Hey, I send all of you love for being here.
I also send everyone who is still
recovering from the hurricanes a whole lot of love.
Everybody here is sending you love.
[APPLAUSE]
You know, we've helped raise a lot
of money for the relief effort.
But it is going to take a long time.
I promise we are not going to forget about you.
That's what happens.
Everybody helps, and then everybody forgets about them.
We're not going to forget about you.
I noticed a lot of people have been tweeting and posting
on Facebook about a certain problem from the hurricanes
that nobody is talking about.
I want to show you what I mean.
Meghan posted this on Facebook.
"If my power's out, does that mean 'Ellen' episodes will not
record?"
[LAUGHTER]
No one addressing it at all, nobody talking about it
on the news.
Anna tweeted this.
"I want to watch 'Ellen' on my TV instead of Irma, Harvey,
and Maria.
Make me laugh, Ellen.
I could use it."
So I am here to help.
For all of the people who missed our first--
this has been going on since we went on the air.
Like, this is our new season, and you've
missed a lot of shows.
So if you've missed shows because of the power outage,
here's some highlights from our first three
weeks of shows for all of you.
Welcome to our first show of our 15th season.
[CHEERING]
You made everybody so happy for 15 years.
Oh, wow.
[INAUDIBLE]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I can't crisply huff the lalooloo.
[LAUGHTER]
I can quickly cuss--
I don't know what you're doing with the balloons,
but you shouldn't do it.
[LAUGHTER]
We went to see go see "Magic Mike" live together.
[CHEERING]
Let me tell you something that I learned tonight.
I'm still on my team.
But I get it.
I get it.
Frankie, who invented the telephone?
Thomas Edison?
Matt, do you want to help him?
I said the wheel.
Sorry, I leaned forward.
The wheel.
Who invented the wheel?
Was it the Thomas Edison guy?
[LAUGHTER]
Well, I was just kidding.
[LAUGHTER]
Come on, Alice.
[LAUGHTER]
Ah!
[AUDIENCE GROANS]
You could have moved.
You didn't need to stay there.
When you were accepting your Emmy,
the music started playing.
Is there anything you want to say now?
You know what?
Like, what I really wanted to recognize--
[EMMY MUSIC PLAYS]
[LAUGHTER]
Mandy rode the tractor.
Milo was shirtless.
So you'll ride a tractor shirtless.
[CHEERING]
What?
[MUTTERS]
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHTER]
And you just hear, like oooo.
Ooo, it was really--
[SCREAMS]
[APPLAUSE]
[SCREAMS]
[CHEERING]
Is it coming?
Is somebody going to come out of there?
No.
That has happened.
No.
[ROARS]
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHTER]
There's nothing-- nothing.
[SCREAMS]
I just--
[LAUGHTER]