Groovy Music
This week’s Music Monday is the “lonely” edition.
With Sistar’s “Alone."
MUSIC
Right off the get go we knew that this was
going to be a sexy song.
From the “Wa, Wa, Wa, Wa, Wahhhoowww”
To the “Hooo, Hooo, Huuu,,, huuhhh”
This song has a really smoldering vibe to it.
And the girls’ singing really matches it.
And, as you all well know,
We really hate random rap sequences
that don’t fit in the song at all,
but we really liked how this song
handled its rap sequence.
It was really well done here,
as it blended both rapping and singing.
Rather than just abruptly changing into rapping.
And so, it wasn’t jarring at all.
Really well crafted song we think.
The video though was … Kind of lame.
Sorry guys!!!
But this might be the most
boring music video we’ve reviewed so far this year.
Really, no matter what band we’re reviewing,
shots of a band posing over and over again,
and random spice scenes of them dancing,
doesn’t really do it for us.
Now, it was definitely sexiness well done.
And that we can appreciate.
It was really confident and sensual,
very deliberate movements,
simple make-up and jewelry
and sophisticated looking outfits.
And this might be the first K-pop video I’ve ever seen,
where they dance in dresses that are long…. ish.
Long….. ISH.
I mean, I know the front is kind of like,
the typical mini skirt that we see
in all the K – Pop girl videos,
but the back is pretty long, right??
But, I actually think that’s probably necessary
in order for them to do their dance moves.
Otherwise they’d be like…
“I’m looking sexxxxyyy with my
**Horrid ripping sound**
Not…. Not so good…
Now, I know not everybody
is gonna agree with me on this,
but I think that Sistar have some of the
best bodies in K-Pop.
Whenever we check the news,
we see so many stupid articles saying
something along the lines of…
Netizens spooge their pants
over “blankity blank’s” S Line figure.
Or, Netizens totally love it
when they look at the really long legs of this person
and their beautiful honey thighs.
And both of us are like… where?
Wha- what do you see here?
This is like, I don’t see what you are seeing.
It’s like those 3D optical illusions
that you have to cross your eyes
and then when you unfold them
then maybe the image pops out.
And your friend is like
“Oh, I totally see it, it’s amazing”
and you’re like.. I-
I just can’t see it.
Secret along with Sistar are the only bands in K-Pop
that I actually feel the need to compliment.
Back to the video.
We were really surprised to see that this had almost
5 Million views, in 12 days.
In comparison to 4Minute’s new video,
which like blew up on our site,
but has around 3.5 Million Views in 15 days.
So, obviously Sistar’s video was an absolutely huge success.
But that doesn’t mean that we personally love it.
So… I guess… you know… we were a little bit bored
is all I’m saying.
And any anyone else?
you can tell me, I won’t tell anyone
We’re really excited at the beginning
with all the Las Vegas footage.
We thought this was going to be very similar to
Big Bang’s “Tonight”,
And we get to see K-Pop idols
outside the confines of Korea.
Super FUN!
But then, there was no more mention of Las Vegas.
It was just them dancing in the
biggest jungle gym I’ve ever seen.
And then sexily posing in a totally empty club.
what is this?!? It’s the LAMEST CLUB EVER!
Oh, there’s also that random scene in which they get
an old looking car under the big red jungle gym,
they spray it with a hose and then
have a girl change in the back seat.
…That was dumb….
As for the bizarrely empty club,
we think there are only a
couple possible options as to what happened there.
Either they went to the club at like 4pm and
not even the staff has bothered to show up because
it’s way too early.
Or, they’ve rented the club for their
private leisure and what looks to me,
like a girls night out.
Now, maybe this is just ME and MY girlfriends but,
if I ‘m not going out in public,
and I was having like a private girls night at a club
that I rented… with 3 other friends,
I sure as hell would not be wearing
High hills, nice outfits, make up and jewelry.
Oh my God, I’m so happy we organized
this girls night out! Renting a club was
such a great idea!!
Yes, this is great! We can sing all night and
dance until the early morning! Girl POWERRR!
Oh, actually, after the initial fee of renting the club,
I couldn’t afford the bartenders so…..
It’s okay! I know we have drinks here…
We can make them ourselves!
Is this coffee??
Maybe, I—I’m not really sure. Ohhh
Oh my God, I have such a good idea!
I’m gonna change into my P.J’s
and then we can have a pillow fight!
Isn’t it so good there are no boys here?
hahahahah!!
YES… there’s no boys here.
Who you looking at??
Ugh… naaah.. Where’s Seungri? Let’s bring him out!
You’re so funny! hahahah (you’re strong..)
Oh my God (for a girl) I’m gonna go get Sally,
she’s been waiting at the bar for 5 minutes
for the bartender! CHUCKLE
ha! Haa! Make her wear her P.Js too…
Haaaa… HAAAA… girl’s night… fun… ha!
I mean, I get it…
The song is called “Alone” so it makes sense
for them to be alone in the club, but
boy, does it ever look awkward.
Why is the club SO empty?
It’s so empty that there isn’t even a
bartender or a bouncer.
Then who made you your drink? Huh?
Who made it for you? Huh? Huh??!
By the end of the video,
they just give up trying to be polite customers.
Since after all, they are the ONLY customers.
And then they just start lounging straight up
on the bar and then rolling around on the dance floor.
One thing I’ve learned though, in my life,
is that the floors of a dance club are
pretty damn disgusting.
Do you know that 3 second rule
whenever you drop food on the ground of your house,
and then you got like 3 seconds to pick it up
before it goes bad?
Well, in a club, there’s a negative 1 second rule.
If you drop something and it’s within 1 foot
of the atmosphere of the ground,
Just—you just let it go,
Don’t even think about picking that up.
Sistar must not be aware of this rule.
Hahaha… this empty club is great!
Hey GIRLLLL!! (hey!)
I can do whatever I want
since there’s no one here. (That’s right!)
You wanna see my sexy carpet dance?
You want me to see your sexy carpet? (Yes!)
Carry on…
Okay watch!
ahaha.. hahaha! ohh!
look at me roll!
Ohh… eww.. Okay, watch out for that pile..
Ohh.. eww that’s gross!..
Oh my God, I’m gonna vomit in my mouth.
(Doesn’t this look so good?)
ughhh.. ewww… I wouldn’t call that good.
haha Wasn’t that awesome?
Please don’t touch me!
hahaha.. I had such a good time!
stuttering
Why don’t you join me?
I’m gonna Pa—
Why don’t you join me? Come on!
I, for one, would not want to roll
around on the floor of a dance club
because when you stand up,
you might just wind up looking like a Katamari ball.
By the end of the video,
I think they must be feeling pretty grumpy,
because no one is serving them drinks
and they have no idea how to make them themselves.
Which makes sense because
2 out of the 4 members are actually below
legal drinking age.
So, instead they’re like…
“Yea, we’re just gonna caress this whiskey bottle. “
“Oooohhh” we can get our alcoholic buzzes
through osmosis…
Doesn’t really work like that…
And let’s just face it. That was like
a really super awkward product placement.
But I’m sure they got paid a whole like
butt-load of money to put into the video,
but then they have like,
no clue what to do with it because
the Korean “Banishment People”
would probably BAND THEM for drinking
in a music video.
But don’t think I didn’t notice that you guys
slipped in that stripper pole like last time,
but you didn’t get banned for it this time.
HA! In your face, Ministry of banning everything enjoyable!
[NEWS FLASH: 2 days later Sistar’s video is banned
for holding alcohol and having a stripper pole in it]
I never should have said anything….
***Groovy Music***
ha.. ha.. yes, bum rubbing and dances
takes me way back to Sistar’s “How dare you?” video.
which was banned for inappropriate bum rubbing action
in the vicinity of a stripper pole.
This dance also has a little bit of saucy bum rubbing
as well as some bum touching drive-bys.
But the real attention getter
has got to be their super composed,
lady like dancing.
So like, OOHHHH
just got a cramp in my leg from all that
ass kicking I did in that meeting today.
OOOHHH.. better work that out.
You like that don’t you?
You like when I rub my shoe slowly on the ground
Don’t you?
Seriously, so composed, yet passionate
and classy / sexy.
I really love this dance.
Well done Sistar, well done!
***More Groovy Music***
As for the English in the song, we give the say
……
5 out of 5.
The beginning of the song has a lot of English in it.
and it’s all good.
and there are a couple more scattered sentences
throughout which, are also perfectly fine.
No problems there.
But as for the tattoo of the video,
I give that a 0 out of 5.
If this was an English lyric,
I wouldn’t be so harsh.
Because at least you can change a lyric
into something else and
sing it a different day.
But a tattoo is FOREVER.
Now, this is probably just Henna
so, it’s not permanent..
At least, I really hope it’s not permanent.
But the best meaning I can get from that sentence is..
“I forget things which had be done to you or
I forget things which had been sore with you.”
Either one of those options,
not the best tattoo idea.
***DANCE BREAK***
For last week’s “Undead Edition”
We asked you which Undead music video you preferred.
T-ARA in “Roly Poly” as Zombies or
4Minute in “Volume Up” as Vampires.
Annnnnddd..
Woah… T-ARA laid the smack down on 4 Minute
I feel like I should say that
in a more wrestling voice.
[Cool wrestling voice: T-ARA laid the smack down
On… 4Minute!! They were like…
WUUHHWWWOOOUUWWW…..
WUUOOOUUGGHHHHOOOWWW..]
Holdings --…
(I think you should keep your day job)
Oh….
For this week’s lonely edition, we ask you
when you’re feeling lonely,
what song speaks to you more?
Sistar’s “Alone”? or 2NE1’s “Lonely”?
Leave your lonely votes in the lonely comments,
we’ll announce the lonely winner next week.
Also, thanks to all the Sistar fans
who requested Sistar’s “Alone” this week.
Is there a video you want to see us do next week?
I’m pretty sure U-Kiss and B.A.P are coming out.
So, head on over to Eatyourkimchi.com/kpopcharts
and vote there cause that’s the only place
where we choose who we’re gonna do for
K-pop Music Monday.
Lastly, don’t forget to like and favorite this video
and to subscribe for more Music Mondays.
Take it away Spudgy!
** Spudgy’s “Lift, Lift Kick” dance Anthem**