My mom is an enabler.
She has enabled Jeff to continue this lifestyle.
She'll do anything for anybody.
She hasn't stood up for herself
or tried to put him on a better path.
Instead, she just gives him whatever he asks for.
Jeff's never paid rent.
She makes sure he has clothes and shoes and toiletries.
She bought him a car, pays his insurance,
pays his phone bill.
I think my grandma's really scared to lose my dad.
Well Janet says her 45 year old son Jeff
moved back into his childhood bedroom
16 years ago and has never left.
She admits she does just about everything for Jeff
because she is incapable of standing up to him
and apparently just does not have the word no
in her vocabulary.
Take a look.
I enable my son 'cause I do not like controversy.
Jeff is definitely lazy.
I just sit in here and watch TV.
I've been the one raising my grandsons.
Within the last 16 years,
I have spent over $100,000 on Jeff and his kids.
I believe that he's reverted back
to being a high schooler.
Jeff didn't have any responsibilities back then.
Just take care of himself.
For the most part he was put loose and hands free.
He can go, stay out all night,
go wherever he wants on the weekends
'cause mom will take care of the kids.
His top priority is hanging out with his friends
instead of with his kids.
Jeff just left and said he would be back.
Never said where he was going.
I am still working because I have to support Jeff
and his sons.
I would love to retire if I wasn't supporting them.
It's unfair.
I've tried to kick Jeff out of the house
but then I let him stay.
I always say yes.
Well you've been listening to everything so far, right?
Yeah.
The hell are you thinking?
(laughing)
Well it wasn't so bad at the beginning.
When the first. First four or five years?
It wasn't so bad when he was screaming at us every day
and couldn't even go a whole day without yelling at y'all?
That's ridiculous.
I'm sorry to be so blunt about it
but that is ridiculous.
And you say you would love to retire.
And you know that because you've done it before
but then you came out of retirement
to start working for him and his children
instead of him working.
Right, yeah.
Do you think you're an enabler?
Oh I know I am.
Because I made a list.
You came out of retirement
(laughing) and so you worked full time.
Jeff and sons live rent free.
You pay all Jeff's bills.
You buy all the clothes, food, the couple of cars.
You cook all the meals, clean, does laundry.
100 grand.
He buys weed with the money that you give him.
You know that, right?
Yeah.
You raise the sons.
I mean, football, clubs, doctors, parent teacher conference,
you do all that, right?
He's too busy?
Yeah. (laughing)
He just doesn't wanna do it.
You buy all the Christmas and birthday presents
and then you sign his name to them.
I do that so they wouldn't.
They knew.
We all knew.
Yeah, it was not a secret ever.
He admitted it to me.
Like he didn't even have any shame in it.
It was, oh yeah, grandma went and bought you something.
I'm not quite sure what it is but she said it's, you know.
What did I get you for Christmas
this year? An electronic thing.
(laughing)
Or he'll be like, I'm gonna be just as surprised as you are
when you open that up in the morning.
Do you agree that this needs to change?
I agree, yeah.
For you and for him
because you agree this isn't helping him.
Enabling, that's a word that gets used so much
that it's lost its meaning
but it really boils down to the fact that
you're making it possible for him to do what he's doing
which is crippling for him.
Yeah, I know.
I need to quit. You're making it possible
for him to be lazy, to be unmotivated
and that's like tripping him up when he's trying to walk.