(audience applauding)
- It's so... it's weird because I've
I haven't kind of hosted a, a show like this.
I haven't been back for, for quite a few years and
and being in the media is a very strange thing
because we'll work on jokes, right?
And then, you know, I'll
I'll look down the barrel and I'll say them
and then they just get piped out to the world.
And sometimes you get, you get
you get pulled into some drama.
(pen tapping table)
(audience laughing)
So it's all my only, my second day here and
(pen tapping table)
I wake up this morning and Skip Bayless,
(audience laughing)
put me on Undisputed.
- You keep joining super teams to win the NBA titles.
How about, how about we work out together sometime
so I can teach you how to carry your own team?
- Ooh ho ho ho ho! - [Audience] Ooh!
- Wow.
- It it, it's supposed to be cute.
It's supposed to be tehe funny, it's supposed to be
kekeke funny. - Right.
And it's just not to me either, because it's unfair
to Kevin Durant. - Right.
And he's the thinnest skinned superstar I've ever
closely observed, so he is not going to be pleased
and I'm waiting for him to fire back via Twitter.
- [Shannon] Nor should he be.
- It's like day one I brought out, you know
NBA All Star Giannis Antetokounmpo.
I brought him out on the show.
He was our, (audience cheering)
our first guest for my week.
And I brought him on
actually to, to plug his amazing foundation that's in honor
of his father, the Charles Antetokounmpo Family Foundation.
And one of the things I was talking about,
I don't know if anyone here is a fan of Giannis
but he's this (audience cheering)
really beautiful human being.
He's one of the best basketball players in the world
but he has this, like, immigrant dad, green card energy.
(audience laughing)
You know what I mean? (laughing)
Like, he has a super max contract
but he's just like, are these subway napkins?
Can I take these?
Like... (audience laughing)
it's that juxtaposition that I love about him
and he's got so much humility and grace.
And there was this clip that we played on the show
where even though he's a two-time MVP, they asked him
in interviews, "Hey do you think you're the best
basketball player in the world?"
He's the former MVP, and he's like, "no, Steph Curry is."
And I show him that clip and I'm like,
"cut that out, stop it."
"You're an American citizen, stop walking around with this
green card energy."
(audience laughing)
I want, I want unbridled arrogance.
(audience laughing)
Like, you need to improve your ability at talking shit.
(audience laughing)
And you know how, like, Obama on Key and Peele
had the Obama anger translator.
(audience laughing)
I was like, I need to be your talk shit translator.
(audience laughing)
So, so, he's just so humble, he can't do it.
So we load up, shit talk in the prompters,
and I go, (audience laughing)
"look, I know comedy's not your shit.
Go to this camera right here, read it.
You know, and he is just like, "Hey LeBron," you know,
and he is doing his whole thing.
(audience laughing) Hey LeBron, you know?
And then he couldn't even get through it
and he's like, "I'm sorry, LeBron, I love you LeBron.
LeBron, like, LeBron, I love you, I love you.
I love my family, I love my mother."
Like, he could not do it.
He could not talk shit for two seconds,
he's a better Muslim than me.
He's not even Muslim, you know what I mean?
(audience laughing)
(laughing) And one of the lines, one of the lines
he said was, inadvertently, he got through this line
that I wrote for him and he's like,
"K D, let's work out together
so I can finally teach you to be strong enough
to carry your own team."
(audience laughing)
Oh no, no!
Why did I say that?
No, and he was so adorable.
No, K D, no, I love you, K D.
- Where's the camera, here? - Where's the camera?
- K D, you're one of the best scorers to ever
play this game. (audience laughing)
I respect your game.
You know, - (exhales loudly)
you've lead by example for 15 years,
(audience laughing)
so you were my fa- - I hate this.
You were my favorite - I hate this.
player growing up. (audience laughing)
- I hate this.
Entertain me! (smacking desk)
- And I respect your game.
- But then Skip Bayless, this morning,
just ripped out that little clip
of Giannis going to camera
and being like, K D, you need to get stronger
so you can carry a theme on your back.
And then Skip's dumb ass is like, see?
(smacks desk)
That is so mean to Kevin Durant.
(audience laughing)
Because we all know he has thin skin.
I'm like, wait a second, Skip.
Are you trying to big up Kevin Durant by
talking shit about Kevin Durant?
(audience laughing)
We should be nicer to Kevin Durant
because he is clearly a pansy who can't handle it.
Like, what are you saying?
(audience laughing)
And, and that's the thing, I'm only on day two of, you know
doing this guest hosting thing,
and that's the vexing thing I hate
about being (smacking desk)
a part of the media.
It's this (beep) click bait, Instagram reels,
TikTok media grift of like, oh, if I just snip out
the right amount, oh baby, I can ride the wave.
(audience laughing)
Like while you're on the train to work, I can get you mad.
Like, oh I can ooh, feed that algorithm.
Lord algo, right?
(audience laughing)
And the shitty part is is
Skip is perpetuating the very same reason why
professional athletes don't go on any of these shows.
- [Audience] Aww.
- You know what I mean?
They've created a dynamic where you gotta go full
Darth Mall in order to be a former athlete that does media.
You gotta go full Draymond Green, Kendrick Perkins,
two camera, I'll be like, I'll (beep) kick you in the nuts.
And the producers are like, yeah. (clapping)
More, do more of that.
Or be a normal person, right?
That's why all the athletes are like, you know
I'm just gonna just keep doing my thing
and just completely...
ignore you guys.
I dunno what to do, you know.
You guys know who Skip Bayless is?
- [Audience] Yes.
- If you don't know who Skip Bayless is
he's an old white man named Skip Bayless, that-
(audience laughing and clapping)
But I think, um,
if Skip really cares
about
the athletes
and the sport
then I think, if he's gonna benefit off the grift,
then I think he should make a donation
to the Charles Antetokounmpo Family Foundation.
(audience cheering loudly)
You gotta, you gotta cleanse those pockets, baby.
And if you wanna learn more about
the Charles Antetokounmpo Family Foundation
I suggest you also donate money to that as well.
It's an amazing organization.
I'm so proud of Giannis and Thanasis
and, uh, yeah, shout out to them.
So, thank you guys so much.
(audience cheering)
(upbeat music)