How to make him miss you?
How to make any guy miss you.
I know that if you're asking this question, you're wanting to create an environment [or]
a dynamic between you and a guy that you're interested in that is so powerful, that is
so life-giving, that it has both of you wanting to come back for more and more and ultimately,
create something long-lasting.
So in this video, I'm gonna share with you three tips – three ways that you can create
this environment that has him automatically and naturally wanting to come back and ultimately
has you wanting to come back to the connection as well.
So, how do we do that?
The first tip I'm going to give you is one that will allow you to do something to yourself.
It's a maneuver that you can make internally that has you step into your value and take
pressure off of him.
The second thing we're going to talk about is something that you can give to him.
A gift that you can give to him.
It's one of the most precious gifts that you can give a guy and I'm going to really encourage
you to give this to him with a level of discernment which means that you need to know this guy's
character a bit and that it is of high quality before you give it.
So that's the caveat.
And number three we're going to talk about what you can do with him to create the relationship
as a life spring that allows both of you to come in and get recharged and then take on
the world in a more playful and powerful manner.
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So, without further ado let's go ahead and get into the video.
This video is a little bit older.
I release it on someone else's channel, and it got rave reviews and I had to share it
with my audience.
So, enjoy.
So, let's go ahead and dive into the first principle: number one, take full responsibility,
take 100% responsibility for your individual happiness.
Now, this may seem obvious to some of you watching the video and to others maybe not
so much.
There's some interesting romantic myth that seems to circulate either consciously or subconsciously
between partners – that it's the other person's job to make us happy, that it's my job to
make them happy.
And if they're not happy, somehow I'm failing them.
Now this is not a recipe for making your partner miss you.
This is a recipe for making your partner resent you, and feel inadequate, and feel pressured
because when it comes down to your emotions nobody has control over your emotions except
you.
So, if you're not happy and you take it on as your responsibility to make yourself happy
by beginning to get in touch with the things that you love, by beginning to take care of
yourself, by beginning to really not blame anybody but yourself for your happiness or
lack thereof, you actually take a tremendous amount of pressure off of the man that you're
with to where you are no longer someone that needs to be fixed, someone that needs to be
saved, someone needs to be pulled out of the trenches of your own unhappiness.
And you get to be a partner where the man can interact with you as an equal rather than
as a hero.
And this is an incredibly powerful tool for making a man miss you because no man wants
to go from all of the pressures that are in his life to suddenly feeling like he's got
all of these obligations and duties to have to fix your emotional world as well.
So, that step one is take full responsibility of your happiness.
Make it an inside job.
It is your job to be happy because when you do that you offer him the greatest gift in
the relationship and that is your best self.
Alright.
The second step to make a man miss you is to trust him, and this cannot be overemphasized.
It is one of the most important key ingredients in any healthy relationship where there is
desire and longing, and two people being able to come back together, as well as pull apart
and individuate and find themselves and then be able to come back together again.
It all is operated and works on trust.
Now, when you trust a man there is a great gift that you give him.
When you trust him, you are choosing no longer to see him through your own insecurities.
You are choosing rather to allow him to create himself as the best version of himself.
In fact, you are believing that he is showing up as the best version of himself.
When he, perhaps pulls away, if he needs to pull away from the connection a little bit
to individuate for him to perhaps find himself and regain his balance and then come back
into the relationship, there's a certain trust that you give him that you know that he's
going to come back, that you trust that he's going to come back in connection, and that
you trust that he's got good intentions.
There's an innocent until proven guilty mindset here.
And what happens when you trust him too is you actually give him the opportunity to demonstrate
his integrity, to demonstrate what he's really made of.
Now to drive home this example, let's just pretend for a moment that there's two versions
of you: one version of you that goes to work and you have a boss that doesn't trust you
and another version of you that goes to work and you have a boss that trusts you completely.
Which work environment do you want to stay at for 10 years?
Which one is going to have the most life?
The one where you feel completely micro managed and your boss is suspicious of you, and you
feel like you're walking on rice paper and one wrong move is gonna send you away and
get fired?
Or, one where you feel that your best self is seen?
One where your boss is enabling you to have creative expression on how you want to be
at work.
Probably, the latter.
Now, if you map it to relationships it's a very similar experience you want to be trusted
because then that way you get to be your best self.
He wants to be trusted so that he has an opportunity to grow into who he fully is while in the
relationship with you.
So, that's step 2, trust him.
Alright.
Number three to make a man miss you is to bring play presence and sexuality into the
relationship and connection, and here's why it's so important.
Most men go their entire lives living in a very narrow box of what are acceptable emotions
to feel pride, anger, hunger, lust, but anything else, typically there's sometimes some shame
around it.
And I may not be covering all the emotions but if we compare the feminine experience
of the masculine experience, women have this superpower gift of having so much more emotional
flexibility than a man.
There's so much more comfort and courage to go into all of the emotions and still come
out the other end and be okay and not be ashamed about it.
Men, on the other hand, feel like they're walking on a tightrope.
And one of the gifts that you give as a woman is that you offer yourself as the emotional
gatekeeper to this rich world of experience that he may have dissed someone ever since
he was a kid.
But there's a part of him that is craving reunion with that.
I can tell you from personal experience being a man and being in contact with a woman who
is self-expressed in her emotions and not afraid to bring those at the table, he's wildly
attractive.
I get to vicariously live and feel through her and she actually gets me to open up and
feel things that I may not have felt when I'm single so, there is a priceless value
in that.
And when you bring presents what that might look like is helping him slow down and not
be so future-oriented stopping and smelling the roses.
Playing with him.
Flirting with him.
Wrestling with him.
Joking around with him.
Getting him out of this serious mode of goal-oriented focus that he might be typically in.
And lastly, sexuality.
Helping him get out of his head and into his body and feeling other parts of his body in
the present moment.
[It’s a] very different experience than if he is this hyper masculine guy who's just
focused on making money and achieving goals at work.
This is the power that you bring to the table as an emotionally expressed woman and I want
to invite you to step more and more into that with him to make him miss you.