21 - Destroy,
• Every young boy just wants to have fun, as long as it has nothing to do with those
icky girly things, such as kittens, dresses and flowers; especially flowers, I mean damn
those things are so girly it just makes you want to destroy them.
• Well, actually, that’s not necessarily a normal response to coming across a flower,
maybe just leave the poor thing alone?
Or at the very least you shouldn’t look so happy about destroying it.
• Although it could also be the fact that he simply wishes to destroy everything in
existence, if that’s the case his happiness is totally justified: who doesn’t get a
smile on their face from the thought of destroying reality itself?
20 – Breaking out of the Grave,
• Death is an unavoidable consequence of life, everything that comes to be must also
stop being, or in layman’s terms: if it breathes it will stop breathing.
• So it’s no wonder that this child has issues coming to terms with the inexorable
crawl of death and what may or may not come after it.
• Or Graham’s parents just really like The Walking Dead and figured that letting
their son watch along with them would have absolutely no consequences whatsoever.
19 – ‘Wrestling’,
• Ah yes, the ages old ‘no I swear it, we were just practicing our wrestling moves,
nothing adult was going on here, nothing.
At.
All.
• Seriously though, maybe you should double check that your son is sleeping before you
get all kinky on that shit.
• Also, does his dad call his partner ‘Bich’?
Like there’s a few ways you could read that out loud, I’m just hoping it’s not the
first one that came to my mind since ‘Bitch’ seems far from an appropriate word to call
your partner around your son.
18 – I <3
Satan,
• Well obviously the radical religious types were right, them vidya james and TV shows
are brainwashing our youth to worship the unholy being best known as ‘Satan’.
• We need to start indoctrinating our children to know of the ever loving holiness that is
Dolan.
• Or they’re just getting Santa and Satan mixed up.
• Just kidding that’s a cop-out, these kids are completely fucked in the head.
17 – Dancing on Mummy’s Grave,
• Mummy and Daddy have had many disagreements over the years, but now that she’s gone
I hope that we can be civil about our past ordeals.
• Or instead we could just dance on that bitch’s grave, because she was such a horrible
person that couldn’t do anything right, I mean, she refused to wrestle with Daddy
that one time and that’s why she had to go.
16 – I Collect Her Hair,
• All young people show their love in differing ways: I for one hid in the bushes while she
walked to school and that was completely fine back in my day, or at least that’s what
gramps taught me.
• But this kid went way too far, collecting someone’s hair without their permission
crosses the line and it makes everyone involved super uncomfortable.
15 – Being Bashed to Death,
• Nothing is going wrong in this kid’s life, obviously everyone’s been bashed every
now and then and if it occasionally got to the point where one of our peers got bashed
six-feet underground then that was their fault, right?
• On the other hand, this could be the result of a broken home with an angry parent hurting
their child, which is totally fine: if they don’t get punished they won’t learn proper.
14 – Atheism,
• If you’re not with us, you’re against us; this line of thinking has no logical flaws
whatsoever, so it’s no surprise that when this kid found out that their teacher doesn’t
believe in Jesus they immediately assumed that they would go to hell.
• But in all seriousness, how does this kid even know that their teacher is an atheist?
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this teacher wears a fedora with pride and
euphoria.
13 – He is Risen,
• Looking at this image you might think it’s referring to Christ coming back to
Earth and there’s nothing creepy about that at all, right?
• Well this assumption falls apart when you realise that heaven is above and the devil
is bellow, you don’t ‘rise’ from above, you descend, ergo, this child worships Satan.
12 – You Will Die,
• I talked earlier of the unavoidability of death, even joked about it, but somehow
I doubt that this kid has completely come to terms with mortality, well I hope not at
least because otherwise I’ve got the willies.
• I mean, it’s a death threat – from a child – and if that isn’t an early sign
of a serial killer then I have no idea what is.
11 – Get out of my Life,
• Speaking of serial killers, here we have a kid that is completely normal and well-raised;
there’s nothing wrong with wanting to severe the head of someone you know.
• Unless it’s with an axe; that’s a serious problem, luckily he wants to use a
mailbox to kill Valerie. 10 – Kill Leprechaun,
• What has leprechauns ever done to you, little Jimmy?
Did it steal your lucky charms and leave you without that sugar hit you need to get through
the day?
• Either way, we’ve got a serious problem here, unless it’s that leprechaun from the
horror movie, in which case, why the hell is Jimmy watching horror movies, eh?
9 – Drawings From War-torn Children,
• These drawings came from kids from completely lovely areas that absolutely no one would
ever want to flee from in order to save their lives.
• Sarcasm aside, you know that these kids have seen some shit when they want to draw
someone shooting another person in the groin, that just ain’t right.
8 - Vore,
• Rapunzel is a strange lass, she loves long walks down the beach, she likes guys
with pretty eyes, hair-dressers, oh, and she also likes being eaten by big green guys.
• Or at least that’s what this kid thinks, maybe they shouldn’t browse the internet
so thoroughly, some fetishes aren’t meant to be seen by anyone.
7 – Bent Over,
• I don’t know what this is meant to be, but it sure as hell doesn’t look pleasant,
I’m really hoping that this was all a big hoax and it was drawn by some mentally disturbed
forty-year-old.
• If that isn’t the case, holy balls this drawing is creepy as all buggery, I don’t
know what this kid is taking, but I certainly don’t want any.
6 – Letter to Hell,
• I’m going to assume that the reason this young’un thinks
that his Dad is in hell is because his family told him that was where he was rotting.
• If this is true, I really hope Joey gets some closure soon, because I’m pretty sure
there’s no way to send your letters to Hell.
5 – Knife Party,
• There’s no innocent explanation for this drawing, a group of people with knives
and bloody corpses on the floor outside of a strangely specific coffee shop just screams
‘My mum and I murdered some people over coffee and we were happy about it.’
• But at least they’re happy, I suppose.
4 – Suicide Door,
• Try as I might, I couldn’t think of any nice reason a child would know what suicide
is, even if you take that aside, the word ‘victums’ (misspelling aside) is also
a word that no kid with any sort of innocence should be aware of.
• Someone should call child protection services or something, or I guess I’ll do it after
I finish my pizza, maybe.
3 – Christmas Dream,
• Earlier we had some drawings that could have easily been the result of not knowing
how to spell Santa, but this leaves far less room for imagination.
• There’s one of two possibilities here, either the kid has a twisted view of what
Christmas is, or they’re so screwed in the head that they always misheard ‘Christmas’
as ‘Death Miss’.
• Considering that Christmas is written above I’m going to go with the much more
disturbing former option.
2 – Slender Man,
• There is zero room for interpretation here, this drawing was found in Morgan’s
belonging’s after the police went through them on suspicion that she intentionally murdered
someone.
• Turns out that suspicion was correct and that she and her friend became murderers in
order to appease the fictional monster ‘Slender Man’.
1 – Imaginary Friend • So basically this is a picture diary from
a young girl that has no friends, so she makes up an imaginary friend that looks suspiciously
like a tormented spirit that wouldn’t look out of place in a horror movie.
• Her father and her teacher both said Lisa doesn’t exist and got cross with the little
girl for believing in such things.
• Then both of those people disappear and Lisa claims they are sleeping like her father,
who happens to be ‘sleeping’ under the ground near her sand pit.
• This could all just be a little girl that snapped because of social isolation, but then
that doesn’t explain how Lisa gave her some presents on her birthday, spooky, right?