-Guys, tonight was the big Rockefeller Center
Christmas tree lighting.
Did you see it? Well, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
There were thousands of people out in the plaza.
It was really nice watching parents show their kids
the true meaning of claustrophobia.
[ Laughter and applause ]
The tree lighting is such a great tradition, though.
It's fun for everyone -- except the guy who waited
four hours in the freezing cold,
then sneezed and totally missed it.
It's like, "Ah-choo!"
"Oh, you're kidding me! You're joking me!"
[ Laughter and applause ]
But the tree is beautiful. It's so pretty.
You barely notice the 80-foot orange extension cord
running from the star to the bottom.
You barely -- You can barely see it.
It's cute. [ Laughter and applause ]
Actually, I read that the star weighs 900 pounds
and features 3 million crystals.
[ Audience "Oohs" ]
900 pounds and 3 million crystals,
or as guys from New Jersey call that a pinky ring.
"Hey, whoa." -"Oh!"
-"Hey, yo." -"Hey!"
-"We gonna light this tree over here?
Why don't you light it right now.
Turn the tree on. No one has to know."
[ Laughter ]
Oh, I saw that tonight was also
the Christmas-tree-lighting ceremony at the White House.
President Trump said it's the only time
he can press a giant button without everyone in America
being absolutely terrified. [ Laughter and applause ]
"3, 2 -- Ooh! Gotcha!"
Why would you do it on two?
[ Laughter ]
Who does that?
This is interesting.
If you wanted to go to the White House ceremony,
you can get free tickets through an online lottery.
[ Laughter ]
Nobody did, but you could have done it.
[ Laughter ]
-You gotta know how -- -Who does it on two?
-Why would you do it? Yeah.
-Everyone's waiting for one. -Yeah, exactly.
-Everybody's gonna cheer on one, but let's do --
No. Why? -"I'm in charge."
[ Laughter ]
-"I go with my gut."
[ Laughter ]
Doesn't make any sense.
Well, the White House and 30 Rock
had their tree-lighting ceremonies on the same night.
In many ways, the events are similar,
but there are some key differences.
I'll show you what I mean.
First, at 30 Rock, everyone gathers to see the tree get lit.
At the White House, everyone who works for Trump gets lit.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Next at 30 Rock, music superstar John Legend sings the hits.
And at the White House,
Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross plays the spoons.
-Wow! [ Laughter and applause ]
♪ Camptown races ♪
-Finally at 30 Rock, the tree is donated
to Habitat for Humanity to build homes.
At the White House, the tree is chopped up to build the wall.
[ Laughter and applause ]
"The wall." [ Laughter and applause ]
Well, tomorrow, Trump heads to Argentina for the G20 summit,
where world leaders are hoping to issue
some joint statements on climate change.
Trump actually co-wrote statements
with several other leaders, though I'm not sure
he had all of his facts straight.
Check out some of these joint statements.
British Prime Minister Theresa May wrote,
"The reason so many ecosystems are disappearing is because..."
and Trump wrote, "I fired them."
[ Laughter and applause ]
German Chancellor Angela Merkel wrote,
"We can conserve our available water if..."
Trump wrote, "...we drink it with two hands
as slowly as possible."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wrote,
"The only thing more concerning
than the fallout of El Niño is..."
Trump wrote, "...the fallout of el baño.
I wouldn't go in there if I were you."
[ Laughter and applause ]
What? -Why would he --
Why would he release that statement?
-And finally, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe wrote,
"Reduce, reuse..." and Trump wrote, "...retweet!"
[ Laughter and applause ]
They're not on the same page. -No, not at all.
-Some more political news.
I saw that Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown
is seriously considering running for president.
And it turns out he's not the only one.
Check out what these other Senators had to say
when asked if they thought about running.
First, Senator Todd Young said, "I thought about running,
but I think I might be, too, well, my last name."
[ Laughter ]
Then Senator Jeff Flake said, "I thought about running,
but to be honest, I'd probably drop out
at the last second, and, well, my last name."
[ Laughter ]
And Senator Angus King said, "I thought about running,
but I don't really want to be a president.
I'd rather be a, well, my last name."
[ Laughter ]
And finally, Senator Sheldon Whitehouse said,
"Of course I thought about running,
but where would I live, you idiot?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
-That's so rude. -Little harsh!
-Yeah.
-Hey, guys, did you guys see this?
There's a massive cow in Australia.
Have you seen photos of this?
[ Laughter ] Have you not seen this yet?
There's a giant cow or something like that.
It's going viral.
It's in Australia, and people can't --
Look at this thing. Check this out.
-A cow Down Under has risen to international stardom.
-The steer is named Knickers. Kind of a big guy.
[ Audience "Oohs" ]
He weighs more than 3,000 pounds.
-Holy! -More than 6 feet tall.
-Wow! -Wow!
-That's the only cow on Earth
who goes up to a farmer and says, "Milk me!"
[ Laughter and applause ]
Listen to this, guys. I heard that Prince Harry
feels imprisoned living in a royal palace.
To be fair, you wouldn't feel great, either,
if you were 34 years old
and still crashing at your grandma's.
[ Laughter ]
Guys, I'm very excited about this.
We have Macaulay Culkin on the show tonight.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Yes!
-Macaulay Culkin.
And this time, he's actually supposed to be
in New York during the holidays.
[ Laughter ]
Also, from "Law & Order: SVU,"
Ice T and Mariska Hargitay are here!
-Oh! [ Cheers and applause ]
It's actually weird. Earlier, I went to
the dressing room to say hi, but they had gone missing.
♪♪
And, finally, I read, earlier this month,
a mysterious rumble shook the Earth,
but experts don't know what caused it.
Though I'm pretty sure it was just
that giant cow whispering, "Moo!"
We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots!