“Pop are you ok?”
“Sure I'm ok.
Why, aren’t I acting ok?”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean.
I mean Russell here just said he was gay.”
“Oh for God’s sake Roc, it’s the ‘90s.
Don’t you ever watch Oprah?”
In the early 1990s, something about gay characters on television changed.
And this episode of Roc was a big part of it.
The show featured the first same-sex commitment ceremony ever shown on American primetime
TV, plus a gay character played by Richard Roundtree -- also known as Shaft -- and it
came at a turning point for queer folks both on TV and in real life.
All aboard and welcome to Matt Baume’s Culture Cruise, where we take a deep dive on queer
themes in entertainment we love.
This time we’re checking out the episode “Can’t Help Loving that Man” from Season
1 of the Fox sitcom Roc.
Despite being a super important part of TV history, this is hard one to find -- it’s
not online anywhere, or in any of the archives that I checked.
But thanks to viewers Jean-Pierre, Chris, and Minus Minus One, we were able to track
it down and bring it to you now.
Big thanks to everyone who helped me put this video together.
Culture Cruise is made possible by the folks who pledge a dollar or more a month on Patreon
-- folks like Terry Picknell, thanks Terry!
Head over to Patreon.com/mattbaume or click the link in the description to check out the
rewards available to backers.
Roc was an early-90s sitcom, set in Baltimore, about the Emerson family -- Roc, his wife
Eleanor, his brother Joey, and his father Andrew.
The episode that aired on October 20, 1991 starts with Andrew expecting a visit from
his little brother, Russell.
“I used to bounce him for hours on my knees while we listened to the radio.”
“You never did that to me, pop.”
“I tried, but your butt was too boney.”
The last time they saw Russell was seven years ago, when he was getting a divorce.
And when he shows up, we see that it’s Richard Roundtree, who played a tough detective named
Shaft in various movies and a TV show.
It’s a role he’s still reprising to this day.
Here he is in Shaft 2019.
But back in 1991, he was just plain old uncle Russell, and he has some news for the family.
“You seeing someone?”
“Oh for the past year or so, yeah.”
Can you guess where this is going?
“Does your sweetie pie have a name?”
“Yes, uh, Chris, but you see…”
“Oh if I know my baby brother, this Chris is some looker.”
Can you POSSIBLY guess what surprise twist is coming?
“You see there’s something I’ve kept hidden for a long time.”
Oh what on EARTH could that be?
“You see, I’m gay.
And Chris is a man.”
Those were boos from the audience -- not exactly the response you want when coming out.
But let’s put it in perspective of what was going on at the time.
Various surveys around this time showed that a majority of Americans thought homosexuality
was morally unacceptable, and that it should be illegal.
Plus sixty four percent of Americans said they’d be “very upset” to learn that
their child was gay -- that’s down to just 17% today.
Not to mention, 1991 was in the middle of the darkest days of the HIV epidemic, which
had a huge impact in the African-American community.
By 1993, HIV had become the country’s single largest killer of young African-American men,
and the second-largest cause of death for young African-American women.
And at the time, there was a lot of stigma that tied HIV to gay men.
So that’s what was happening in real life.
Meanwhile, on television, gay episodes tended to be the most serious of Very Special Episodes.
These were the episodes where the gay guest of the week was a point of crisis, homosexuality
caused a problem, and there was dramatic music whenever going to commercial.
[Dramatic transition music]
In 1991, TV audiences had been trained to recognize that when you see a gay character,
it means things are about to get serious.
Andrew tries to keep it light --
“I mean Russell here just said he was gay.”
“Oh for God’s sake Roc, it’s the 90s.
Don’t you ever watch Oprah?”
Just for a little more context, here’s what guests on Oprah had to say about homosexuality
two years earlier, in 1989:
“We ought not to be so dismissive about what God says, Oprah.
Uh, God says this is a vile sin.
It’s not the only sin, but it’s a serious sin.”
“God created homosexuals.
God created us all.
Did he not?”
“God is not the author of sin.
He did not create sin.”
“He doesn’t have a monopoly on what God did or did not do.”
So anyway, this is the context in which Russell has just announced he’s gay.
It was a time when conversations about homosexuality were wrapped up in HIV stigma, and legal battles
in real life, and very dramatic music on TV.
So no wonder the audience was uncomfortable.
And so is Roc.
“I’m not too comfortable with it either.
Not about being gay, about Uncle Russell being gay.
See I’m even uncomfortable about being uncomfortable, that’s how uncomfortable I am!”
He’s not the only one.
Even though he puts on a polite face for company, Andrew doesn’t understand what he’s just
learned about his brother.
“Why would he choose that?”
“Maybe he didn’t choose it.
Maybe it chose him.
I mean you can’t force him to be something that he isn’t.
All right, I watch Oprah too.”
To their credit, the guys try their best to handle Russell’s announcement.
But he has a few more surprises waiting for them.
“This Sunday, Chris and I are getting married.”
“You can’t do that in Baltimore.”
In fact, you couldn’t do it anywhere.
Marriage wasn’t legally recognized in any jurisdiction, although a few towns had started
offering limited recognition of civil unions.
“Well you see it’s more a public acknowledgement of our commitment than a legal ceremony.
Andrew, it would mean a lot to me if you were all there.”
“Well, I think that’s wonderful.
Who wants coffee?”
And we’re still not done with the surprises.
When Russell says that he’ll have the ceremony at a hotel...
“Well, that ought to be real nice.”
“Well I thought it would be even nicer if he were to have it here at our house.
Don’t you think so?”
There’s no backing out once the offer’s been made, so the guys awkwardly agree to
have the wedding at their house.
And that should be the end of the surprises, right?
Well…
“There’s one other thing that I should mention before Chris gets here.”
“Hell no.
Uh, I mean...”
But before Russell can prepare him, Andrew opens the door and meets Chris.
“Hi, I’m, uh…”
“White.”
Well it has been an exhausting day so far in the Emerson household and we’re still
in act 1.
When we come back from commercial, Andrew’s puzzling over the situation at a bar.
He doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know what to say -- he doesn’t even know
what to feel.
His disorientation reflects an early-90s shift in both gay politics and gay representation
on TV.
Remember how I said that in the 80s, gay episodes tended to be super serious?
Well, during that time, gay characters also tended to be super lonely.
TV seldom acknowledged that gay people could actually, you know, meet each other and fall
in love.
Every now and then, you’d see a same-sex couple -- like on this episode of Kate & Allie:
“This is Miriam Goodman, my lover.”
But it was far more common for a single queer person to appear for just one episode, for
that episode to be super serious, and then for them never to show up ever again.
However, that was starting to change at the exact moment that this episode aired.
In 1991, TV was shifting from tragedy and loneliness to show actual gay relationships.
You can see it very clearly on shows like The Golden Girls -- in 1986, they had an episode
about a lonely lesbian widow; in 1988, Blanche’s brother comes out as gay; and in 1991 that
brother wants to get married.
In the early 90s, lots of shows -- even Married With Children -- started acknowledging gay
relationships for the first time.
With varying levels of tact.
“Your husband?”
“Yes.”
“You know you’re a guy, right?”
That happened, in part, because of something that was happening in real life.
About a year before this episode aired, same sex couples in Hawaii started pursuing a legal
strategy towards marriage.
I talked about that a bit more in my video about Married with Children -- there’s a
link to that in the description.
The idea that gay couples might be able to marry someday soon was something that seemed
impossible a few years earlier, but now it was making actual real-life headlines.
“Gay, lesbian, and unmarried heterosexual couples may now get official recognition as
domestic partners.
Hundreds of couples showed up at City Hall yesterday to obtain this new symbolic legal
status.”
Shows like Roc and Married with Children and The Golden Girls reflected what was happening
in real life.
But Roc was the first American prime-time show to actually show a ceremony, and we wouldn’t
see another until Roseanne and Friends a couple years later.
At least, I'm pretty sure this is the first.
If you know of anything earlier, please let me know!
When the big day comes, Andrew is upset -- that the couple is gay, and that they’re interracial.
At first he wants to act like the ceremony isn’t even happening.
And when Russell’s offended, he gets indignant.
“Now you told me never ever let the color of your skin stop you from doing anything.
Now I also thought that meant falling in love.”
“Oh but I meant with a woman.
How could you do this to me?”
It looks like the brothers are never going to reconcile, but then during the vows, Andrew
notices that Chris’ family isn’t there -- he’s lost contact with them because they
won’t accept him.
And then Russell says something that changes Andrew's mind.
“This is a very important day in my life and it means a great deal to me to have you
share it with me.
Even if the person whose love and acceptance means the most to me couldn’t.
Andrew, I love you anyway.”
“I got something to say.”
Andrew’s not quite fully on board, but he knows that the right thing to do is stand
by his family.
“I can’t fully accept this.
But more than anything, I want you to be happy.”
“Andrew, I am happy.”
The team who made this episode -- actors, producers, crew -- were taking a chance by
being so far out ahead of other shows.
And you might recognize the name of the episode’s writer, Jeffrey Duteil.
He wrote the episode of The Golden Girls where Dorothy’s lesbian friend comes to visit,
and an episode of In The House featuring RuPaul as a friend of LL Cool J.
Watching these shows now, I wonder if the people who made them realized that they were
making history.
Of course, there’s no way to know if … I’m sorry, I just need to get this.
Hello?
“Hi, my name is Jeffrey Duteil, I was one of the writers and producers on Roc, and I
wrote the episode Can’t Help Loving that Man that we're going to be talking about.”
What was the conversation in the writer's room around making -- around having a commitment
ceremony?
Did anybody think at the time that they were making history?
“The question was are we promoting something here?
And that, uh, I didn’t like the sound of that and one of my responses to them was I
think if we’re promoting anything it’s tolerance and acceptance, and that’s always
a good thing.”
How did people at the network react when it was being made, and then how did they react
after it aired?
“The calls were so supportive, it was overwhelmingly supportive, and they got back to us on that
the next day and told us they couldn’t be more pleased with the way it turnd out.”
How does gay content on TV now compare to what it was then?
“The young gay kid -- me -- in Ohio, growing up, if I could have seen network television
now, and stories and movies, Love Simon, all the gay YouTubers who have their channels,
the It Get Better Project with thousands of coming out stories.
I think that’s all a part of the acceptance that gay America has had in leading so quickly
to gay marriage.
… And now you see it on a regular basis on TV and I think that’s just made a tremendous
difference.”
Well Jeff thanks so much for your contributions to TV back in a time when it was difficult
to be there, and thanks so much for making time to chat with me today.
“You're very welcome.
I enjoyed it.”
I have a longer conversation with Jeff about making the show on my YouTube channel -- there’s
a link in the description if you’d like to watch our full interview.
After this episode aired, Russell became a recurring character who came back multiple
times.
Later episodes showed him getting closer to the other characters, bringing Chris to family
functions, and dealing with Andrew’s lingering discomfort by showing him more of his life.
“It’s a funny thing about this restaurant though.
There aren’t any women here.
Just a bunch of good looking well-dressed … men.”
In fact, two years after he was introduced, Russell announced that he and Chris are moving
to Paris, but he wants to do whatever he can to remain in touch with the family.
This the exact opposite of the gay characters we saw in the past.
He’s not lonely, he’s not in crisis, he’s not a one-and-done guest.
He’s confident, he’s present with the family, he’s loved by them.
And he loves his partner.
Nowadays, we’ve come to expect qualities like that from queer characters, but at the
time this episode aired that was all pretty new.
What we're seeing when we look at these early 90s episodes of TV is a foundation being built
for the good, strong, happy queer characters that we can take for granted today.
Land ho!
We’re pulling into port.
Thanks for cruising along with us!
And thanks to everyone who makes the Culture Cruise possible with a pledge of support on
Patreon, folks like Terry Picknell.
There’s some lovely rewards for folks who back the show -- head over to patreon.com/mattbaume
or click the link in the description to check out those backer rewards.
And now if you’ll excuse me, I've got to take this call.
Hello?
"The police are tracing this call this very minute."