I have this friend who’s handsome and smart and knows a lot of stuff.
There’s just one domain he’s lost in: girls.
He never knows when she’s sending him the “I’m into you” vibe, so I thought I’d
help him and other guys who don’t know if they’re an alpha or a beta in a girl’s
eyes.
First of all, let’s see what this whole “alpha-beta” thing is all about.
In the animal world, the alpha is the highest-ranking individual in their social group.
By the way, it’s not only males that can be alphas!
It can be a female animal or a male and a female making up an alpha pair.
Alphas enjoy certain privileges: They are the first to dine and get the best piece,
and they also have the right to choose the best partner.
How do they get that super status?
Mostly by showing extraordinary physical strength or building alliances with others to support
them when they run for alpha.
I am not giving you this biology lecture all for nothing!
When I asked my male friends to describe a human alpha, they gave me nearly the same
characteristics.
It’s some kind of a hunk who doesn’t hesitate to demonstrate his physical strength and gets
all the best-looking girls.
Yeah, sometimes more than one!
First of all, it’s about height.
According to a 2014 study by Rice University and North Texas University, 48.9% of ladies
do care a lot about this and prefer taller guys in both lab experiments and real-life
dating.
It’s typical to associate physical height with higher social status, and it’s a subconscious
thing.
Second, it’s about the voice.
It’s a natural thing for us to see guys with lower, more masculine voices as older,
taller, and more dominant.
I did some research on this one, and it was once again proved by University College London
in 2013.
The third thing that makes a male an alpha is his face.
I won’t deny that girls like rugged and wide manly faces because on a deep subconscious
level we all analyze if a man has good genes to pass over — even if we don’t plan to
marry him and have kids with him.
In 2017, a group of psychologists from Goethe University Frankfurt went further with this
idea and analyzed how the ratio of facial width to upper facial height affects people.
It turned out that the higher this ratio, the more testosterone the guy has and the
more powerful and self-confident he is.
When I heard all that, it made me really uncomfortable.
Because, you know, it can’t be just about the physical characteristics of a man!
Yes, there are guys whose huge amounts of testosterone make them a natural alpha, and
girls fall for them easily.
But there are also other things — and trust me, they aren’t physical! — that make
a guy an alpha and a man girls are attracted to.
The good news is that you can learn to be an alpha and cultivate these qualities in
yourself!
As you do so, remember this one important thing: Girls don’t want to be conquered
and struck by your masculinity.
We want to be allured.
I personally always feel the difference between an alpha and a beta guy, and it has to do
with self-confidence and presentation.
To make things easier, I put together this list of signs that a girl sees that alpha
male in you.
1.
She’s trying to make you happy.
I’m not talking about a happily ever after or a girl trying to please you.
It’s about subconsciously trying to show you her best because she cares about your
approval.
When I’m around a guy I find attractive, I start playing with my hair: flipping it,
twirling a stubborn lock, or just going through it with my hands to fix a nonexistent flaw.
I bite my lip and look at his lips and make eye contact to let him know I’m into him.
I look at him, then look back, and then go back to him.
By the way, if you ever notice that a girl has dilated pupils when she looks at you,
it’s a clear sign she likes what she sees.
Dr. Stuart Steinhauer says our eyes are a mirror that reflects what’s going on in
our brain, so physical attraction can be read in them.
And remember how I mentioned that a man’s voice is an indicator of his masculinity?
Well, we girls can also use this tool!
If you notice that a lady talks in a different tone to you than she does to others, it’s
a good sign.
She’ll try to sound softer to please your ear.
2.
She’s genuinely interested in you and is fully present when you’re around.
Parties where people spend most of the time on their phones have become normal these days,
but if a girl puts her Instagram aside and focuses on you, she must be really interested.
And if she not only looks at you but listens and tries to learn more about you by asking
questions and dropping in a few lines about herself, she’s trying to impress you as
well.
By the way, when you feel like you’ve caught her eye and ear, use this time wisely to show
her your best.
A true alpha doesn’t have to prove how awesome and successful he is because it’s about
attitude and confidence.
So don’t brag.
Play it cool.
This doesn’t mean you can’t tell her a few things about your job or hobbies or mention
that you have certain goals that keep you busy and motivated.
One important thing I’d like to stress here is don’t lie or mention things you know
you can never achieve.
Don’t say, “I’m going to make $1,000,000 a month by next year!” unless you mean it.
Girls don’t like lies, and we sense when someone starts making things up to seem cooler
than they truly are.
3.
She wants to see you and doesn’t hesitate when you ask her out.
An alpha male doesn’t get rejected by girls.
If you want to be like that, remember that it’s not just about what you offer her but
what you do.
If you approach her with confidence and directness, she’ll feel that masculinity she’s been
looking for.
Own your intentions, and don’t try to pretend you’re less interested in her than you are.
When a girl catches your vibes, she won’t say no to hanging out.
She’ll most likely smile and say, “I’d love to!”
And if she can’t, she’ll invite you to reschedule the meeting.
4.
She tells her friends about you.
If you are out with a girl and run into her friends and she says something like, “And
that’s Steve I told you about!” and they smile back and go, “I see!” it means they’ve
talked about you.
Girls love to share with each other, and, let’s be honest here, brag a bit.
I wouldn’t tell my girls about a guy who was a complete disaster and then see him again.
So if you’ve become a subject of discussion and the girl is going out with you, she must
have felt those alpha vibes you were sending out and proudly told her friends all about
it.
5.
She initiates physical contact when you’re in public.
When I like a guy I just met, I’ll start thinking about how to break the “touch barrier.”
You know, that awkward feeling when you meet someone new and want to let them know you
wouldn’t mind letting them into your personal space.
I use a hug as a goodbye move, but it could also be something like a pat on the shoulder
during a conversation.
Even sitting next to the person in a group of others speaks volumes.
No one, girls and guys included, wouldn’t want to get close and personal with someone
they don’t like.
6.
She’s active in your social media.
Social media today is much like what used to be balls and galas in the past.
It’s where people meet each other, chat, and indicate their interests.
If she’s generously liking your stuff and leaving comments to approve of your picture
to start a discussion, she’s clearly letting the world know she likes you.
She wouldn’t do that for a beta or omega — she’d leave all the liking and commenting
to them.
If she sends you her picture — and I don’t mean something bad here, just pictures she
didn’t post for everyone to see — she is clearly trying to show you more of her
life.
That’s a great sign too!
Can you think of any other signs a girl sends out when she’s spotted an alpha?
Let me know in the comment section below!
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