(relaxed music)
(animal whimper)
(chill hip hop music)
(cat purring)
- Aw yeah.
Aw.
Oh so many purrs.
You're such a perfect kitty.
(horn blows)
- Ha, good joke Mom.
Purrfect.
Hey guys, Meemers here.
So I'm doing okay, Mom and Dad did bring me,
(funny licking sounds)
to Canada.
They did have to do tons of quarantine stuff
to get me in and out of the country but they did it,
and I don't know what it's for because I'm a cat.
So I don't know what planes are
and I don't know what countries mean.
It was really strange.
I was on this thing, it was loud.
And it was like 18 hours and no one would let me poop
and no one gave me water and I'm just happy to be home.
- Good morning everyone. It's like 7 am in Tokyo.
And we are heading to get some breakfast.
We're super jet lagged.
It's what we usually do is we go for Sukiya
and Simon is pretty tired.
- Hey, my gosh how do I do this thing again?
So I think we're supposed to press the record button
and then I talk to this machine as if it's a person.
Hello people that are watching our videos.
It's been a very long time since we've done something.
We've had a good recovery and I think now
we're ready to eat some Japanese food.
- [Martina] This is really neat.
I've never seen anybody refill--
Cool.
- Oh this is cool.
- [Martina] Right? (cow groans)
- Am I allowed to look here?
- [Martina] I don't know, it's so cool.
Okay let's go and get some food
- Yeah food, I got distracted.
- [Martina] I wanted to show you guys
(cow groans)
these cool stickers.
I have not shared this with you guys.
But I actually go around collecting all these stickers.
I take photos of them.
Yeah that's right, stop police brutality.
- [Simon] I had to stop here
(cow groans) on the way to food.
Because one person has littered
and left all their soy milk here.
But who drinks three soy milks in a row?
- [Martina] This is our traditional Sukiya.
We used to live right down that street
when we first moved to Japan, to Kichijoji.
and then we came across here
and it was our very first Sukiya.
Okay, we're heading on in.
Choices.
Hot pot with noodles. Gyudon bowls you guys already know
because we did a Sukiya video on it.
And if you don't know it then you need to go.
Okay, I think I'm gonna do--
(grunting)
Feeling pretty tired to film without eating food huh?
- I, it's--
- [Martina] You never really shared that with anybody before
about like, we've talked about some of the struggles
but you should tell people,
like seriously, you know it's tough.
- Yeah, I thought that I'd just be able to come in here,
start filming and talking
but I haven't eaten in a very long time.
And I think I'm just too big to go that long without eating.
- [Martina] You're like a dinosaur.
- I am a very big boy and I just,
I'm all fuzzy and confused and jet lagged.
- [Martina] And fuzzy.
- And aroused.
- [Martina] Um, what? - Uh.
- So for 2020 we're trying out some new stuff.
We're trying to be more honest with ourselves
and the abilities that we have.
And one of the big things I know that we struggle with
is like, for example, I am definitely getting sicker.
But, I have to accept it
and figure out some of my limits.
So, we're going to try to do more videos that
don't involve me being completely wrecked, exhausted.
Which turns into me not putting up the video at all.
I'd rather put up some videos and share with you guys,
if we have some more comfortable limits on how to film.
So I'm hoping we'll be able to film
more naturally when we head out.
And that, it will be more like
stuff that's happening around our neighborhood and Tokyo.
And it will be kind of like, not day in the life,
but you will be able to see real Japan life.
And we'll also have some more organized videos
as well, right?
- And what's real Japanese life right now is
coming to Sukiya when you're jet lagged
and eating beside the dude that's totally passed out.
- [Martina] Yeah, I don't blame him.
- Hot tip if you're coming to Japan,
and you have no where to sleep.
Go eat at a Sukiya and take a nap.
Oh here come the (speaking Japanese) in the distance.
Sugoi!
(people speaking Japanese)
We've been living in Asia for 12 years now
and after spending one month in Canada without rice,
I damn near lost my mind.
Rice is very important, all right?
I've changed. No rice, no life.
- [Martina] Seaweed,
Oh ya, Onsen Tamago.
- [Simon] Oh yeah.
- [Martina] I missed that.
Oh yeah.
Do they have a low shoyu you here? (speaking Japanese)
(speaking Japanese)
(repeating mmms)
(chews loudly)
(punches land)
- [Simon] What is this in the top left corner?
- [Martina] I had to stop a second
because I think this is a rotary telephone.
Thomas the Tank Engine, the Christmas edition.
We got, oh, we got Gremlins. We got Ultraman, Anpanman,
And of course, Marvel.
♪ The best. It's Loki and I love him ♪
♪ and you can't tell me otherwise. ♪
- Wow!
- [Martina] I kind of feel like,
I need to have a rotary telephone thing.
- I mean, how could you not have one?
- [Martina] I'm going to resist it because it's dumb!
- I do think the younger generation--
- Yes. Doesn't know what it is.
- Has not felt the satisfaction of dialing a rotary phone.
It was a very good feeling wasn't it?
- Not only was it a good feeling,
it helped us remember our phone numbers.
So, when Jackie came back to Toronto,
She goes, Oh I'll just call her house.
Luckily, I know her phone number off heart.
And I'm like, yeah, I know your phone number off heart.
I know your phone number off heart too.
I mean in Pickering,
and your phone number here too don't worry.
- Do you know my phone number here?
- Yes.
- Tell me.
- I'm going to whisper into your ear.
- Okay whisper it.
- Hang on.
- Heads up, these are all external mics,
they're still going to hear us.
- Shit, I forgot. I'm just going to mouth it,
I'm not going to say it out loud.
(whispering)
- That was a lucky guess. That was a lucky guess.
- How was it a lucky guess?
There are so many digits
to a Japanese phone number.
- There are 11 and--
- One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
11 phone numbers, numbers to remember.
It's complicated y'all.
- [Simon] Yarg. This be the Cafe and salon for pirates.
- Yarg matey.
We'll give you a coffee and then kick ya off the plank,
ya limey bastard.
That felt very piratey.
- [Simon] You got it there girl.
Aw, a little doggy.
- [Martina] (gasp) So nice! I like it.
- [Simon] Yeah, yeah eh. Little doggy statue.
- Just like my fairy garden.
- [Simon] That's true!
- If people look carefully,
they'd see thousands of tiny creatures staring out at them
from my bushes. (laughing)
- [Simon] Hey, when are you going to clean your garden?
- Okay, listen, look, okay, hello, oh he's following me.
(dramatic horror music)
- Ah, he's still there!
He's catching up!
- [Simon] Hey, that's a nice bag you got girl.
- Thanks, I made it.
That tuckered me out. What I'm hoping to do
is take everything off my garden ledge.
I'm going to clean it all.
I got some brushes for cleaning
and I'm going to have to water. (door creaking)
- [Simon] Shut it bird.
- That's the bird that used to sit outside our window
and scream at us every morning.
I'll be honest, we're a little bit behind schedule
because normally we come to the park at like four, five AM
and the sun rises, and we see all the old people
doing their amazing exercises.
They do like an (counts in japanese) and it's really neat.
But it's so cold we decided to stay at home
and snuggle in our giant blanket robes.
(both laughing)
This hurts my ankles.
You see this sign?
- [Simon] Walk your bicycle.
It is very dangerous to ride on your bicycle here.
- I always take my bicycle down this ramp.
- [Simon] Same!
- I come all the way down and I just,
keep it braked of course, but you like roll down super--
- [Simon] You keep yours braked?
- Yeah you don't want to go whoa
- [Simon] Not me.
- (Speaking Japanese) Come on.
(ducks quack)
- All these ducks are just going like
(tongue clicks) and appearing in the lake.
(gasps) I cannot emphasize enough
how much fun Inokashira Coen, I mean Inokashira Park is.
Because you come here and sometimes you think you're alone,
and then you look over and there's people
wearing duck wadding things, and they're in the bushes
and they've got like their cameras out.
Or there's people sketching.
It's filled with, it's brimming with wild life.
(soft piano music)
Is that a puppers on a special--
- [Simon] Oh my gosh what is this wonderful, magic?
Two, big doggies.
Oh look at the white snout on that one!
- [Martina] Oh and the old boy.
Oh I love it.
- [Simon] Oh my god.
- [Martina] Oh, he took them out.
That's so nice.
- [Simon] Oh what a nice doggy.
- [Simon & Martina] (Speaking Japanese)
- [Martina] It says I'm so happy.
Because of course they're goldens!
- [Simon] Yeah!
That doggy such an old doggy.
They're just giving, they're letting that doggy
have some last walks.
That's real sad.
- It's so nice though that they're doing that!
- [Simon] Yeah. That they're doing that.
That they got the little wheelbarrow for their doggy.
- Yeah. Too soon. - [Simon] Too soon.
- It's not that soon that I can't look at it.
Can we go over my favorite bridge?
- [Simon] Okay, which one out of these two
do you like the most?
- That one.
- [Simon] We got this one and we got that one.
Let's do it!
- [Martina] That crane was just like um, if I just act cas.
Do you see the crane in the corner?
- [Simon] Yup.
- Time and time again,
we wish that we could warn people and let them know
that Japan is not, you know, filled with Pokemon
and anime and manga everywhere.
It's just a very bland looking country
with plain normal colors.
Now, I'm just going to get a normal bottle of water.
Continue my day out of this Pikachu vending machine.
- [Pikachu] Pikachu!
- [Simon] What?
- Yeah.
- [Simon] This is a very cute vending machine.
- Best vending machine ever!
I love it.
Japan's great.
I appreciate all the ways you guys decorate things.
I even like the amazing signs when there's construction
and it's like a hippo, you know?
And we're like, why not a hippo?
You know there's Hello Kitty road blockers that are like,
"no coming through this construction" and I'm like why not?
It makes everything so much more,
happy and bright and ganky.
Also people are doing like flips behind you
and they're like--
- [Simon] Yeah, I saw!
Do it again! - [Martina] Like I just seen
someone flip.
- I saw it from a distance before
I wasn't sure but if you saw it too than it confirms it.
- He did a flip!
- [Simon] When I saw him do a flip,
I'm like, no way a man just did a flip (laughs)
- And I'm like, that man just did a flip.
He did three flips by the time you turned.
He was just like ah. Oh kay, no.
- [Simon] Flip time.
- [Martina] Now he's not going to.
- [Simon] Flip your goddamn hair.
- [Martina] Let's go.
Hi Pikachu. - [Pikachu] Pikachu.
(espresso machine hisses)
(upbeat soul music)
- [Martina] So Simon and I were discussing about filming
and I said to him I don't think we should film right now
because we're so effing jet lagged,
that we're both kind of crazy.
And then I pulled out my phone.
Because you're acting so crazy, it's funny.
And I remember the over ice video.
Where you melted down on the curb,
and I think this might be part two you guys.
- I asked Martina a question and then
she started answering it and I said
what was my question again?
- [Martina] I'm like were you talking to me?
Who are you strange lady?
You were actually going on and on
about how gorgeous and glistening this rice is.
- So, look at this.
- [Martina] If you saw our podcast then you'd know--
(cross talk)
- Look at every grain.
How it's separated.
None of it's gluey.
It's glistening and shining.
This to me is like looking at a freshly baked loaf of bread.
The way it has a good crack.
This is quality, quality rice.
- [Martina] (whispering) Chef Simon is such a rice maker
- (whispering) I'm not crazy
- [Martina] (whispering) He's a rice maker. (laughing)
A foreigner loses his mind in Kichijoji,
gets naked and runs through the park.
- Yesterday,
- [Martina] Uh huh?
- When Martina was out.
I got some soup dumplings,
and I brought them home.
- And I forgot how to eat soup dumplings.
- [Martina] Can you pass me, that?
You just passed me one chopstick.
What am I going to (sheep bleating) do with one chopstick?
Wow, that's incredible.
That wasn't even a joke was it?
You were like here have this chopstick.
Oh ducky.
You bit into the (sheep bleating) soup dumpling
and it exploded across the room.
- The soup dumplings right?
- Yeah, it destroyed her.
- [Simon] Tell me a story for me,
I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
- Reason why I'm doing okay is because
I got up this morning at 7 a.m.
And then I went downstairs,
and watched the Raptors play against San Antonio.
And it pissed me off, they lost by like one point.
And then I went, I'm done with this day.
- [Simon] And you went to sleep
- And I went back upstairs and I fell the fuck asleep.
And I slept, and I woke up
and I'm like I feel so much better.
And Simon went out and tried to edit
and came home like wah wah who are things?
Strangling me and I'm like, take a nap Simon.
Did you take a nap?
No you didn't take a nap.
So You're napless.
- [Simon] I really wanted to go downstairs
and show you all the plastic.
- I know, that's what you did.
Oh this is in the video.
- [Simon] Yeah!
- It's going to cut to it.
(sighs)
- One of the things I very much appreciate about Amazon
is that they really take care of your packages
and make sure that when it arrives at your house
it is safe and undamaged.
So if you take a look here, at the little package
that I have.
Here's my box from Amazon,
and they have a lot of these little bubble wraps here,
these huge bubble wraps.
And they help make sure
that your package inside doesn't get damaged
in case it gets jostled.
That's very, very smart because I wouldn't want.
Oh they gave a lot of it here.
You gotta make sure that my,
toilet paper doesn't get damaged.
Take a look at all of this wrapping.
Uh huh.
In order to wrap toilet paper.
Thank you so much Amazon, for keeping my packages safe.
My toilet paper, that could have got damaged along the way.
(sensual jazz music)
Oh that yolk.
I mean, just look at those thick,
lush, chewy, udon noodles.
Sandwiched between that thin shabu-shabu meat.
Ooh, the way that dash is flavored,
umami and salty together, ooh.
- Gave us two bowls because all you ordered
was ten chicken wings like a weirdo.
- [Simon] I don't want to have a big meal
before I go to sleep.
- Simon, what time is it?
- [Simon] 5:41
- You're not goin to sleep any time soon
- I'm going to sleep at 5:43,
whether I finish this dinner or not.
- Ducky, we're not.
We're going to go home and watching The Witcher.
That's what kept us awake last time.
Remember we stayed up until 9:30.
Big money (speaking Japanese)
Are you ripping into Kardinal Offishall?
Like how dare you?
- I hated Kardinal Offishall.
- [Martina] Welcome back you guys.
We're having a rap conversation.
- All right look,
when I grew up really into rap.
Kardinal Offishall came out
and then he was like Canada's national anthem for rap.
That's all we had over and over again,
and you know what?
He wasn't that good.
- [Martina] How dare you sir.
- Compared to what America--
- [Martina] Sean Paul.
- Sean Paul is not Canadian.
- [Martina] What? Sean de Paul. What?
- He's not Canadian.
No, he's no.
Canada is no.
- [Martina] Where is he from?
Sean de Paul.
There's another really good one he did like the
(mimicking song) it had like a,
The T dot O dot one of a kind.
Isn't that a Kardinal Offishall song?
- [Simon] You said did he make another good song?
The answer's no.
- Oh this--
- [Simon] The answers no.
No good song. - I can't throw this at you
'cause we're in Japan but I'm going to pretend to.
(thud) (grunting) Hit you right in the head.
(Classical music)
(hit lands)
- [Martina] Such a big man with small dessert.
- Very pretty dessert.
- [Martina] It's so nice, Pocky!
- Look how beautiful yours is, ba ba.
(chuckles)
- [Martina] Okay, but it's delicious so get bent.
Mmm, you aren't even going to have
any of my delicious mochi?
I really missed this.
This is like a Christmasy, New Yearsy food.
That I feel in my heart.
Just an update, Simon is crazy as usual.
He's been trying to have a conversation with me
and he forgets his own conversational points.
And we had a really neat moment where I told him,
"Hey Sonyo, that's what brain fogs like."
- Yeah.
- When someone who has a chronic illness
tries to explain brain fog, people often
say things to me like,
"Oh I know what it's like,
I'm getting old and I'm forgetting things as well."
Or, "I might have brain fog too, because I forget things."
And you don't want to punch them in the face.
But what you want to explain is,
The phrase brain fog is like,
think of it like the word fog right?
Fog comes in.
It'll be like fog's approaching and misty
and you can still kind of see stuff.
But it's kind of crowded like this.
It's creepy.
It creeps on.
It's not the same thing as me being like,
"oh I forgot my keys" and then continuing on.
It's like having a cellophane coming over you.
And you (quietly yelling)
and then it's like being lost in this conversational haze.
People talk.
You can't follow them.
You feel like it's an echo or a dream.
You're talking and you forget you're talking.
You stop and be like, what was I talking about?
It's unpleasant and it's unpredictable.
And so jet lag, Simon's realizing, it's very similar.
And although I don't want him to suffer this,
I'm also kind of pleased that we can
finally connect on this.
Because it's difficult to ever really explain your symptoms.
Like people with Crohn's telling people,
oh if you had diarrhea, it's like not the same.
It's worse for them, but they're trying
their hardest to explain.
- One of the issues that I have is,
it's very difficult for me to relate to Martina's condition.
'Cause I just don't feel pain and I'm very puffy
and I'm very strong and whatnot.
So I don't understand a lot of Martina's condition.
But moments like this when she's like,
"I have brain fog all the time."
I had no idea what brain fog meant before.
Now that I feel jet lag--
I feel what brain fog's like, in a way.
This might not be identical to what brain fog feels like,
but I feel like when you talk about brain fog from now on.
I can say, "oh yeah, if I remember jet lag,
I can empathize more."
- [Martina] So now you've got brain fog.
And also, you dislocated your shoulder.
- [Martina] It's excruciating pain.
You're right wrist is shaking.
Your left shoulder blade is pulling
on your spinal cord right now.
And your SI joint is at.
I'm just like shifting from butt cheek to butt cheek,
and I got my period today.
So imagine having all that on top of that.
Plus after throwing up on the plane,
and being covered in eczema,
which is finally healing up.
My arms are raw.
Like a new born babies skin
looks sunburn when it's almost done.
So everything hurts everywhere I put it.
And I can't remember things, because I have brain fog.
So it's not just one symptom, it's tons of stuff.
People with chronic illnesses have tons of stuff
that they don't talk about.
You know?
They just don't share.
They can't be possibly shared it all--
- [Simon] Because people can't understand.
Right?
- You are super people you guys.
Don't ever think that you're not.
You're amazing for just being alive.
Like just being in bed and being alive is like,
good for you.
Seriously.
- [Simon] I am so amazed,
I can't believe we actually finished a video.
Look at this it's finished!
If you want some more, we got some bloopers here
that you could check out with some more funny scenes.
Or if you want to know more about Sukiya,
make sure you click on the video here.
We dedicated a whole one to it.
Enjoy.
And I'm happy to see you all again.
Whoa that went too long.
Ah wait.
The end screens done? Ah sh--