-Hey, I like this. I'm liking the mustache.
-Ooh. This old thing? -Wow.
-Yeah. -What's going down?
-Little lip jewelry.
-Wow. That's not what you call it at all.
It looks good. What is it for? A role?
-No. No, this is for real life.
-Oh. Oh, my gosh. [ Laughter ]
-No, here -- Okay, it's actually really -- It's kind of crazy.
So, I never intended to have this.
I don't think I look good with it.
But I'm keeping it.
-Okay.
-We -- My wife -- My wife has a friend
who's this very famous English singer.
Let's just say, right? -Okay. Sure.
-Okay? So she throws these birthday parties.
And they're kind of lavish.
-Adele?
-I don't know.
[ Laughter ]
-Did I nail it?
-♪ Hello from the other side ♪
-Yeah, every time.
So -- I sing it over the fence.
Anyway, so, she's like,
"Hey, she's having this birthday party. We have to go."
And I'm like, "Okay, we'll go to the birthday party."
I'm like -- And so she comes to the day of the birthday party,
she's like, "Listen, the theme for the birthday party
is 1970s New Year's."
And I'm like, "Who the --
throws a 1970s New Year's birthday party?"
Like, and I find out on the day of, right?
-I love that you just censored yourself.
That's amazing. No one's ever done that.
-I have children. -Oh, my God. That was --
I've never seen anyone -- do that ever.
-Oh, my God! You don't -- do that with the kids?
-I don't -- do that ever! -I mean, this -- is crazy!
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
-So, she's like, "It's a 1970s birthday party.
I'm like, "Oh, well, we were both on the '70's Show.'
I think we got this," right? -Of course, yeah.
-So we can put this thing together.
So I get the bell bottoms out. I break them out.
And I'm putting them with some good boots and like a vest
and a scarf tied around the neck and like a thing.
And I'm looking in the mirror. And I've got a beard going.
And I'm like, "Oh, I'm going '70s stache.
Like, it's got to happen." -Ah.
-So I whittle everything down.
And I'm -- And it's thin.
I mean, it's like a high school boy
trying to grow a mustache thin. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-But it looks great for the party. Right?
-Oh, yeah, perfect.
-So, we show up at the thing.
And my wife is in this timeless jumper
that could have be from any --
So we show up. And I'm looking around.
And nobody else is in 1970s anything. Right?
And I'm like, "What kind of -- What the hell --"
The theme for the party's 1930s New Year's.
And I look like Burt Reynolds from -- "Boogie Nights."
And I'm like, "This is a joke." And I'm, like, walking around.
And what, are you gonna be like, "I got the decade wrong"?
So, I'm just playing it off
like this is how I'm doing it these days.
And I'm like, "What's up, Jay-Z?
Yeah, this is my thing now."
[ Laughter ]
And it was really awkward. -Yeah.
-And so now it's a spite 'stache. And I'm keeping it.
-Oh, yeah.
-This is payback. -It's a spite 'stache. Yeah.
-It's a full blown spite 'stache.
And now she likes it. So now I can't get rid of it.
-Wow. No, it looks good. You can pull anything off.
-Thank you. -Come on. Please. How are the --
How is the family? How are the kids?
-I feel like a baron.
-It's like kind of a little baron --
-I'm going to get a little tweaky,
so I can be like a real baron. -Are you gonna really?
Is that your next move? -I'm thinking about it.
-Get the mustache wax and go for a little tweak on it?
-Maybe. -Yeah. Last time I was here,
you told me to lose my mustache.
-You've got -- I mean, that was a -- That was a beef cake.
-Yeah, it was a thing, yeah. -I mean, it was beef-cakey.
-It was a lot, yeah. It got out of control real fast.
-Mine's like an aristocrat.
-Yeah. -It's a little thinner,
because that's just how it comes in.
-Yeah, mine was like a co-star.
-Yeah.
-It was a co-star. It was too much.
Too much stache. -It was strong.
-It was pretty strong, yeah. But you talked to me. You came on.
You didn't lie. You were like, "It doesn't look good.
Yeah, get rid of it." -It was, like, Bulgarian.
-Yeah. Alec Baldwin yelled at me, too.
He came on, he goes, "What's that for?
What are you doing? Are you doing a bit?
I'll do a bit with you." I go, "I'm not doing a bit."
He's like, "Well, why are you wearing that mustache?"
I go, "This is my mustache."
He goes, "It looks terrible. Why would you do that?"
You can't say that. Talking about my face.
-Your face is handsome. -Thank you. I appreciate --
-Yeah, every time I go in to my business manager,
I have to look at your face.
Did you know that? -No.
-You've got -- There's a poster
of you and Drew Barrymore in the bathroom.
And every time I take a leak --
It's, like, signed like, "Put this in your bathroom.
Love, Jimmy."
And every time I go there to go to the bathroom --
-Well, wait, no. You know what I wrote on there.
I wrote, "Don't hang this in the bathroom."
-It's in the bathroom! And I got to look at you every time I pee.
And it's a little weird for me.
-Well, it's just an odd thing. 'Cause I sign things for people.
And I go, "Just do me a favor,
don't hang this in a weird spot."
-It's in the John. -Oh, my God.
I'm going to call them tomorrow.
Silvaggio -- I'll call that dude.
I want to talk to you about this.
'Cause I think this is fascinating.
I don't know if you guys know this about Ashton Kutcher here,
but he's one of the top tech investors in the world.
And you're really great at it.
You pick some good stuff. You're a taste-maker.
And I didn't know -- When I --
I think I met you -- This has got to be 10 years ago
when I first started talking to you about this.
I'm like, "I just know you as the actor."
And I thought you were just kind of goofy.
I don't know. And fun.
And you're like, "No, dude, you get this," blah, blah,
And you started getting into it.
I'm like, "Whoa, I can't even hold my own against you."
You know what you're doing, man.
-We moonlight as technologists, you and I.
-We really do. -This is our thing.
-But you hit homers, dude, I mean --
-We're doing alright. -Airbnb, Spotify.
I mean, this is -- -Yeah, we're having fun.
-Uber. -Yeah.
-Ashton, how did you get into this?
Did you know that you were good at this?
-I just started using the stuff.
I mean, I was like one -- I was early on Twitter
and started using that. -Yeah
-And just started -- I just started using all these things.
And I was like, "This is fantastic."
And then just sort of found a knack for it.
And then after a while,
the track record is what the track record is.
But you kind of never look back.
And we just keep looking for the next thing that's wonderful.
-I love that you do that, though.
-It's really fun. -Yeah, it's crazy.
-I met with like two companies in New York today.
-Really? -Yeah, it's amazing.
-Yeah, 10 years ago, you were telling me
that you were meeting with this guy.
And I go, "Ashton Kutcher. That's just fantastic.
I never knew this part about you."
-I met with this company this morning that's in New York
right underneath your nose. It's called Noom.
And it's like a -- -I know Noom.
-It's unbelievable! -It's a weight loss thing.
-It's unbelievable what they're building.
-I clearly don't have the app. But I mean --
-It's a weight loss thing. [ Laughter ]
-"I've been using Noom for about four weeks now."
-"We've been really stocking up on Noom as of late."
-"Please get Jimmy to sign up to Noom."
-Before. After.
-Are you doing -- So are you going to be investing in Noom?
-I think so. I like them. -Wow.
-I don't know. I mean, we're, like, working things --
We're seeing what -- You know,
because they've already raised money
in the thing. But I really like the company.
I think they're doing incredible things.
They're helping a lot of people.
-I love that you're doing that. And just gives --
I don't know, I just -- I think it's awesome that you do that.
'Cause I look up to you a little bit.
I go, "Look at Ashton just crushing it."
-Thanks, Jimmy. -I'm psyched, buddy.
Let's talk about your second job, acting.
[ Laughter ]
"The Ranch," congratulations.
This Friday is a whole slew of brand-new shows.
-Brand-new shows, yes.
-This is the longest running multi-cam sitcom on Netflix.
-Yeah. -That's pretty cool.
You're making history. -That is pretty cool.
-That's fun. -They told me that.
They told me that. And I didn't even really realize it.
We had shot like 80 episodes or something.
I didn't even realize it. I was like, "Wow."
I mean, you know, it's like -- Time sort of just goes by.
And you just keep working and working and working.
And you look back and you go, "Wow, what happened?"