[Music]
hey everyone and welcome to top think
today we're going to learn about
seven things you must let go of to be
happy
now let's begin number one finding
imperfections do you find flaws in
everything and
everyone when you're unhappy the world
around you is selfish and cruel
day in and day out people hurt each
other deceive each other
and they take advantage of each other
there's plenty of negativity in the
world
but there's also beauty and kindness too
well here's the problem when you're
unhappy you only see one version of the
world
your brain becomes biased if you're a
pessimist for example you see the worst
aspects of
everyone you meet in your eyes they're
self-serving or manipulative
but your brain sees what it wants to see
so if you want to be happy let go of
your negativity and change your
perspective
free yourself from the bias that
moderates your view of the world
for example try to see the good in
people the world isn't perfect and
people aren't either
but if you want to be happy you have to
let yourself
be happy you have to savor the
meaningful moments in your life
even if they aren't perfect everyone has
problems everything has
imperfection but if you spend your life
staring at those imperfections
then you'll never appreciate the bigger
picture
this is true of your friends your
partners your jobs and especially
yourself
you aren't perfect no and you never will
be you can always find reasons to
complain about yourself
but if you're concentrating on your
weaknesses
then you'll never discover your
strengths in other words don't criticize
yourself for all the things you're not
instead be happy about all the things
that you are number two
endless preparation do you feel
unprepared
do you procrastinate your goals because
you aren't ready to face them
many people feel insecure about their
ability to overcome obstacles
when you imagine achieving your goals
you imagine a final product
a goal that you've achieved but on the
way is a minefield of obstacles hurdles
and unforeseen challenges
you may think to yourself well what if i
don't know what to do
what if i'm not prepared for what comes
next
everyone experiences these fears because
uncertainty
is terrifying you want to know what
comes next so you can prepare yourself
for success
but here's the simple truth you cannot
prepare for everything
you just can't you'll never be 100 ready
to succeed
because there will always be obstacles
that you didn't expect
luckily you don't need to be 100 percent
prepared you don't have to predict every
single challenge that might come your
way
the best way to accomplish any goal is
to learn as you go
you find success by failing over and
over
again you become a master by learning
the basics because everyone starts
somewhere
every successful person rose through the
ranks by facing their fears
by taking risks and by trying their best
even when they didn't feel
confident or prepared so stop trying to
prepare for every eventuality
instead instill within yourself the
strength and confidence to attack
new challenges with everything you've
got believe in your own ability to find
success
because no matter how much you prepare
you'll never be totally ready
no matter how many books you read or
classes you take nothing compares
to the real thing so learn by doing
build your confidence by experiencing
your goals in action take a risk knowing
it might blow up in your face
because that's how you improve
number three the lonely void
have you ever said to yourself i'm
lonely is loneliness the reason why
you're unhappy
many people crave love and companionship
for the wrong reasons
they don't want to connect with another
person they don't want to share their
lives with someone
instead they want to fill an empty void
in their life
but romance isn't the answer a lack of
companionship doesn't make you lonely
in other words you're not lonely because
you're alone you're lonely because you
don't feel comfortable with yourself
that's why you place the burden of your
self-esteem on someone else
your friends and partners become
responsible for your happiness
but lifelong happiness comes from within
so if you feel lonely it's time to get
to know yourself
don't fill that space in your life with
friendships and relationships you need
to build a stronger connection with
yourself
value the time you spend alone deepen
your knowledge of who you are
because you can't be anyone else so the
more you get to know yourself
the more your relationships will change
most people don't realize how much your
identity and self-esteem
impact the quality of your relationships
to put it simply people like people who
know
and love themselves so if you're happy
and confident
others will feel happy and confident
around you yeah
your attitude is infectious and your
self-esteem radiates outward
so the next time you're feeling lonely
spend some quality time
with yourself be the kind of person you
want to be
with because that's the person that'll
make you happy
number four imaginary intensity
not every conflict is do or die you like
many people may over
intensify the smallest moments in your
life your nerves get the best of you
your thoughts run wild
and something as small as a conversation
weighs heavily on your mind
when you infuse so much intensity in
your life you develop unreasonable
expectations for yourself
every situation carries so much weight
that you're constantly
staring down insurmountable obstacles
but most
obstacles are smaller than you realize
here's a common obstacle that countless
people struggle with on a daily basis
how often do you talk to people you
don't know ultimately a conversation
with a stranger is short
easy and painless you may talk about the
weather or current events but that's
about it
most of these conversations end within a
few minutes yet people are petrified of
opening their mouths
people get scared because they
catastrophize small
simple interactions this may be a common
experience for people who are nervous or
insecure in social situations
the most basic experiences devolve into
imaginary disasters
a small part of you knows how easy it
should be but your expectations spiral
out of control
so if you want to live a happier life
just take these moments with a grain of
salt
remind yourself that most experiences
are not life-changing
most conversations are forgettable most
job interviews
fizzle into nothing instead of crumbling
to pieces just take a breath
relax your mind and control your
expectations
number five black or white most things
in life
are not black or white but your brain
takes every experience to the extreme
all right let's say you want to write a
novel you create your first draft but it
doesn't turn out the way you want
you have a bad habit of thinking in
black and white so you say to yourself
i'm a failure i should never write
another page again
this train of thought leaves you unhappy
and unfulfilled
every experience has positives and
negatives strengths and weaknesses
nothing's a hundred percent good or a
hundred percent bad
it's always somewhere in the middle sure
your first book may be a mess
but there are glimmers of hope at the
end of the day even a complete disaster
can be a valuable learning experience
in other words something good can come
from your most embarrassing failures
failure doesn't doom you to a lifetime
of disappointment just like one's
success doesn't guarantee a lifetime of
achievement
everything exists on a spectrum so cut
yourself some slack
and roll with the punches
[Music]
number six false comparisons
do you compare yourself to other people
do you measure your success against the
accomplishments
of others comparisons can destroy your
self-esteem
there will always always be someone out
there wearing buying or experiencing
something that you haven't
but that's okay there's no right or
wrong way to look
act think or experience the world around
you when you compare yourself to other
people you're not doing your own life
any justice you have your own approach
to the world
you solve problems you make connections
and you find inspiration in your own way
the life you live is right for you and
that's all that matters
comparisons are especially detrimental
on social media
social media profiles present a
romanticized version of someone's life
they show their picture perfect
vacations and their extravagant luxuries
but that's just a small sliver of who
they really are
they have problems and they make
mistakes just like you they get
bored and they care too much about what
other people think
but they want to show the world a
specific image of who they
are and that image doesn't include
boredom failure
or insecurity so don't compare yourself
to people on social media
real life is much more complicated than
anything online
appreciate your life for what it is
otherwise you're never going to feel
satisfied with the life you've chosen
number seven outside expectations
do you make your own decisions or do you
live your life to satisfy someone else
many people never find happiness because
they don't follow their own
compass you may not feel a sense of
purpose in your life
because you didn't choose the life
you're living you let someone else make
your decisions for you
you did what you were told or what you
were supposed to do
maybe you felt obligated by your family
or your peers
maybe you were following in someone
else's footsteps thinking their life
would make you
happy and now you're looking back at
your life wishing that you'd done things
differently
ultimately no one should control your
life but you
so if you want something it's your
responsibility to claim it for yourself
so turn over a new leaf make decisions
that come directly from you
decisions that you can be proud of
because your personal decisions
empower you to live the kind of life you
want to live
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