But right now Twitch and I are going
to play a brand new game called Blanking News.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[APPLAUSE]
Here's how it works.
I am going to read a news headline that's missing a word,
then Twitch and I are going to try and guess
what the missing word is.
OK, this is the first time we've played this.
We'll see how this goes.
It seems hard to me, but maybe it's not.
OK.
Here's the first one.
Man arrested for stealing over $1 million worth of--
Woo.
What do you think?
Daytime television sucks.
[LAUGHTER]
Socks?
Sucks, mhm.
First you said soocks.
Socks, yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
Kind of had to work through it.
OK.
Maybe your jeans are too tight too.
[LAUGHTER]
Man arrested for stealing over--
I think it's going to be something obviously ridiculous.
I'm going to say tweezers.
Tweezers.
Let's see what it is.
First at 10, an investigation is now under way
after a former Cameron County Juvenile Justice Department
employee was caught stealing over $1 million
worth of the fajitas.
[LAUGHTER]
I don't even think a restaurant has $1 million
worth of fajitas.
They're like $1.49 or something.
That's ridiculous.
Like, do you have to have a warming truck?
I mean, because they're going to go bad, right?
Unless you have a truck that keeps them warm.
Mhm.
You've got to plan ahead if you're stealing
fajitas, that's all I'm saying.
[LAUGHTER]
Here's the next one.
Woman claims wind blew blank into her purse.
Oh.
You want to go first on this one?
I'm going to say a blouse.
I think she was stealing something
and she's claiming that.
So I'm going to say a blouse.
OK, I'm going to go a little left.
I'm going to say weed.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah.
You know, joints just sometimes are light
and they fly like a dandelion.
They just kind of, like, where's it going it to land, you know?
Let's see.
A woman claims that high winds blew cocaine into her purse.
[LAUGHTER]
Wow.
The thing is, I should be ashamed
that I know our human race is like that,
you know what I'm saying?
Yes, because it's probably an excuse you've used.
No, no, no, no.
That's why.
So the cocaine, was it in a container
or was it just loose cocaine that the winds--
let's find out.
Because if we're going to play the game,
we should know all the answers.
Finally, here's the last one.
It's worth double points because there's two blanks in it, OK?
Woman's date steals her blank then
uses it to take out her blank.
OK.
The woman's date steals her car and then
uses it to take out her cousin.
[LAUGHTER]
That's a really good one.
Somehow I have tweezers on my mind.
So I was going to say woman's date steals her tweezers
to take out her appendix.
[LAUGHTER]
That's where I went.
Let's see what happens.
A Memphis woman has a doozy of a terrible date story.
Her date stole her car and then used
it to take out her godsister.
[APPLAUSE]
What?
Twitch, that is amazing.
It's amazing and sad too, right?
Yeah.
Wow, that's incredible.
Congratulations, you win with 500 points
and I win with four points even though I
didn't get anything right.
Wow, that's very impressive.
We'll play that game again, but this time we'll
have more information.
OK.