and I know that he'll find someone out there.
- [Interviewer] But like, not right away?
- Not right away.
Just a little time. - Yeah.
- The last person I dated, he's like,
"Oh, well turns I wanna explore polyamory."
I'm like, "Oh, okay."
And he was like, "Yeah, I've been thinking about it
for a while, actually, like months ago."
I'm like, "You knew I was a monogamous person."
If anything, I'm gonna add this.
He is currently unemployed, living with his parents,
and got small dick for a 6'4 man.
(laughs) Okay, I'ma stop, I'ma stop.