Welcome to this week's video blog.
i got an email the other day problem in from a woman with a three-year-old asking,
when should she start potty training? The
problem was that her son
was expressing no interest whatsoever in learning to use the potty.
in fact whenever she talked about it with him and he got quite angry and
upset about it
and really seemed adamant that he did not want to start potty training.
She was looking for a bit of guidance in that particular situation.
That's actually a fairly common question. It tends to happen more
often with boys than it does with girls.
We can talk
about the differences between boys and girls. I do find that a lot of boys
have some resistance to the idea of starting potty training.
My advice to this
viewer, though, was that
you need to decide
if you are ready.
When it becomes an issue of,
"Can he understand a few simple instructions, can he
communicate to you on some level"?, then yes, you should be looking
for those signs.
But a three-year-old, I'm pretty confident,
fairly decent communication skills
and understands
absolutely everything.
If your child is three and up, and
you are ready to start potty training, then you make the choice, and you go for it.
i think that too often we rely on our toddler preschoolers
to guide us in this journey of parenting. I se-
a lot of parents
over talking issues,
asking lots of questions of their toddler and preschooler,
looking for them to
cooperate, I suppose, or get on board with whatever your plans are for them.
And most toddlers won't.
Toddlers do not like change and surprise.
They like consistency, they like routine,
they like predictability.To throw that upon them,
something they have no experience with whatsoever, have no idea what's involved
in the whole process of using the toilet,
they're 9 times out of 10 going to tell you, "No," they don't want to.
This is an issue where you need to step in as the parent
and make an appropriate decision. Once you've made the decision, you need to
stand behind it.
That might mean that your 3-year-old has lots of fits, maybe
a tantrum on the first day. You say
"Hey, we're giving this a shot.
No more diapers for you, it's potty training time."
I would suggest you give them a bit of warning on this,
so maybe a day or two before you're about to begin your weekend
of diaper-free potty training.
Just set the stage that
we're going to have a bit of a celebration on Saturday. That's the day we're going to
say goodbye to the diapers
and start using the toilet.
If he says no, or starts to kick up about it, just
let it go. Just say, "OK, it's not Saturday yet. No need to worry," and proceed with your
day. Just drop little hints here and there
that the day is coming. All right?
So there are no huge surprise when that day arrives.
Then, again, once you've decided to do this, you need to stand behind that
decision. If you waffle back and forth just because your child is giving pushback,
then you are teaching your child that you do not mean what you say, and if he acts
badly enough,
you will give in.
I know that no parent wants to set up
that sort of a situation, where you're basically rewarding bad behavior, so hang in there.
I had a great friend who
started potty training her three-year-old son, and he was so mad for about the
first two hours of the day.
He even threatened
he was going to take a pee in her purse. [laughs]
I don't know where he got that from,
but he was so angry about it.
They just
tried to ignore it the best they could.
They continued to remind him that this was happening regardless,
and by the end of the day problem solved. He was over it.
He'd had at least a couple of successful
events on the potty.
That's why I want to really encourage you that you need to stand
behind your decision. Again, when you're deciding if your child is potty
training-ready,
the biggest question you need to ask yourself is,
are you
potty training-ready? If you're ready to take this on, even though it might be
bit of a challenge at first,
then I say
you've got your answer. Go for it. Might as well get
it started and over with, and be diaper free.
Really, that is something to keep in mind, that your
ultimate goal here is to
have a child who can use the potty independently,
and what a blessing. You no longer have to use
diapers, you no longer have to do any cleanup.
In fact, when you get to the day where your child runs off and goes to the washroom all
by themselves,
that's a great day. That's a day worth celebrating.
So I say, go for it.
Thanks for watching.
Sleep well.