NOW IT IS TIME TO PLAY WEDDED MISS.
WEDDED MISS.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) WHEN A MAN AND WOMAN LOVE EACH
OTHER VERY MUCH, THEY SOMETIMES GET MARRIED IN SOME REALLY
ILL-ADVISED THEMED WEDDINGS, AND THEN THESE PHOTOS LIVE FOREVER
ON PINTEREST.
(LAUGHTER) UH, LIKE THIS FLOWER GIRL
DRESSED AS A DALEK FROM A
(LAUGHTER) ...I ACTUALLY THINK IS SUPER
ADORBS, BY THE WAY.
SHE'S GOT THE LITTLE WHISKER!
UH, THIS IS PERFECT, BECAUSE, LIKE A DALEK, TODDLERS FEEL NO
COMPASSION OR REMORSE. UM...
(LAUGHTER) SO, COMEDIANS, I'M GONNA READ
YOU TWO WEDDING THEMES, AND FOR 250 POINTS, I WANT YOU TO GUESS
WHICH ONE IS REAL AND WHICH ONE WE JUST MADE UP, ALL RIGHT?
FIRST ONE, A WEDDING AT THE CHEERS BAR WITH EVERYONE DRESSED
UP AS CHARACTERS OR...
A KLINGON WEDDING?
DOUG.
>> UH... (LAUGHS) AS MUCH AS I'D HAVE LOVED TO
ATTEND EITHER...
(LAUGHTER) ...I'M GONNA GO WITH KLINGON
WEDDING.
>> HARDWICK: LET'S FIND OUT.
KLINGON!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) >> WE'RE TOO UGLY TO GET
MARRIED, SO LET'S MAKE OURSELVES UGLIER.
(LAUGHTER) >> WE'LL BE PRETEND UGLY AND
REAL UGLY.
>> HARDWICK: UH, LITTLE KNOWN FACT-- KLINGON WEDDINGS ARE
INCREDIBLY POPULAR. UH...
>> OH, MY GOD, I CANNOT BELIEVE THOSE PEOPLE HAVE FOUND TRUE
LOVE.
>> BUT IS IT... INSTEAD OF, LIKE, BREAKING A GLASS, DO THEY
JUST, LIKE, KILL A BABY AND DRINK ITS BLOOD?
>> HARDWICK: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
YEAH. MM-HMM.
>> IT'S, LIKE, YOU CAN ONLY GET HOTTER FROM HERE.
(LAUGHTER) >> MOST COUPLES WANT TO HAVE THE
SAME FOREHEAD.
(LAUGHTER) >> IT'S A PERSONAL CHOICE, DOUG,
IT'S A PERSONAL CHOICE.
>> HARDWICK: NEXT ONE.
A FREAK SHOW WEDDING WITH THE BRIDE AND GROOM HANGING FROM
HOOKS, OR... A FAULT IN OUR STARS WEDDING WITH THE BRIDE AND
GROOM WEARING OXYGEN TANKS? MEGAN.
>> THE FREAK SHOW WEDDING, COME ON.
>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, LET'S FIND OUT.
THE FREAK SHOW WEDDING!
>> WHOA, OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE FLOATING.
>> I JUST LIKE THAT SHE'S WEARING THE TRADITIONAL HOT
GREEN.
>> SO THE VOWS WERE, "OW."
>> HARDWICK: OW.
>> "DO YOU TAKE THIS... OW."
>> HARDWICK: BONUS POINTS, NAME SOMETHING ON THEIR REGISTRY.
MEGAN.
>> UH, NEOSPORIN?
>> HARDWICK: YEAH, SURE.
>> OW.
>> HARDWICK: OKAY, POINTS, YEAH.
PROBABLY.
DOUG.
>> UH, THEY PUT, UH, STOOLS ON THEIR REGISTRY SO THEY COULD GET
DOWN.
>> HARDWICK: POINTS.
>> OH, I HOPE SOMEBODY GETS THOSE.
>> HARDWICK: DOUG.
>> UH, THEY FOUND EACH OTHER 'CAUSE THEY'RE BOTH SWINGERS.
>> HARDWICK: HEY, POINTS.
NEXT ONE, STAR WARS WEDDING WITH ADMIRAL ACKBAR BEING MARRIED BY
THE OFFICIANT SLAVE LEIA...
(BELL DINGS) OR...
>> I'M READY.
>> HARDWICK: SAVED BY THE BELL WEDDING WITH THE COUPLE BEING
MARRIED BY THE ACTUAL DUSTIN DIAMOND.
KURT.
>> GOD DAMN IT, STAR WARS WEDDING.
>> HARDWICK: LET'S FIND OUT.
YES, STAR WARS WEDDING.
BUT, WAIT...
>> HE'S-HE'S SO EXCITED.
>> HARDWICK: WAIT... BUT...
WHEN ADMIRAL... RIGHT BEFORE HE PUTS THE RINGS ON HIM, HE GOES,
"IT'S A TRAP!" AND THEN NO WEDDING.
>> IT'S A TRAP!
>> HARDWICK: IT'S A TRAP!
>> HE'S IN THE MIDDLE OF SAYING IT: "IT'S A TRAP!"
>> HARDWICK: IT'S A TRAP!
IT'S A TRAP!
>> IT'S A TRAP!
HE COULDN'T... THEY COULDN'T JUST GET ORANGE PAINT FOR HIS
HANDS-- HE HAD TO HAVE GLOVES.
>> HARDWICK: GLOVES.
>> GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, STAR WARS WEIRDOS.
>> HARDWICK: I... NO.
MY HANDS WERE TERRIBLY BURNED-- IT WAS A TRAP.
(GRUNTS) >> HE CAN'T WAIT TO SLITHER HIS
JABBA THE HUT UP INSIDE HER SAND...
>> HARDWICK: 100 POINTS TO KURT.
UH...
COMEDIANS, WHY DOES THIS COUPLE END UP GETTING DIVORCED?
KURT.
>> OH, UM, YOU KNOW, THEY JUST GREW APART, IT'S ACTUALLY KIND
OF A SAD STORY, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD JOKE ABOUT IT, BUT HE DID
HAVE A REALLY TINY LIGHTSABER!
GOD DAMN IT, YOU MADE ME JOKE ABOUT IT.
>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS, OH, OKAY, POINTS.
MEGAN.
>> WELL...
LIKE, NOT TO GET TOO SERIOUS, BUT, LIKE, HE IS MON CALAMARI
AND SHE'S PRESBYTERIAN, AND THEY JUST HAVE...
THEY HAVE DIFFERENT CORE VALUES.
>> HARDWICK: POINTS.
>> NOT THE SAME.
>> HARDWICK: DOUG.
>> THEIR FIRST MISTAKE WAS HONEYMOONING IN THE SARLACC PIT.
>> HARDWICK: YEAH, YEAH.
THAT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA.
YEAH.
UH, THEY WERE MARRIED FOR A WHILE WHEN THEY SPLIT UP, BUT
NOW THAT GUY IS SOLO.
ALL RIGHT, UM...
NEXT ONE.
A BEAUTY AND THE BEAST WEDDING WITH THE GROOM IN FULL BEAST
MAKEUP...
(BELL DINGS) OR PULP FICTION WEDDING WITH THE
BEST MAN DRESSED AS THE GIMP.
DOUG.
>> (LAUGHS) THIS TIME THERE'S ONLY ONE THAT
I WOULD LIKE TO BE AT.
AND THAT WOULD BE THE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST WEDDING.
>> HARDWICK: LET US FIND OUT.
>> SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL.
>> HARDWICK: YES, OF COURSE.
FOR BONUS POINTS, PLEASE GIVE ME A TOAST AS THE BEST MAN.
KURT.
>> UH, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST?
MORE LIKE BOOTY AND THOSE TEATS, YOU SEE... I'M DRUNK, I'M SORRY.
>> HARDWICK: POINTS.
MEGAN.
>> IT'S A GOOD THING STACY LIKES DOGGY STYLE, 'CAUSE THAT'S THE
ONLY WAY I DO IT.
>> HARDWICK: POINTS.
>> 'CAUSE I... 'CAUSE I'M REAL HORNY.
>> HARDWICK: DOUG.
>> TALE AS OLD AS TIME.
SONG AS OLD AS RHYME.
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.
>> HARDWICK: WHAT A COP-OUT.
>> THAT'S A VERY...
>> THE PERFECT TOAST FOR THE OCCASION.
>> HARDWICK: A LITTLE TOO PERFECT.
ALL RIGHT, POINTS.
LAST ONE, A KNIGHT RIDER WEDDING WHERE THE COUPLE IS MARRIED BY
KITT OR A GHOSTBUSTERS WEDDING WHERE THE GROOMSMEN AIN'T AFRAID
OF NO GHOSTS.
KURT BRAUNOHLER.
>> GHOSTBUSTERS WEDDING.
>> HARDWICK: YEAH, PROBABLY.
LET'S FIND OUT.
YES, OF COURSE.
WHEN WAS DAVID SPADE A GHOSTBUSTER?
>> HE CAN'T WAIT TO GET HIS STREAM SLIMED.
FOR BONUS POINTS, WHAT WOULD THE THEME OF YOUR DREAM WEDDING BE,
KURT?
>> OH, UH, OH, IT WOULD BE, UH, UH, TICKLE ME FELCHMO.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT-- IT'S A REAL COMMON WEDDING.
>> HARDWICK: UH, MEGAN.
>> I WOULD-I WOULD MARRY A RESCUE PUPPY.
I WOULD.
>> MEGAN, WHAT'S YOUR DREAM WEDDING?
"OH, SOMETHING SAD AND NOT ALLOWED BY LAW."
>> THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.