Well, hello, you two.
Hello.
Hi.
I'm so happy to see both of you.
Oh, thank you.
Even though we kind of live really close to each other,
we never see each other because you're working all the time.
And the last time we saw each other, this happened.
Oh, totally fine.
That was the last time I saw you.
Oh.
That was a long time--
That's so weird.
I know.
That's such a small town.
I know.
I don't know how that's possible.
And you two actually didn't know each other before this film,
right?
No.
No, we hadn't-- we had never met.
Did you meet prior to start--
to make sure there was chemistry?
Because it's basically the two of you for most of the film.
And then there's no chemistry.
They just-- yeah.
--movie just falls apart.
No, there's a lot of--
Just-- they kind of just took a gamble, I guess.
They just thought that we would be OK in a movie together,
and so--
And it worked out real good.
It's really, really good movie.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, it's-- we'll talk about it because there's so many other
things to talk about first.
We teased to the movie later, see?
Yeah, talk about it now, but it's really good.
We're not here to talk about the movie.
Oh, but I'm going to talk about it.
Anyway, we are coming out with a fragrance.
Yeah.
Oh, together.
Yeah, together.
Yeah, what's it called?
It's called Stinque.
Yeah, with a Q-U-E. S-T-I-N-Q-U-E.
Stin-que.
It's really good.
They actually call you the male Jennifer Lawrence.
Did you know that?
Isn't that awesome?
Yeah.
I love that.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
Thank you!
Thank you.
I'm flattered.
I just couldn't see why you would--
I just heard that today.
I didn't know that that was really a real thing.
But because you're so nice--
Aw.
It could be worse.
I could be called--
He's much, much nicer than me.
Is he nicer than you?
He's like a hard worker.
He has a good attitude.
He's very positive.
Don't have any of those things?
No.
Wow.
It's like, when are we leaving?
That was enough.
And he had to do basically everything
because I suffer from paranoia mixed with delusions.
So I thought that if I were in a harness,
I would never be able to bear children.
So he took care of all the harness work.
Yeah, all the stunt work I did.
He did all of it.
And I did-- there was about a week where I was working solo.
And I remember hanging in this harness with this spacesuit
that was really heavy.
It was incredibly uncomfortable.
And I was just--
I just remember hearing--
I just remember saying, you guys better
get this together because Jen is not going to do this.
Like, you better have this figured out
by the time Jen gets back.
I put it for one second.
I was like, hell no.
Well-- well, you did have it on in one scene, right?
One scene.
I don't know how many scenes I did.
I mean, I had to ultimately do it.
I just complained a lot.
Yeah, I see, because it looked very heavy,
that thing we're talking about.
Yeah.
How heavy was it?
75 pounds.
It was 75 pounds, yeah.
It was a spacesuit, and it was tough to figure out
because you're trying to create the illusion of zero gravity.
Like, we're in space.
We're floating around.
And so--
And yet you have this thing that's 75 pounds.
And you're hanging by like essentially a pair of under--
like, weird underwear with hooks on it.
What?
They didn't make you wear the hook underwear?
See?
--hook underwear.
No, they're like this-- it's like this thing that
goes around you.
And then they hook you on--
I didn't do it.
--here.
You already have a child.
Yeah, it's true.
I was like, I don't want anything going--
You think you can't have children if you wear a harness?
Yes.
I'm sick.
Wow.
So, did you know that-- what the movie was before you signed on?
That you'd be-- it's--
Not really.
I just kind of read my lines and--
He didn't flip through?
When she wears a pretty dress.
That's cool.
It is pretty cool outfits because it's
sort of the future.
So it's like-- well, it is the future, not sort of.
You know that Jennifer was voted most talkative-- was
it high school?
Middle school.
And two years in a row, right?
Yeah, two consecutive--
Most talkative.
I learned a lot about "The Real Housewives"
that I didn't know before.
Right.
But there were other topics.
Whta did you say?
What was it--
If Jen ever tells you, you know what I read somewhere,
what she means is, you know what I saw on "The Real Housewives?"
I was getting a lot of Lyme disease information
from "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."
Of Beverly Hills?
And so I kept repeating it, and I was like--
So, you have to be careful.
I mean, listen.
If that's the symptoms, you have to understand
that Yolanda went through.
I was like, I just-- again, I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Burrp.
So, there's talking.
There's singing.
I understand there's a lot of singing on the set.
Hm.
Do you not remember that, Jen?
(SINGING) Oh, do you believe in love after love?
Yeah.
That's really good.
Thank you.
Thanks.
I don't know.
Maybe I'll do something with it one day.
Just a Cher--
Yeah.
--show?
A show--
I didn't realize that I did that.
That must be like a tick.
What an annoying tick.
No, it's great.
You have an-- you just--
Oh my God, a wake up call on Ellen.
Yeah.
I can't imagine how annoying that must be.
Yeah.
You were trying to memorize the lines, and I just kept going--
And you kept doing Cher.
Did you not know you were singing Cher?
Not really.
Yeah, like--
I was like, I do.
I believe in life after love.
I get it.
Yeah.
And you rap, apparently.
He's really, really good.
Like, your own songs?
I'm starting to sweat.
Do you see sweat pouring out of me?
Yeah, I do see you sweating.
I'm like, I think I'm going to have to rap on "Ellen."
No.
No, you don't need to.
I do, but I'm afraid I'm going to have the--
yeah, my mic's on it, and the boots.
Anyway--
What, to take the jacket off?
Boob sweat.
I get moob sweat.
You get moob sweat?
Moob.
Oh, what-- moob.
A mooby.
It's-- I think it's because of deodorant.
Not to brag, but I--
I saw something about this.
I put it on.
Yeah.
I put some on a couple of days ago,
and it's an antiperspirant.
And that means that the sweat is like, uh uh,
I'm not coming out.
I'm going to come out right here.
It wants to come out my pits.
It can't.
Travels to my moobs.
Oh.
Moobs?
No.
No, you said-- you went like that.
You went--
Mine are-- mine hang very low.
Man boobs.
Yeah.
They hang low.
That's what I thought.
But when you went like that, then
I thought maybe I was wrong about what moobs meant.
But--
No, that's mutts.
Yeah.
No.
Well, I guess they'd just be called--
no.
Hey!
There's water in here.
Guys, I got to take this phone call.
This is a really fun game, and--
Oh!
No, no.
No--
He's attacking me!
Yeah.
You have to name the three things first
and then hit the buzzer.
OK.
You have to do it within five seconds.
So we're going to start with you.
Oh, Five Second Rule.
Yeah, Five Second Rule.
Ah.
So, I give you five seconds to name these things.
Put your hands-- you can put them there.
Name three movies that take place in space.
Galaxy Quest, Passengers, Star Wars, Star Trek.
And five seconds.
0.5 seconds to spare.
Nice.
All right.
Come on!
All right, Jennifer.
Name three planets besides Earth.
Mercury, Jupiter, and Venus.
Mm-hm.
Ah!
For the love of God.
Broken.
Thank God I did that twice.
I know.
Yeah.
It would have been horrible.
Chris, name three of your favorite body parts
of the opposite sex.
Lungs, nipples, and feet.
Yeah.
All right.
In that order.
Jen, same question, of the opposite sex.
OK, upper back, bicep, and that--
that dent.
Yeah.
Obliques?
Yeah.
All right.
Hoo!
All right.
Right here?
Right here.
Oh God!
I just realized--
It depends on who you are.
No, that was not--
I just realized that looked like I was totally pointing down
the side.
It's so much worse than I was oblivious to it too.
I just kept going, um--
And what is it?
What is it?
Um--
What's that called?
What do you call this?
What do you call that thing?
What do you call that?
I still stand by that as well.
All right.
Tell us three things you should never say to your wife.
What-- I wasn't listening.
Those pants do make you look fat.
Yeah, yeah, those pants?
Yeah, don't wear those.
Are sure you want to eat that?
Yeah.
Are you sure you want to eat that?
That's a good one.
That's a good one to say to your wife.
Oh man.
Tell us three things someone should never say to you.
Turn off the reality TV.
It's rottening your brain, ruining your brain, which
apparently is true.
It's rottening your brain.
--game.
I guess that's it.
It's too late.
You have keep going.
you're right.
So I guess--
Yeah.
I guess don't tell me the truth.
Give us three nicknames for making love.
Oh--
God.
They're giving you all--
Whoopee,
It's the first one.
And hitting it?
Isn't that one?
That's not really making love, though.
What's one more?
Just go straight in for humping.
Humping.
Right.
You just got to--
All right.
So you've got lots of them.
Name three.
Oh, I can't repeat.
No.
Screwing, doing it-- what?
No?
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
They were giving you a hint.
Give us three of your favorite red carpet poses.
I call this one icon.
I've never seen that.
All right, I think that's all.
Thank God.
I know, it was--
But I won though, right?
Yeah, pretty much.
Woo hoo!
Yep.