(pleasant piano music)
- Hey everybody happy Thursday.
If you haven't heard yet, I wrote a book.
And it's available now.
I spent a lot of time in the book
talking about therapy.
How to find the right kind as well as the right therapist.
So click the link in the top of the description
and order yours now.
But let's get into today's question
and it is, Kati, how can I overcome
the anxiety I feel about going to therapy?
Now I hear from a lot of you that you do have anxiety
about starting therapy.
Concerns about what the therapist is gonna be like,
what questions are gonna ask.
Ugh, what if I hate it?
What if I don't know what to say?
I hear about these things all the time
but there are some simple things
that we can talk about to get you on the right track
so that you don't feel so anxious
and realize that therapy can be
super comfortable and beneficial.
And my first tip is to ask all questions
before you even make an appointment
or go to the appointment.
Questions about payment and insurance.
I talk about in my book how important it is
that we ask those questions before we even get there.
So we don't finish that hour with our therapist
and find out that it's gonna cost us $200
and we can't afford it.
It's really important that we ask those questions.
So when you call to make an appointment, ask about it.
Leave this in the voice mail for them.
See how much it costs per hour,
see if they're flexible,
do they take insurance?
All of that stuff.
And ask if they want cash, checks, cards
so that when you get there, you have what they need
in order to pay for the appointment.
You can also ask them questions like where can I park?
Is it free?
Is there a lot?
Is it on the street?
Do I need a car?
Do I need quarters?
I know that sounds silly but that can really
make you feel more calm and in control
when you go to the appointment.
Also ask 'em what kind of paperwork you need to fill out.
You might need to bring your insurance cards
if they take insurance.
How much information are they gonna need from you.
Are there certain addresses, phone numbers
or you know, an emergency contact,
you're gonna need to have prepared
for when you go in to fill that out.
A lot of the first appointment, the people don't really
talk about that often is just paperwork.
We ask you questions like have you been in therapy before?
How did it go?
Are you on any medications?
I always ask my patients for their doctor's phone number
and address so if there's an emergency
I can get a hold of them.
So asking ahead of time
can really just make you feel more prepared.
And also some therapists,
especially younger ones like myself,
will allow you to fill up that paperwork online
through their website.
So, just makes it way way way more simple.
And so make sure you ask those questions.
You can also ask how long the session's gonna be.
Most therapists do a 50 minute hour
so that we have 10 minutes to kind of wrap up our session,
take payment and you know maybe go pee,
eat something, nobody knows.
You know we gotta do all of our notes,
things like that.
And you can also ask if you need to prepare anything.
Do I need to know what I need to talk about.
And just make sure that you're fully informed
before you ever step foot in that office.
The reason I talk about that being so vitally important
to lowering our anxiety level
when it comes to starting therapy
is because anxiety thrives in the unknown,
in the worries,
in the maybes, in the possibles.
But if we answer all the questions
that that anxious mind of ours is spinning,
what do I need to wear?
Should I wear comfy clothes?
You can even ask your therapist,
should I dress nice?
I know that that may sound silly to you
but you can ask them all sorts of things.
And I would tell my patients, you wear whatever
you're comfortable with.
I want you to be able to sit on the couch
and feel comfortable.
You can ask if there's a couch or a chair,
what their office looks like.
Ask any questions that that anxious mind of yours
is wondering about
because then, the therapist can give you the answers
and it assuage any fears or anxieties that may be coming.
My second tip,
make time for it.
And I know that goes without saying
'cause if we're making an appointment
and going to therapy, we obviously
have to make time for it.
But what I really mean is
don't plan something right after
or even right before it.
This ensures that you give yourself
plenty of time to find your way to the office
so you aren't stressed our rushed.
And give yourself time to calm down
and if you're like me, stop crying after the session.
So we don't wanna be rushed
like we have an appointment right before
and then we're racing
and we think we can make it there in time.
No, don't do that to yourself.
You don't wanna show up at your therapy appointment
like on edge and then when you go in
and they ask how you're doing
you'll often just say, I'm super stressed out.
It was too much.
It can take us like 10 to 15 minutes
of our 50 minute session to calm down
and to feel more like ourselves.
And then if we have to go somewhere afterwards,
if you're like me, you cry through the whole session.
I don't wanna show up to a work event
or meeting with a friend when I'm all like red eyed
and you can tell I've been crying for the last hour.
So just making sure that you make time
in your day for therapy.
I prefer to put mine towards the end of my day
so that if I don't do anything after at all, it's fine.
So talk to your therapist.
Before you make the appointment,
make sure the time works for you.
And that you're not trying to accommodate
the therapist's schedule too much.
You're more concerned about your own.
I know therapists are only in their office
certain days and times but, as much as you can,
make sure that it works for you.
And my third tip, visualize it.
I know this sounds kinda crazy.
But our brains do not know the difference
between us visualizing ourselves doing something
and when we actually do it.
Just take a second for that to sink it.
Our brain doesn't know the difference.
It's wild.
That's why when people are professional athletes,
they tell them to visualize themselves
like hitting the ball, you know, if they play baseball
and then oh home run.
Or they try to visualize themselves, you know,
doing really well at work
and giving that presentation perfectly.
Your brain doesn't know the difference.
And so take 20 minutes,
sit down, close your eyes,
and visualize yourself driving,
you know from your apartment,
getting to the appointment,
parking,
paying the meter or whatever,
talking to the parking attendant,
walking in,
sitting down,
filling out the paperwork,
you name it.
Walk through it step by step.
Maybe you're leaving work.
So imagine yourself getting your stuff up
from your desk,
walking to your car,
getting in your car,
you get what I mean.
By taking the time to visualize it,
we're giving our brain not only a chance
to practice it so that it knows it'll be okay
which can make our anxiety level go down.
But also, it also for another opportunity
for any maybe unseen questions or concerns
that come up.
Then we have time before the session to call the therapist
and get more answers so that we feel even better about it.
So visualize.
You might wanna do this two or three times
before your first appointment
just to make you feel that much better.
And my fourth tip and I've talked about this a lot
but write out what you want to get out of therapy.
Write it down.
And bring it with you.
We often forget things.
I'm just as guilty.
I'll make a doctor's appointment because I have a cold
and I'm like, oh I also wanna ask him about this mole
because I'm curious, maybe it's cancerous.
I don't know.
And then I did have that weird headache.
I'll forget all about that
and talk only about the cold that I have.
And so, I know that's like a silly example
but you get what I mean.
We might get caught up in the conversation
or the questions that they're asking
and forget about the other symptoms or issues
that may be going on that we might just be a little scared
to bring up or forget completely.
How many times do you go somewhere
and your mind goes completely blank.
Me too.
And that's why taking notes about your symptoms,
you know, what's bothering you most,
what goals you would like to set
can be really really helpful.
Because this will not only ensure
that you don't forget important things,
but also help your therapist put together a treatment plan.
And if you don't know what a treatment plan is,
it's really a plan you put together
with your therapist about your goals in therapy.
What is it you wanna work on,
what are things you're wanting to improve
and it ensures that therapy's beneficial for you.
That you're working towards goals together.
And you can set smaller goals
in line with the bigger goals you have.
And it's just really a way to keep you on track in therapy
and just make sure that you're making progress.
And fifth and finally,
know that you're in control.
It's your choice whether you wanna keep seeing
this therapist or if you think
they're a good fit for you.
If you don't like them,
or they don't listen to you when you speak,
you don't have to go back.
Period.
And sometimes feeling some sense of control
over a new situation can make our anxiety go away as well.
So know that you're in control.
You can always cancel the appointment
as long as it's within they're window of cancellation.
I mean, not usually, it's like 24 or 48 hours
before the appointment.
If it's too much, you can do that.
And then start back and try the other steps again.
Or if you go and meet them
and the paperwork is overwhelming
and their office, there's no parking
and you just hate the feeling of it.
And ugh it's too much.
You don't have to make another appointment.
I know that that may sound simple
but sometimes just having some control
can help us feel that much better and more calm.
And overall, just know that being anxious
about anything new, especially therapy
is completely normal.
Whenever we try something new, we're gonna be nervous.
And it's okay.
Most of what we're anxious about are the logistics
of getting there, paying for it
and then figuring out how to talk to a stranger
about all that we may be going through.
But know that it is up to the therapist
to ask the right questions,
help us feel comfortable and to go at your pace.
So all you really need to worry about
is getting there stress free,
being able to pay for it
and reading off of your list.
I hope you found that helpful.
This was a great question and I know
that many of you worry about it.
So please leave any tips and tricks
and things that have worked for you
down in those comments below.
And I will see you next time.
Bye.