Welcome back.
I'm still here and, of course, my executive producer, Andy,
is outside at a very safe distance.
Although, there's no such thing as a safe distance with Andy.
But he really loves being a part of the show,
even though he didn't pay attention to a lot of it.
Andy, I'm sure you know, Easter was last week.
I know.
Before quarantine, I was going to have my nieces come over
and do an Easter egg hunt.
But since they couldn't come, I thought maybe you could do it.
Because I hid eggs all over the yard,
and I just wanted to see how many you could find before we
go to commercial.
OK.
For real?
All right.
Yeah.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
Also, I dropped my car keys last week.
See if you can find those.
That part, I know isn't--
Am I really looking?
Look for-- there should be like 30, like 35 eggs.
OK.
Go!
All right, hopefully, that'll keep Andy
at a distance for a while.
It's important to distract yourself--
I heard that.
Oh.
Because paying attention to news can be depressing.
But it turns out there's still other news happening,
it's not all bad.
So I asked our affiliate in Detroit
to give us some breaking news that's
not about the coronavirus.
Is there a boundary as to how far I can go?
No, you just go wherever you want.
OK.
Stay within the walls.
Oh.
[LAUGHING]
All right, here it is.
It's something I'm calling, "News Other
Than the Coronavirus News."
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This just in!
Those papers straws are not working.
Not for me, not for anybody.
I want to save the turtles as much as the next person.
But I also don't want to drink my latte through a wet noodle.
Once again, paper straws do not work for drinking liquids.
But they do most certainly suck.
We now return you to your regular programming.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
So if you're not-- well, we do want to save the turtles.
I'm told we have some more news that's
not about the coronavirus.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This just in!
I can't find my chair.
It was here when I left for lunch.
I come back, and it's gone.
Once again, somebody took my chair.
I don't know who you are.
I don't know what you want.
But I will find you.
We now return you to your regular programming.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
That guy's hilarious.
Don't break any plants!
I'm not.
I'm being careful!
So that means they're not here?
No, but I wouldn't put them that far in.
OK.
All right.
Is this because you're Jewish, you're
purposely not finding them?
[THUD]
[LAUGHTER]
Oh my God.
First of all, you just broke that one.
Oh, no.
See, you broke it!
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
There goes this week's paycheck.
Exactly!
[EXASPERATED SIGH] All right.
Have you ever done an Easter egg hunt before?
No.
I'm not a gentile.
Do you know what you do with the eggs, once you find them?
Yeah, that I know.
There's like little chocolates in them and treats.
No.
These you wash with Purell, the ones you find today.
I literally haven't found one, but keep going.
All right.
I think we have some more news that's
not about the coronavirus.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This just in!
I found another chair.
I couldn't find my chair, so I took this one
from someone else's desk.
Once again, this is not my chair.
But it is the only chair I have.
We now return you to your regular programming.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Really good stuff.
Uh oh, Andy?
Yeah.
You know what I just realized?
What?
It's a different part of the house?
Hmm, no.
I forgot to put them out.
Because when the whole quarantine happened,
I realized that--
I knew it was something with you.
It can't ever just be a nice little thing,
like, go find the eggs.
It always has to be--
you didn't put them out, did you?
Get out of the hedges!
I'm at least going to hold it up.
This is my new camouflage.
You don't even know I'm here.
It's better.
All right.
It's a more subtle way of--
We'll try again next Easter.
I assume I'll still be doing the show from here, then.
You can't see me.
I really can't.
There is no producer in the window.
All right, we'll be right back.
Oh boy.
[MOCKING]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[SIGH] Oh, man.
[SILLY SOUND EFFECTS]