People have a general idea of insanity or craziness or madness
that they associate with the idea of schizophrenia.
It's kind of an idea of wildness,
not so much what psychosis might actually be
but more of an idea of violence or just being crazy.
My name is Esme Weijun Wang, I attended Yale University
and Stanford University and I have been diagnosed with
schizoaffective disorder bipolar type since 2013.
Before I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder
I had already been in the mental health care system
for quite a number of years. I'd been diagnosed with depression
and anxiety since I was about 15 or 16, and then I was diagnosed
with bipolar disorder in my late teens.
When I was finally diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder
I felt a great sense of relief.
It's quite common for people to go through a number of diagnoses
before they reach their final diagnosis.
And I think that part of the reason this happens is that
schizoaffective disorder in particular, but also the
schizophrenias in general, is a rather stigmatised diagnosis.
And so often doctors will resist that diagnosis
for as long as possible. So they start with the
quote unquote, "easier diagnoses". They might start with depression
and then move on to bipolar disorder as they did in my case.
People tend to think of schizophrenia in a way that they don’t think about
other mental health diagnoses.
When people think about depression, they often think about the person
that has depression as still themselves.
When they think about schizophrenia they tend to think about this person
who is who they were, but then kind of scooped out and removed
and replaced by this awful disease and the person who used to be there
and was a good and normal person is gone.
They're possessed as though by a demon, as though in the movie
The Exorcist.
Except instead of a demon, they're replaced by schizophrenia.
Because people think that there is a kind of possession involved
in schizophrenia or the schizophrenias,
they also believe that the person has no autonomy over themselves
and no right to make decisions over their own care.
Therefore, forcible treatment or forced hospitalisation
becomes necessary.
I think that in order for schizophrenia and the schizophrenias
to become less taboo in culture there need to be more stories.
I think that people need to come out about their diagnoses,
there need to be more narratives about what the diagnosis means.
But there also needs to be better treatment and if there is better
treatment, if there are more stories, if there are more narratives,
If people can know that there are people all around them
who have this diagnosis, I think stigma will decrease.
I use my accomplishments, I use the way I dress,
I use my relationships all as ways to prove,
"Look I'm still a worthy member of society even though I have
this severe form of mental illness."
This also means that I'm part of the problem when it comes to looking at
people who are perhaps less quote unquote, "high-functioning".
The person on the bus who's screaming, the houseless person
who has lost their job because there is something very wrong with them
in terms of their mental health.
And I know that, that is me
dealing with the stigma as well, the self-stigma.
That is their diagnosis, as well as mine.
I would like people to understand that it's possible for you to know
somebody who has schizophrenia or some form of the schizophrenias
without you knowing.
People with that diagnosis, like me, are everywhere and we are living
lives that are full and wonderful
and we also like blueberry pie.
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